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[Solved] My journey has been accelerating

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I am in a wonderful, formal FLR that is perfect for me because my wife enthusiastic control over our sex life and personal life liberates me from the "alpha male" role I play at work. I love her and trust her and am at total peace when I am in her space.

When I was in my 20s I think I naturally thought I was supposed to be the alpha all the time. For several years I was in a serious relationship with a wonderful, smart, beatutiful, sexy woman, and she would literally do anything for me, inside or outside the bedroom. She was endlessly kind, compassionate, and giving. She was even fantastically rich. I don't mean upper-middle class, comfortable rich. I mean, "Let's fly to Paris for brunch" rich. She even told me that if we got married, her father would galdly pay off my three years of private law school debt.

And, everything was about me. She would fly across the country to suprise me on a dull business trip. After one meeiting, on a whim, we rented a convertable Jaguar to drive US 1 up the California coast to Napa Valley where we staying in a B&B and toured wine country for a week. When I would come to pick her up at the airport, she would blow me in the car on the way home. She was so turned on by me, I actaully gave her an orgasm once just by playing with her breasts. But, everything we did had to be exactly what I wanted. Even if I couldn't care less about what we did, or where we went, we still had to do whatever I decided.

It was so awful, I actually broke up with her. For years, I would ask myself what the hell I was thinking. Beautiful, brilliant (MBA), horny, rich, into me, giving, loved my family (and was loved back). Did I need to have my head examined?

It has only been recently, more than 30 years later, that I realized somewhere in the back of my brain I knew that she wasn't what I needed. It is only now that I am deleriously happy in an FLR, that I have finally figured it out. It was exhausting being in charge of everything. Even then, all day everyday was high-pressure to keep everything in control. There was no liberation in letting go of all that when I stepped in to my personal life or the bedroom.


At the same time, there was no challenge. If I wanted to fuck in the bathroom of a jetliner flying at 30,000 feet, her answer would be, "Let's go" and she would call me a genius for thinking of it. One time, we were walking hand in hand on a beautiful deserted beach in the Bahamas (where her parents had a place) and I mentioned how romantic it was. She pulled off her top, lay down on the sand and let me screw her right there on the beach in broad daylight. When I told her I wanted to see her masturbate for me in public at the busiest shopping center in Washington, D.C., she found a way to do it as I stood there and watched her make herself cum in front 20 people within 50 feet of her.

I was obviously in a Male Led Relationship. I didn't think of it a such at the time, and it never occurred to me that what I needed was a Female Led Relationship. It took years of experience to figure that out. Although, I do think it is ironic that the thing that drives me to needing an FLR, being an alpha by day, is what attracted a woman who assumed I was like that all day long and would have been happy to be my sub.

Posted : 15/01/2023 5:05 pm
Posts: 241
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My wife and I got to reconnect yesterday.  She has been burning the candle and both ends for weeks due to her brother’s surgery and the expansion of our business.  We have not been able to spend more than one night together a week this month.

We got married a month ago, and there are many things we needed to make final decisions about, like where we were going to live.  There is no need to go through the litany of worries she has been facing recently.  Suffice it to say, she is not used to having a partner who is hard-wired to work together to address challenges.  It still surprises her, to a certain extent, that I really mean it when I say that putting her happiness first is my greatest priority.

Last night was the first night we have spent together at her house since we got married before Christmas.  Yesterday, we made the final decision that I will be moving to her house until the real estate market settles out.  We went through her place room by room to see what we could do to make space for the things will need to bring over.  We both felt great about the decision and how we were able to assuage her feeling of anxiety.

Each time we are forced to spend some time apart, her inhibitions tend to reassert themselves a little bit.  She loves our FLR and being the one in control inside and outside the bedroom.  But, she is loving and compassionate, and it seems that she needs reassurance from me, after we have been apart for a while, I really do prefer being her submissive.

We woke up together this morning and she was very gentle in asserting her control.  For example, after saying good morning to each other, I asked her if she wanted her morning coffee (I prepared the coffee maker last night before we went to bed).

She said, “Yes, I do.  You stay here.  I’ll go make it.”

I immediately put my hand on her and said, “Please don’t.  That is my job.  I want to do it.”  Then I popped out of bed and took my stiff erection down to the kitchen to make the coffee.  I don’t think she really wanted to go make the coffee.  I think it was a gentle test to see if I was really still prepared to get up and make her coffee every day now that we are married.

After our first cup, she took another gentle step by asking me to do some things for her, not telling me.  “Will you get me a Kleenex, get me another pillow, and take off your shirt?” she asked.

“Of course,” I replied. 

Once we were both naked and kissing, I could tell that she was very aroused.  But instead of instructing me on what to do to bring her pleasure, she asked me, “What way do you like most to give me pleasure?”

We have had the conversation that I enjoy putting her first and giving her what she wants, when she wants it, dozens of times.  I know she was testing again, but I answered in a different way this time.

“You know I like it all and that I like putting you and your pleasure first.  But, honestly, if you are asking me what gives me the most pleasure, it is having you use me for your pleasure like a sex-object.  Of course, I enjoy giving you pleasure.  But what turns me on the most is when you take total control and use me like a sex toy.”

Almost immediately, she pushed me onto my back and started stroking me.  “You are not to come!” she told me.  It was not long before I warned her that I was getting close to orgasm.  She took turns pausing and bringing me to the edge four or five times.  Then she let go and rolled onto her back.

She spread her legs and said, “Now, my turn.”  She supervised me as she had me bring her to two successive earth-shattering orgasms with my fingers.

She turned toward me again and said, “OK, now some pleasure for you.”

I have been wanting to introduce her to something new for us, and this seemed like the chance.  I said, “You know what I would enjoy?  Have you ever heard of soaking?  I’d like to get inside of you.  I promise I won’t cum.  But I’d like to just be inside you and give you the pleasure of me filling you up.”

She replied, “OK,” and she lay back on the bed.  I climbed on top of her and entered her.  I didn’t make any particular motions.  I just kissed her gently while my penis swelled inside of her.

She loved it.  Eventually, she started moving in very gentle and subtle motions. I could tell she was close to orgasm.  I didn’t do anything more than reciprocate her gentle motions and encouraged her to cum.  She had six consecutive orgasms with me inside her doing nothing more than gently rolling my hips.  She dug her fingernails into my back deeper with each successive orgasm.

Each orgasm was stronger than the last until finally, she collapsed in my arms.  I withdrew, rolled beside her, and held her in my arms while she came down.  She slipped into a twilight state, not quite asleep, but not fully awake.  I held her in my arms with a bear hug, kissing her ear, neck, and shoulder.  After almost 15 minutes, she told me her toes were still tingling and that tiny waves of pleasure were still rolling over her body.

I touched her again with my fingers.  She quickly came and screamed as another orgasm overtook her.

After that orgasm, she returned to edging me.  Finally, she gave me permission to cum and gave me an incredible release with her hand.  I came so much that my neck, chest, and belly were covered with semen.  She gave me a minute or two to recover and then had me go get her more coffee.

We snuggled and talked in bed while we finished our second cups of coffee.  Before we got up to start the day, she took my flaccid penis back in her hand and said, “I am going to tease you and deny you, so you are thinking about me until we are together again tomorrow night.”

She was as good as her word.  She brought me to the edge four more times and had me begging to be allowed to give her more orgasms.  Finally, I begged for permission to cum again.  She told me, “No,” and gave my balls a firm squeeze. “Time for a shower,” she said.

It seems that she has accepted that teasing and denying me is not “mean,” and I find it as pleasurable as she does.  After several stressful weeks, it feels like we have fallen into the groove again.

Posted : 29/01/2023 1:37 pm
MPowerYou and true42 reacted
Posts: 241
Topic starter

January by the numbers.

About 10 months ago, back when we were just girlfriend and boyfriend and starting to refer to our relationship as a female-led relationship openly, I started keeping track of our sexual activity.  I thought keeping accurate data would help me be sure she was taking control and asserting her dominance because she preferred it and wanted things that way, and not because she was trying to make me happy.

That is not a question to worry about anymore.  We got engaged over the summer and the terms of the proposal (a formal FLR with her in complete charge of our private and sex lives) were set out in writing.  Our relationship only improved and became more intimate.  We got married in December with me in my Mature Metal rings of commitment and the celebrant making explicit reference to the terms from my proposal.  My wife knows I record our activity and was blown away by a chart I made for her comparing the number of our respective orgasms.

I have continued to keep track for two reasons.  First, it is a way of channeling my sexual energy now that I am permitted dramatically fewer orgasms than I used to enjoy.  Second, it keeps me focused on our commitment that our sex is solely for her pleasure.

There is always plenty of interesting information in the data at the end of each month.  But there are two main takeaways from the numbers for January 2023.

My focus continues to be consistent with the ratio between our orgasms continuing to be strong with her having 5 for everyone that I have.  PIV releases for me continue to be rare.  I was allowed to cum inside her twice last month and both times were at her specific direction. Nothing new in these stats.

What is exciting to me is that her comfort in asserting her dominance continues to grow.  January is the first time there has been parity between instances of her teasing and denying me or ruining my orgasm, on the one hand, and permitting me a full orgasm, on the other hand (no pun intended).  I am expecting (hoping) that I will be permitted a release tomorrow, a full seven days since my last release.  But she has enjoyed two different tease and denial sessions with me in the meantime, with multiple edges and a ruined orgasm. 

The heightened arousal feels like electricity coursing through my veins.

Posted : 04/02/2023 11:34 am
true42 reacted
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