My journey has been accelerating
What is an "AMA"?
Ask Me Anything.
I know that I am a very lucky man to have found a beautiful, confident woman who loves our FLR and gets off on being in total control of our sex life. I am not sure of the cause, but my wife has been even more passionate and intense than usual when it comes to bedroom activities this month.
During the first half of the month, she was in rare form and enjoying her dominance. She did permit me two orgasms that were strictly on her terms. But she teased and denied me three times, left me with one ruined orgasm, and we spent one exciting night where all she did was supervise me masturbating for her. As I mentioned in my last post, she became so turned on during one love-making session that she had multiple orgasms just from making out.
I was considering myself one lucky SOB, but then she showed me that I hadn’t seen anything yet.
We were able to spend the night together a few days ago before I left on a trip to Florida. She came to my house after work and I made her a nice but simple meal. She relaxed with a crossword puzzle while I did the dishes and then we headed upstairs to the bedroom.
Once we were in bed she immediately asserted herself. She matter-of-factly instructed me to remove my t-shirt while she stripped nude herself. She began kissing me aggressively. I know she loves to kiss and I don’t presume to touch her breasts or put my hand between her legs until she tells me to do so. We kissed for more than 20 minutes with her gradually moving to the dominant position over me. As she straddled my thigh and kissed me passionately, and like our last time making love, she had a gentle orgasm without any direct stimulation other than my kisses. I think I enjoyed that orgasm as much as she did.
After her orgasm receded, she pushed herself up onto her elbow and spoke to me.
“I know sex is for my pleasure,” she said, “but the first thing that is going to happen is that I am going to bring you to the edge because that is what I want to do.” As she said this, she gently started fondling my man parts.
“Ah, you want to enjoy a little wicked pleasure,” I said.
“No. I am feeling very wicked tonight. You are not to cum. Tell me when you get close,” she told me. “I want to hear you beg.” I was putty in her hands. She edged me until the pre-cum was flowing freely from my hard penis. I was hot, but she was hotter.
She stopped and rolled onto her back. “Touch me and feel how wet I am,” she said.
I gently stroked her pussy and let one finger slip inside of her. She was so wet it actually made me groan.
“Lick me. I want to cum again,” she told me.
I immediately moved between her legs and inhaled her musky scent deeply. I gave her pussy one long stroke with a wide, flat tongue and she grabbed my head firmly with her hands. She moaned as she tilted her pelvis and shoved her pussy into my face.
She usually likes me to take my time in bringing her to the peak. But not this time. I could tell she wanted a hard orgasm as fast as I could give it to her so I focused on her engorged clit immediately. Within two or three minutes she was groaning and grunting at the top of her lungs and she yelled my name as her orgasm crashed over her.
No sooner did I stop to let her catch her breath than she growled, “More!” So. I dove right back in.
After a second strong climax, she told me, “I want you inside of me!” She threw her legs open wide and pulled me up by my ears.
I can read her body language and knew that her mood had changed. I could tell that she wanted her next orgasms to be slow and passionate. It was hard work since I had been teased to the very edge of orgasm five or six times already. Eating her through two massive orgasms only made my predicament worse.
But I did my best to keep my mind on her pleasure and off the pressure building in my loins. I was able to keep myself under control as I brought her to two more orgasms.
Then she kissed me and looked me in the eye and said, “I want you to cum with me and inside of me when I have the next one.” It was not a request.
Having her order me to cum inside of her almost made me cum instantly. I had to pull out suddenly to keep myself from going over the edge. Once I had calmed down, I re-entered her and slowly started pushing her toward another orgasm.
As she peaked, I begged for permission to cum.
“Yes! You have my permission,” she said as she pulled me into her with her arms. An instant later, I released deep inside of her.
We were so exhausted we just held each other without saying a word for several long minutes. The first words she said to me were, “I need champagne, please.”
I happily climbed out of bed and went to the kitchen to retrieve a cold glass of her favorite drink for her. I got back into bed and held her in my arms with my head resting on her soft breast while she sipped her champagne. It was a wonderful, intimate snuggle.
I am returning home this weekend, but she is now away for her high school reunion. She was president of her class and I know she will come home brimming with self-confidence and inner strength after spending time with her old friends for two days. I cannot wait to see what that will mean for me.
For my new wife and me, the month of March felt like we jumped onto a treadmill that was running at full speed and we never got a break. I had two out-of-town business trips and she had an out-of-town high school reunion. One of her daughters got married (out-of-town), my wife threw a baby shower for her other daughter (also out-of-town), AND I moved from my old house into her home with all my possessions. An extra bonus stressor was that her youngest daughter stayed with us for two weeks (because of the wedding and baby shower).
My point is there was not a lot of time for playing games, exploration, and subtlety if you understand what I am saying. I think we got to see each other in our unvarnished states. It was a “what you see is what you get" kind of month. To that extent, it was really cool.
Since our FLR only started to emerge in a serious way about 18 months and only became formal about 1 year ago, I still have moments when I feel like I want to pinch myself because I must be dreaming. There I still a small part of me that wonders if my wife can really be so fantastic, dominating, and truly into our decision to put her first in all things in our personal lives and to make all our sex about her pleasure.
So, I consider March a real test of the true nature of our relationship. In another post, I will share a story that I think summarizes where we are. But for now, it is time to report on our March By the Numbers. And I think the numbers speak for themselves about the role of sex in our lives. For those who have not seen my monthly updates before, I began tracking our sexual activity on the Nice app in May of 2022 as a way of providing a reality check against my growing perception that my wife (then girlfriend) was sincerely embracing our decision to put her first in all things involving sex.
Last month, the ratio of orgasms continued at a typical 5 for her for every 1 of mine. Having me eat her out continued to be her favorite way of having orgasms, followed by me using my fingers while holding her close in my arms. She only permitted me to enter her twice during the month, but I was allowed to cum inside of her both of those times.
Even more than cumming on my tongue, her favorite activity was clearly dominating me. During the month she teased and denied me 4 times and administered 2 ruined orgasms. If you exclude the 2 times she wanted me to be inside of her, virtually every other session involved her having me jerk off for her with her supervising my masturbation. One of those times she instructed me to bring myself to orgasm for her. The other times she either instructed me to stop and denied me, or she took over stroking me herself. When she does this, it always leads to multiple edges, but I never know if it will end an orgasm for me or not. Sometimes I am given permission to release (I must always ask for permission), but as often as not, she denies me or ruins my orgasm.
If this is what things look like in a busy month full of stress, I am very happy. We should get a chance to relax and settle into living together full-time in April and I am excited to see how she will handle things.
I am finally living together with my wife full-time. I moved into her house about two weeks ago. I have been looking forward to living in the same space because I have been anxious to see how our commitment to her being dominant and my being submissive in our personal lives would play out when neither of us had our own private space to return to.
Well, I think I have my answer. I think this summarizes it all.
I moved into her house while she was out of town at her high school reunion. She told me how she wanted my things to fit into her space and left it up to me to get it done. She took off work early on that Friday and left for her reunion. I returned from an out-of-town business trip at 12:30 in the morning on that Saturday, and at 9:00 a.m. the movers showed up to start moving my things. She returned late Sunday afternoon and the movers and I had the job finished (well, we do have plenty of boxes to go through).
Since then, I have continued to regularly bring her coffee in the morning. I have made the bed every single morning and I have washed and folded every load of laundry since I moved in. She loves to cook and has made dinner most nights since I have had to work late. But I haven’t seen her put even one dish in the dishwasher.
She is not loafing while I do the chores. She has been very busy herself. Her youngest daughter has been staying with us. She has worked full time during the weeks and the last three weekends she had three out-of-town events (her reunion, her oldest daughter’s wedding, and, yesterday, throwing a baby shower for her youngest daughter).
Yesterday, I was tasked with taking her ex-husband to my gun club for shooting, lunch, and a few drinks/cigars, because neither of us was invited to the baby shower. I got home from entertaining her ex about the same time she and her daughter returned from the shower. After a long month, my wife was whipped.
Her daughter ordered pizza and after we finished I loaded the dishwasher and set it to run. It was only 8:30 but my wife was ready to call it a day. I decided to take a shower to wash away the cigar smoke. I was putting on a t-shirt as I entered the bedroom, but I saw my wife was already in bed without any clothes on.
I immediately discarded my shirt and climbed into bed next to her. She wanted to cuddle, so I held her close in my arms. After about half an hour she began kissing me. She loves to make out, so we kissed passionately for about 45 minutes.
Eventually, she rolled onto her back and said, “Would you touch me please?”
Of course, I obliged. She laid back and allowed me to pleasure her. Recently, she has been practicing trying to stay relaxed during her orgasms rather than tensing her body. She says she finds that the orgasms are better and last much longer if she tries to ride them. I will have to start taking a peak at the clock when she cums, but last night I am sure that her first orgasm lasted for well over two minutes with lingering aftershocks lasting at least that long.
She slipped into her state of bliss and lay in my arms as she recovered. She told me she felt like a wet rag. Once she had recovered she wanted me to use my fingers again. So, I gave her another powerful orgasm while she clung to my neck.
After this orgasm, she was back in her state of bliss and in a zone. She even drifted off to sleep in my arms for a while. She woke up and told me she had fallen asleep and had a total feeling of peace. I did not want to disturb her but I was very horny from my period of denial.
I asked her, “May I have permission to jerk off while I look at your sexy body? I promise I won’t cum.”
She nodded and so I began to stroke myself.
She said, “Maybe I’ll let you make me all wet. You haven’t done that for a very long time.”
I brought myself to the edge several times but stopped each time I was close to stroke her beautiful body. Eventually, I could not touch my penis without being immediately back on the edge. It was so sexy seeing my wife in a state of total relaxation. She just simply rested peacefully and didn’t raise a hand to pleasure me, or even tease me.
Several times I thanked her.
“For what?” she asked.
"For giving me permission to jerk off to your incredibly sexy body," I replied.
She just smiled.
When felt dangerously close to the edge, I was desperate to cum. I asked her, “May I please have permission to cum for you?”
“No,” she said. “I am enjoying watching you jerk off for me.”
I asked her, “Would you like me to lick your pussy or give you another orgasm with my fingers?”
“No. I have had all the orgasms I want. I love watching you jerk off for me,” she said.
Finally, on my third request, she gave me permission to cum for her. “Yes. You have my permission. Make me all wet,” she said.
My orgasm was mind-blowing. When I finally recovered from cumming, I placed a soft kiss on her lips. She kissed me back, pulled up the covers over her wet belly, and rolled onto her side. She was asleep immediately.
I know I am the submissive in this relationship, but I feel extremely powerful to be able to give her so much pleasure.
My Queen and I started working together 6 years ago this month. We’ve been a serious couple for five and a half years. We got engaged last July and were married at Christmas time about three and a half months ago. But we have had our own places the whole time. I just moved into her house about a month ago.
For the first two and a half weeks, we were not really “getting settled into our home,” as her youngest daughter was staying with us. Almost as soon as my furniture was in place, we were immediately thrown into her oldest daughter’s wedding. No sooner was that over, than my wife was throwing a baby shower for the youngest daughter and then driving with her to Texas (from Virginia!) to help her take all of the family nursery furniture to its new home for the next generation. My wife finally flew back home on April 5. I was really looking forward to being in our new home alone where my wife would finally be able to revel, undistracted, in her status as the leader of our FLR.
I had been looking forward to our merging households and stepping up the pampering of my Queen. Mostly, I have been looking forward to enjoying watching her spread her FLR wings. I love her desperately and I want to give her the kind of life she deserves.
She loves to cook, so I have not tried to interfere with that pleasure. But I always offer to help, and it seems like I am responsible for anything done on the grill. I do all the dishes, load, run and unload the dishwasher. I have hired a maid who comes to clean the house top-to-bottom once a week. I bring her coffee in bed and have made the bed every morning after we get up. And she has not done a single load of laundry or folded a single article of clothing since I moved in. A professional yardman keeps the outdoors in order. She enjoys eating out and so we go out at least twice a week to whatever restaurant she chooses.
I know she loves being treated like a queen. You should have seen the look of pride on her face during a recent meal out. Our firm hit its goal for the month of March, so I gave all our employees Good Friday off so everyone could enjoy a long weekend. I took her out for a nice lunch and did my best to make her feel special. I was probably especially attentive because she had teased and denied me that morning.
When we got up from our table to leave, a woman at the table across from us stopped us to tell my wife, “I love your love!” She was having lunch with her fiancé. She told us they were getting married in two weeks. She asked us how long we had been together and said, “I hope we are so obviously in love when we have been together for six years.”
Her fiancé asked me what our secret was.
I told him, “Everything in our personal life is about her pleasure. It gives me incredible pleasure to provide it for her and she really loves being treated like my Queen.”
He smiled and nodded approvingly. Her eyes grew to the size of saucers, and she was speechless. I hope we helped inspire some good conversation between them.
But, despite my efforts to encourage her to spread her FLR wings and soar, she has been noticeably uptight. I asked her a few times if something was bothering her and each time she said no. Last weekend I brought it up again and we had a very open conversation. To make a long story short, it turns out that the ghost of her ex-husband still dwells in our home.
They were married for more than 25 years and for more than one-half of the marriage they were in this house. He was an extremely self-centered, “traditional” man. He cut the grass and she did everything else. She was given a strict allowance with which she was expected to raise the children and run the household. In his mind, there was nothing unusual about him being able to buy a cabin cruiser yacht without consulting her. And of course, it was expected that she would make dinner the night she came home from the hospital after having a hysterectomy. She tells me it was a major battle to get him to move a load of his own clothes from the washer to the dryer. If she ever had an orgasm during their marriage, it was purely accidental.
Being uptight and playing her cards close to the vest was her way of maintaining some sense of control during their marriage. She knows I am not him. But, without thinking she fell into her old ways. At some level, she was having a struggle with control.
I am offering her 100% control not only of her life, but my personal life too. She is used to scrounging for control as a defensive mechanism. She has accepted, even wanted, this. But something was different once we were in the house together permanently.
The conversation was great, and it really helped clear the air. She knew something was wrong, but she hadn’t thought about it. She was just operating on instinct. She asked me to help remind her life really is different now and that she is not living a dream. She doesn’t have to be afraid that she will wake up one morning to realize that she is a second-class citizen instead of the boss.
It is a work in progress, but she is doing well in asserting her true self.
On Wednesday morning she woke me early and told me she wanted her coffee. I was back in a jiffy with two steaming cups. We snuggled and sipped for a while when she told me she expected a stressful day and she wanted me to make sure she started her day stress-free. She lay back and I made love to her with my fingers, bringing her to several strong orgasms. She is a compassionate woman and knew it had been almost a week since I had been granted a release. So, while she lay back with her eyes closed enjoying her “state of bliss,” she instructed me to jerk off for her. After instructing me to pause several times at the edge of orgasm, she finally granted me permission to have an orgasm so long as I made myself cum on her stomach.
Yesterday, she was more active and more controlling. After waking me up to get her coffee she told me she wanted me to enter her. I made love to her slowly and passionately and brought her to a series of gentle orgasms before pulling out and bringing her to a very strong and sustained orgasm with my fingers. After she recovered, she rolled on her side and began giving me a teasing handjob. When I was dripping pre-cum, she stopped and told me she wanted more coffee. When I came back to bed with the coffee, she snuggled up with her head on my chest. We talked about our plans for the weekend. About half an hour later, once I had reconciled myself to being denied, and almost as an afterthought, she resumed her handjob and gave me permission to cum all over my chest.
Today was the kind of day I have been dreaming of. This morning she worked in the garage preparing for a yard sale she wants to hold next week. I went out to take some trash to the dump, do some shopping, and get an oil change for one of the cars. I rushed home to make her lunch. After I had cleaned up and put the dishes in the dishwasher, I started to leave the kitchen to do some work in the basement.
She said, “Not so fast. Don’t leave yet.”
I asked, “What’s up?”
“I want you here,” she said as she sat up on the kitchen counter and motioned with her finger for me to come to her. I stood between her legs and she kissed me passionately. The next thing I knew, she was in her favorite comfy chair in the family room naked from the waist down with me kneeling between her legs. I was in heaven as I was permitted to bring her to several orgasms with my tongue.
When she had had enough she told me, “You can do what you need to do in the basement now.” I headed downstairs and she moved to the couch and turned on the TV.
After years in an unhappy marriage with a selfish man, the woman who is now my wife developed the habit of being reserved in her home life as a defensive mechanism. Quite naturally, she associates these reservations with the house which she kept after their divorce. Even though I am a very different man than her ex-husband, having a man back under the same roof full-time seems to have triggered these old habits. We talked about this phenomenon a couple of weeks ago and agreed to work together to create a new, positive, and healthier dynamic at home.
For a while, after we talked, she did great. But the old habits gradually returned last week once we got back into our regular grind. She, once again, seemed unnaturally hesitant to exercise her dominance in our relationship. These old inhibitions were clearly keeping her from the joy she has learned to live with since we agreed to our FLR. And in turn, this was worrying me and diminishing the peace I get from being in her control. Just as before, it was nothing intentional. But the vibe in our house was way off.
My wife could see that something was bothering me and brought it up at the end of the day last Thursday. Of course, I was very open with her about what I was seeing and how I felt. She couldn’t believe that even though we had talked about this just a week before, she had unconsciously slipped right back into her old habits. She immediately recognized what was happening and turned to me to look at ways that we could help her resist these old habits and negative impulses. It was kind of like a wake-up call. Those old habits are so ingrained they just take over even though they are the last things she wants. She immediately recognized that these habits were going to be harder to break than she initially thought.
It wasn’t a difficult conversation. I think we just needed to expose what was happening to the light of day. Since our talk, she has been much more intentional about letting go of those inhibitions that hold her back and being mindful of letting her true self shine through.
By Friday morning, she was spreading her wings again and enjoying her control in our relationship. As we were getting ready for the day, she told me we were having a date on Friday night. She wanted to stay in for a movie and have me make her dinner. We had a wonderful, relaxing evening that ended with her falling asleep with her head on my shoulder.
On Saturday, I was sent off to run errands and told to return home in time to take her to see my son who was singing at a local winery. We had a wonderful afternoon drinking wine, seeing friends, and dancing to my son’s music. Once again, the day ended with us snuggling and her falling asleep with her head on my shoulder.
On Sunday, she woke me up and told me she was ready for her coffee. As I started to get out of bed and she pulled me back and said, “Don’t go so fast.”
"Would you like something to eat, too?“ I asked.
She replied, “No. But you have something to eat,” as she nodded toward her nether regions.
I got busy and buried my face in her wonderful pussy. When she had had enough, she pushed me onto my back and reached for my erection. What followed was exquisite teasing and denial session that ended with me begging for permission to come or, at least, permission to lick her pussy again.
She declined. “I’m going to run to the store and pick up a few things while you enjoy your Sunday paper,” she said. And with that, she rolled out of bed and was gone.
After I had breakfast and repaired a few things around the house that needed fixing, my wife returned home from running errands. We had plans to go look for some furniture for my man cave, so we both headed upstairs to take a shower before heading out. We both began disrobing. Once she was naked, instead of heading for the shower, she lay back on the bed and said authoritatively, “I’d like you to lick my pussy.“
I said “Yes, ma’am,” and asked, “Would you like some kisses first?”
“No. You can get right to it,” she said.
When she had had her fill, she sat up in the bed and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. “Thank you very much,” she said. “That was wonderful.” She got up and left me with my straining erection as she headed for the shower. Over her shoulder, she said, “I want you thinking about licking my pussy all day.”
Well, her plan certainly worked. It was all I could do to keep my mind on what we were doing the rest of the afternoon. The anticipation that I might get a chance to make love to her again and maybe even get a release that evening kept me cheerful and attentive all afternoon and evening.
After dinner, I did the dishes while she relaxed watching a TV show. When the program ended, she took me by the hand and led me upstairs where we got into bed together and snuggled up close with her head on my shoulder. Once again, there was no release nor was there even any additional teasing. She just promptly fell asleep with her arm across my chest.
Monday morning was a different story. She woke me up by snuggling up to me with her head on my chest. No sooner was I awake than she made it clear she wanted to make out. After kissing for several minutes, she pulled her head back, looked me in the eye, and told me, “I want you to touch me.” I brought her to two explosive orgasms with my fingertips.
Then she said, “I want you inside of me.” She spread her legs and as I climbed on top of her she guided my hard penis into her wet love tunnel. I made slow passionate love to her and brought her to four more orgasms while she dug her fingernails into my back.
After her final orgasm, I pulled out and cuddled up to her side. She relaxed for a few minutes in that zone she calls her “state of bliss.” When she had recovered, she said, “I want you to jerk off for me and tell me when you are close.”
I did as instructed. When I announced that I was getting close to the edge she told me to stop. She took over stroking me and brought me to the edge numerous times. Each time I got close, I asked for permission to cum and each time she said, “No.” But, then after a few moments, she would resume the teasing.
I was in exquisite agony because I had no idea if she intended to deny me again and send me off to work horny, or if she intended to allow me to orgasm.
In the end, she granted me permission to cum and stroked me to an explosive orgasm. She rolled out of bed as I was recovering and she said, “Don’t forget to make the bed.”
This is a test. I am having trouble posting.
After a run-in with some old inhibitions, since I moved into my wife’s house with her, my wife has been doing a wonderful job of embracing her power in our female-led relationship. When She senses an inhibition about our dynamic, she quickly realizes that it is the legacy of some poison dropped in the water decades ago by her mother or her ex-husband. About that quickly, she dismisses them and acts on her natural desire to be in control of her life and live the way she wants to. Not only does she find that she is generally more at peace, but she is also having fun.
On Saturday morning, I woke up to find that she had a clear agenda for the day. Item one on her list was some personal time between the two of us. She was intent on putting me through what turned out to be the most intense tease and denial session I have ever had. Of course, it was incredibly arousing for me. But the best part, by far, was watching her be absolutely giddy with joy over having me totally under her control.
She wasn’t going through any motions. She was letter herself run free. While I submissively laid there, flat on my back, she had her right arm under my back and neck. She looked down on me from a dominating position and firmly held my penis. She did things like dip her fingers deep into her wet pussy and then wipe them across my face. She told me that I was not to wash my face so that I would be forced to smell her scent all day. She stroked me authoritatively with her left hand while she stared directly into my eyes.
She made it clear from the outset that she was going to tease me but deny me permission to cum. But she repeatedly taunted me by asking me if I wanted to cum. She reminded me that I must tell her when I feel an orgasm approaching. At first, she would slow down or stop briefly when I warned her I was getting close to make sure she had me firmly under her control. But soon she was pushing me farther. She likened it to driving a race car at the Indy 500. She was intentionally trying to drive me faster and faster, getting as close to the wall as she could get, without causing a wreck. Each time I begged for permission to cum, she would say “No” in a sweet voice, shift gears, and begin pushing me farther.
She was explicit that she expected my cooperation. I was not only having to give her a warning that my arousal was surging and ask for permission to cum when she had me on the edge but, for the first time, she had me begging her to stop since I did not have permission to cum. This new requirement was mind-blowing for me. Never in my life did I ever think that I would willingly beg a woman NOT to let me cum. The intensity was off the charts as I repeatedly had to say, “Stop, stop, stop” while I was arching my back and doing anything to resist the impulse to cum.
Finally, with all the focus of a graduate student conducting an experiment, after 45 minutes of exquisite torture, she intentionally gave me one stroke too many and abruptly stopped. Her eyes went quickly back and forth between my penis and my face as she watched me endure a ruined orgasm. It was a perfect ruin. I teetered on the edge for about ten seconds after she stopped her stroking. My penis twitched and pulsed until, finally, a slow, pleasureless dribble of cum ran from the head of my cock. After I regained my composure, she resumed stroking me and return my penis to its throbbing state.
Occasionally, after she gives me a ruined orgasm, she will resume and finish me off. Not this time. Once she brought me back to the edge, and just when I was beginning to hope that she would put me out of my misery, she simply stopped, gave me a kiss, and said, “OK. That’s it. Let’s get going.”
I have to confess that the height of sub-space for me happens when I have to climb out of bed in front of her with a raging erection, knowing that I will not get my release and that my hard-on will be observed, but ignored, while I go get her more coffee or warm her bath towel. The sub-space is even deeper if I am displaying a pool of semen on my belly from an intentionally unsatisfying, ruined orgasm. I would not say I feel humiliated. I would say I feel humble, possessed, and vulnerable.
It was no surprise that I was putty in her hands for the rest of the day.
On Sunday morning I was awakened when I felt her hand under the covers fondling my cock and balls. Using them as a handle, she rolled me over to my side and made out with me for 15 minutes. I knew she was warming up because I could hear her cooing through her kisses. Then, she let out a tiny gasp, like she just had an idea, and said, “I’d like you to lick me.”
I immediately kissed my way down across her beautiful breasts and her sexy stomach to the V between her legs and began worshiping her pussy. She rode my face through four orgasms, and I became more and more aroused with each one. After the fourth, she tapped me on the side of my head to indicate that she had had enough. I came up for air and took one last deep breath, inhaling her musky scent. As I returned to her side and embraced her, she told me, “I’d like my coffee now.” That overwhelmingly submissive feeling overtook me as I paraded past her with my raging erection leading the way and she reclined on the bed.
I ground fresh beans and started a pot of coffee brewing. I took advantage of the time to make a small bowl of fresh strawberries for my Queen to enjoy with her coffee. Soon I was returning to the bedroom with her morning treat and a cup of coffee for each of us. While she relaxed in bed, enjoying her strawberries and sipping her coffee, I rested my head on her warm soft breast.
Once she finished her coffee, she rolled to her side and resumed making out with me. I wondered how she would want me to service her next, but she surprised me. She wanted to talk instead. She wanted to ask me about the ruined orgasm she gave me the morning before. It was like I was back with the graduate student again while she was gathering data from her experiment.
She had lots of questions; like, “Did you cum at all?” “So, tell me exactly what it feels like when I ruin your orgasm.” “What happens after I stop stroking but before the ejaculation begins.” “Sometimes your cum dribbles out and sometimes you have weak spurts. How come?” And so on.
I love these moments of openness and vulnerability. I asked her questions, too. “You obviously enjoyed yesterday morning. What did you like it so much?”
“Well, you clearly loved it! So, that is a part of it,” she said. “But the main thing is that I love that you get me and know how I love to be in control. It makes me feel powerful and the fact ath you love me being in control, too, makes it even better. I get a wicked pleasure knowing that I can excite you so much and have total control over your orgasms.”
“Do you feel like it is ‘work’ to tease and deny me?” I asked her.
“No. Sometimes I feel like I have so many things that have to be accomplished in my day that I don’t feel relaxed enough to indulge myself and leisurely make love. But I know that both of us can get pleasure from me teasing and denying you for a set period of time and then I can go on about my business,” she replied.
“Do you ever wish that we would go back to the way things were before we had an FLR?” I asked.
She answered, “Absolutely not. Do you think I am an idiot?”
As the conversation would down, I was instructed to touch her. “I want to have a big one,” she said. She was soaking wet between her legs. I used my fingers to bring her to a screaming orgasm. I noticed that her orgasm lasted an extraordinarily long time.
Recently, she has been concentrating on resisting the urge to clinch up her entire body when she cums. When she was recovering in my arms, I asked her if she had just done this. She said she had. I asked her what it feels like when she rides the wave instead of taking the plunge. She said it allows her to stretch the pleasure out over a much longer period of time. She says the peak is not as intense as when she bears down, but the total pleasure over the extended time is much greater.
I told her that this is exactly how it feels when she teases and denies me. “Sure, I don’t get the intense spike that comes from a full orgasm. But then again, it is not over in 20 seconds. Instead, I can get a high that lasts for hours.
While I was talking she started giving me a handjob. Before long it was feeling so good that I couldn’t continue with the conversation. I felt like she was taking the race car out on the speed track again and I had no idea whether she was going to allow me to cum or deny me once again. Until the last second, I had no idea what she would do. I was begging like a fool, but she just kept taking me closer and closer to the edge.
As I reach the point of no return, she relented and gave me permission to cum. The orgasm was so intense (it had been a week since I was last permitted a release) I splashed semen all over my own face.
Those who read my posts know that my wife’s inhibitions make a frequent appearance in the story of our FLR journey. There are some inhibitions that she has no interest in abandoning. For example, “back doors” are dirty and for one-way traffic only. Because her mind is so closed when it comes to her back door, I am sure that pegging me has never even crossed her mind. Since all our sex is for her pleasure, I don’t even suggest pegging because I know the reaction would be immediate and negative.
But most of her other sexual inhibitions are habits that she sees as affecting her negatively and she wants to lose them. Old habits die hard, however, and it takes time to change mindsets. Fortunately, she welcomes my help in letting these old mindsets go.
The concept of receiving pleasure without physical reciprocity has probably been the biggest challenge for her. Before we started dating, the mindset she had been conditioned to accept was that sex was for the man’s pleasure. She did not feel she had the right to be sexually satisfied at all. If it happened, it was purely by coincidence. In her prior 27-year marriage, she could count the number of orgasms she had with her husband on one hand. The fact that I took her pleasure seriously was pretty mind-blowing for her.
The change in her mindset regarding reciprocity has gone through several stages. Each one had its own challenges.
Mindset change number one: Her sexual pleasure is important.
Mindset change number two: She always comes first.
Mindset change number three: All our sex is for her pleasure.
Mindset change number four: No reciprocity is required.
Mindset change number five: She owns all my orgasms.
Mindset change number six: I know she gets sexual pleasure from being the one in control. In fact, I enjoy her exercise of total control even when she uses that power to get a “wicked thrill” from actively teasing me and/or denying me a sexual release of my own.
Wrapped up in each of these changes is the idea that she should not feel guilty or selfish in embracing the new mindset. I realized this weekend that we have finally gotten the reciprocity monkey off her back, and she is beginning to actively explore and play with the limits of teasing for both our pleasures. She is having a great time and, therefore, so am I.
Friday morning she woke me up at 5:30 to make out. She told me to lick her pussy. When she was satisfied, she told me to lie down beside her. She proceeded to tease me and repeatedly edged me. She brought me two consecutive ruined orgasms before declaring that she was finished and getting up to take a shower. The denial was exquisite.
Saturday, we spent the day at the local apple blossom festival. We returned home to watch the Kentucky Derby. The minute the winner of the race was announced, my wife turned off the TV and told me to get naked. She took control and kissed me passionately. She made a game of slowly drawing out permission for me to touch her pussy. Eventually, I was allowed to focus on bringing her to orgasm. Then she told me to stop. She pushed me onto my back and began giving me a handjob.
“Tell me when you are close,” she said.
When I did, she stopped and rolled onto her back again. “Now, me,” she said.
Just as I got her to the edge, she told me, “Stop.” And she resumed her superior position over me and began edging me again.
She repeated this process of teasing me and then supervising my teasing of her for 7 or 8 rounds lasting well over an hour. Finally, when I was building her arousal, she said to me, “Don’t stop.” She allowed me to make her cum. It seemed to last forever. I held her in my arms as she recovered. Then she simply said, “Again.” I gladly brought her to another strong orgasm.
Once she had recovered, she took my penis in her hand and brought me to the edge three or four more times. Eventually, she gave me permission to release and my eyes rolled back in my head as I came for her. We fell asleep for a nap in each other’s arms.
This morning, we woke up at about the same time. I took a trip to the bathroom and when I returned, she said, “I’d like coffee.”
“Of course,” I said. “Would you like Bailey’s or cream?” I took her order and went off to the kitchen to make brew a pot of coffee.
I returned with two steaming cups and we started the day off by sharing them in bed while snuggling. When she had finished her cup and rolled onto her side and took my erection in her hand. “I’m not going to allow you to cum,” she told me.
I groaned audibly. She teased me to the edge several times resulting in me begging for permission to cum.
“Oh, you’d like to cum?” she asked.
“Please,” I begged.
“Are you right at the edge?” she asked.
“Yessss!” I hissed through my teeth, trying to hold back my orgasm.
“No. Not now,” she said. And she let go. She gave me a quick peck on the lips and said, “OK. Let’s go.” She laid back and watched me get out of bed and walk to the bathroom with a raging erection.
This afternoon, as I was writing this post, she came down to my man cave to see if there was anything I wanted.
“I am sure you can guess what I want,” I answered.
She pulled off her leggings and panties and sat back in a recliner. “Make it fast,” she said.
I got down to my knees and crawled between her legs. I kissed her and said, “Thank you for making my dreams come true.”
She smiled, and said, “Well, get to it,” as she patted me on the shoulder.
I dove in and a few minutes later she was calling out my name while having a powerful orgasm. I kissed the inside of her thighs as she recovered. “OK. Enough,” she said.
I was the one who said, “Thank you.”
My wife is in her element this weekend. She is hosting a group of strong women for a weekend of girls’ fun.
The weekend kicked off when her oldest daughter came out to our house last night. The three of us met my wife’s best friend at a hip new hang-out in town. It was a beautiful, outdoor location. We ordered appetizers and drinks. $500 later, I picked up the tab for everyone. Today, they are going to a local craft and antique fair for the day. When the fair is over, the ladies will return to our house where I am expected to make them dinner and serve them cocktails.
The group of women will be made up of three highly trained government agents, including my stepdaughter, my wife’s best friend, who is a former Air Force fighter pilot, and my wife, who is the leader of the gang.
She was in “dominant mode” last night, ordering for the group at the bar. When we got home and she came to bed, she stripped down her bare skin and crawled under the covers beside me. Even though I knew she was very tired after an extremely long week, I wondered if she was feeling frisky. I learned that she had no plans to do anything more than wind me up by snuggling up to me with her naked body. She was quickly asleep with her head on my shoulder.
Being the alpha woman always makes her feel good. So, I asked myself whether she would be of a mind to have me service her in the morning. I decided I had better be prepared, so I closed my book, turned out the light, and went to sleep myself.
I was right to suspect she might be in the mood to spread her wings this morning. She woke me up at 6 AM by pulling me into a spooning position, with me as the little spoon, and fondling my man parts. As soon as I was awake, she gave me a test of my place in our FLR. She told me she was getting up to make coffee.
Of course, I immediately responded, “But that’s my job to do for you, my Queen.”
She replied, “Then get to it! I want coffee.”
Because her daughter is in the house, I put on clothes to make myself decent. I went downstairs to make her a steaming cup of coffee with Bailey’s Irish Cream. Soon, I returned with 2 cups and climb back into bed next to her. As she sipped her morning brew, she went through a list of things that were on her mind for me to deal with. After she offloaded her thoughts, she began to kiss me. My wife loves to make out. I have learned that she gets great pleasure from kissing and caressing. I have also learned not to initiate any other activity, or even assume that any other activity will occur until she directs it.
After 15 or 20 minutes of passionate kissing, she pushed me onto my back and stroked me to a full erection. Then she began to roll on top of me in a dominant position, I wondered if I was in for a session of being ridden by my wild cowgirl. But I was mistaken. She kept going and crawled to the head of her bed and gave me a kiss with her nether lips. She knows how I love it when she queens me, so she ground her already wet pussy all over my face. Just as I began hearing low moans coming from her mouth, she climbed off my face and returned to my side to resume stroking me. She looked me lovingly in the eyes and brought my erection to a raging status.
Then she said something I did not expect. “Just relax and let yourself go,” she said. She knows that I am incapable of coming until she has had her release, so I knew that she wasn’t planning on giving me a mind-blowing orgasm without taking one herself. I knew she wanted to get behind the wheel of her race car, go as fast as possible, and drive me as close to the wall as she could get it without causing a wreck. She wanted to make it as hard as she possibly could for me to hold back.
As if to confirm my thinking, she said “I have no intention of making you come.”
I let out a wince and a sigh.
As suddenly as she started, she stopped and rolled onto her back, spreading her legs. “ Now it’s my turn. I want you to tease me,” she said.
“Oh,” I said, “You want me to wind you up, too?”
“Yes. I want us both horny all day,” she replied.
The idea of being teased had made her incredibly hot. I crawled down between her legs to find her dripping with anticipation. I licked her for no more than 30 seconds before she warned me that she was close. Seeing a chance to show her the exquisite tension she regularly provides to me, I pushed her right up to the edge but stopped as soon as I could sense that her orgasm was imminent. While she gasped for air, I climbed back up to her side. I gave her a few moments to calm down and began touching her with my fingers.
I brought her to the edge three or four times, and she instructed, “Get inside of me!”
I climbed on top of her and teased her clit with my rock-hard cock. Between her flood of pussy juice and the pre-cum freely flowing from my dick, it was a slippery mess. She was on the edge of orgasm again very quickly. She grabbed my ass with both hands and pulled me deep inside her. Knowing that she was close to the edge, I fucked her with a slow, grinding motion in order to tease out her pleasure. She got hotter and hotter and was soon right at the edge of orgasm again.
“Pull out,” she ordered. “I am very, very close,” she said between gasps for air.
I did as she instructed and took her back into my arms to kiss her. I returned my fingers between her legs. I cannot remember a time that she has ever been more wet. I started driving hard to take her to the edge. She grabbed my head firmly in her hands to look me straight in the eyes. She said, “I’ve changed my mind. Make me come!” I smiled because my efforts were having the desired effect. I pushed her right to the edge and instantly pulled my hand away and moved it to her breast.
Coyly, I kissed her and told her, “I don’t know what to do. On the one hand, you have ordered me to tease you. But, on the other hand, you have told me to make you come. Which order am I supposed to follow?” I asked.
She let out a sigh and closed her eyes. After ten seconds she said, “No. I want to wait. I want to feel like I make you feel all day.”
“I thought it would be safer to follow your first order,” I said. Then I brought her to the edge with my fingers one more time.
“No, I have changed my mind,” she said. Make me cum!”
“If you want to do this again, you are going to have to be clearer before we start,” I said. “I could get in trouble if I don’t follow the right direction."
She pushed me onto my back again determined to give me a taste of my own medicine.
She teased me mercilessly and repeatedly brought me to the edge. She gave me a taste of my own medicine and forced me to beg her to let me cum.
“So, you want to come?” she asked.
“Desperately,” I said. But I swallowed hard and said, “But I won’t cum until you have cum first.”
“Oh,” she said as she stroked me hard. “Don’t you want permission to come?” she asked.
“Yes, I want to cum. Desperately. I want to cum so bad,” I said.
"Yes, I want to come. Desperately. I want to cum so bad,” I said. “I’m so close! This is excruciating pleasure.”
She smiled from ear to ear and gave me one more firm stroke. It was just enough to tip the scales. Immediately, she removed her hand and ruined me. A small dribble of cum dripped from the head of my penis onto my belly. After I had recovered my composure, she brought me to the edge three more times and finally stopped. I was almost insane with arousal.
Before she could announce that our session was over, I climbed back on top of her and buried myself deep inside of her. “I love you more than anyone I have ever loved in my life,” I said. “Thank you for making my dreams come true.” I ground my hips slowly bringing us both to the edge simultaneously. With all the strength I could muster, I pulled out and left us both desperate.
I rolled back to her side as we both tried to catch our breath. It was almost as if we both finished with huge orgasms. We lay in each other’s arms for five minutes without speaking.
Finally, I asked her, “So what’s this about you wanting to be teased?”
“I wanted to see for myself what turns you on so much,” she answered.
This afternoon, I have been free for a few hours to play some golf and go to the shooting club. I went to one of her favorite markets to buy her a special surprise, but I will be sure to be home in time to make dinner for her and her friends. I can’t wait to see how she takes being left high and dry.
We spent those first four years healing from our respective unhealthy first marriages (I had also survived a 27-year marriage with a person who was uninterested in true intimacy), and learning how to be authentically open to each other. As our relationship grew, openness became complete trust, and complete trust became a limitless willingness to be vulnerable to one another.
I've been reading your posts for months now; thank you for taking the time to share! Your experience has similar themes to my own and I've learned so much about myself, and it is gratifying to know other people have followed a similar path. I yearn for that same life changing time as you mentioned in this paragraph, seeking that openness that grows into complete trust ...
Thank you! And unfortunately, life gets in the way and I've run out of time for the moment.