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[Solved] My journey has been accelerating

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subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
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Posted by: @allabouther

And it still feels right for me to ask for permission to cum when the time comes.  

I failed to mention ... every other time in our existence I have been, and still am required to ask for permission EVERY time I ejaculate.  Failure to do so is not an option.  Even if we both know it's going to happen ... I always ask too.

 

 
Posted : 03/08/2022 12:22 am
AllAboutHer
(@allabouther)
Member
Topic starter
 

I swear I make these posts about my fiancé taking another step ahead in our FLR and each time I say to myself, “Well, certainly we are getting to the point where the acceleration is going to start slowing down.  I suspect we are reaching her comfort level and it will probably start becoming more routine.” 

And then we are together again, and, “bang,” another step forward. 

Just last weekend, we hit another milestone when she had me service her without reciprocating.  She had me make her cum with my tongue first and then a second time by hand.  She had me give her two more with slow, passionate PIV sex.  After her first orgasm, I was getting close to the edge.  Since I was not given permission to cum, I had to pull out several times.  One of those times I spilled semen between her legs in a ruined orgasm.  This only made her hotter.  She told me to resume, and I brought her to a second climax while penetrating her.  Then she denied me.  She made me put my erection away in my pants and take her out on the town.  That was just the start to our weekend.  I told her (truthfully) that last weekend was the best sex I have ever had.

Then she came back to my place on Wednesday.  We went to our shooting/fitness/city club for a prime rib dinner.  I surprised her with her engagement ring (the jeweler had finished it sooner than expected).  The owner of the club was so thrilled that I presented it to her there that he bought us a $200 bottle of champagne.  That night, there was snuggling, kissing, and teasing but no orgasms.  The next morning, I was given permission to lick her pussy but not bring her to orgasm.  Last night we got into bed and started with snuggling, talking, and kissing.  Soon she was taking charge. 

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But then, for the first time ever, she went from “in charge” to “dominating.”  She didn’t just tell me what she wanted, she was issuing orders: “I want your fingers.”  “Tongue.”  “Eat me out.”  “Harder!”  “Eat me out!”  “Stop! Get inside me.”  “Take me!”  “Bang me as hard as you can.”  “Stop!”  “Now, use your fingers.”  “Stop, stop! I’m building it!”  “This is going to be big!”  “Again.  Another one!” 

Holy fuck! (pardon my language).  She came so many times and so hard I was amazed.  And of course, the way she dominated me had me harder than a concrete post.

Then she turned her attention to me.  “Jerk off for me.”

I started following her instructions, and asked “How do you want me to jerk off for you?”

“You are not to stop without my permission.  But you may not cum without my permission either,” she said.  She made me edge myself at least five times before she took charge herself.  I lost count of the times she brought me to the edge and stopped.

And THEN . . .

She made me tell her exactly how to perfectly ruin my orgasm.  “I want to bring you as close as possible to the edge without making you cum,” she said.  Then she asked questions about ruined orgasms, “You feel it dribbling?’

“Oh, yes,” I said.

“But no pleasure?  No orgasm?” she asked.

“It feels intense, and it feels great the way you are touching me, but no release.  There is nothing like an orgasm,” I confessed.

Then she proceeded to take me through a number of edges, getting me closer in closer.  She especially enjoyed stopping and feeling the shudders going through my body.  Finally, she got right there to the perfect edge.”

I cried, “Stop, stop, stop, if you want to ruin it!”  She did and we watched as a small stream of cum dribbled from the tip of my cock.

“Ooh, I see!”  she said.

She edged me several more times.  Each time I asked, and eventually started begging, for permission to cum.  Each time she said, “No!”

My submissive nature kicked in hard.  Repeatedly, I pleaded, “Please let me lick you and make you cum again!”

“No.  Its sore.  I’m playing with you now,” she replied.

Finally, she gave me permission and I came in the most intense orgasm of my life.  Bar none.  It went on and on.  I thought I knew what people meant by the term sub-space.  I did not.  Now, I know.

As I came down from my orgasm, she held onto my penis and asked, “Do you know why I liked tonight?”

I suspected, but I wanted to see what she would say.  “Why?” I asked.

“Because I was in control.”  Then, “Do you know why else I like it?”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because you liked me being in control just as much as I did.  Do you think we’ll be doing this the rest of our lives?” she asked.

“Fuck, I hope so.  Until the day we die!” I responded.

There will be no going back from this FLR.  As for going forward, that is without question.  I was the one that led us to starting this journey.  But it is no longer in my hands.  I am just watching in awe as she keeps moving us forward.

 
Posted : 05/08/2022 8:10 pm
subhubphx, true42, killahB and 1 people reacted
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Member
 

@allabouther   Aren't ruined orgasms just the best?  Let's see, you had the one ruined orgasm ("spilled semen between her legs"), which only made you hotter.  For most guys, a full-on orgasm would've prevented the subsequent penetration and denial.  When she made you put your erection away, I'll bet you stayed erect in your pants WAAAAAAAYYY longer than you ever would've after a full-on orgasm.  Her having you tell her how to perfectly ruin your orgasms of course means you are in for many, many more.  That's a good thing.  I happy for you both that you seemed to have embraced ruined orgasms.  

Ruined orgasms turn the average man into a 'multi-cummer'.  One day she wanted to find out exactly how many times, in a row, she could make me ejaculate via a ruined orgasm.  My all-time record is five, with the very last being a full-on orgasm until I almost passed out.  I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack that day.  

"“You are not to stop without my permission.  But you may not cum without my permission either,”"   That's quit the conundrum, isn't it?  Being required to masturbate for my Wife is one of my all-time favorite things.  When I hear similar words from my wife, I pretty much know that she is purposely putting me in a situation that will require a punishment.  Either from not following her instructions (stopping so I don't cum/ejaculate), or from cumming/ejaculating after being specifically told not.  She gets playful like that.  Even though she doesn't need to give a reason to give a spanking, she likes to have a reason, even if that reason is something I cannot control.  Those spankings are less ouchy because she knows why one of her rules was violated.  But ouchy nonetheless.  But still fun.  

"Because I was in control.”  Then, “Do you know why else I like it?”  “Why?” I asked.  “Because you liked me being in control just as much as I did."  It's an amazingly beautiful thing to see the woman you love transition into a blissful existence commensurate with embracing her control on her own.  Beautiful.  Congratulations. 

Oh.  One last thing ... Your little spillage between her legs.  Assuming that was unauthorized, was there a penance to pay for that?  Does she discipline you, or is that on the table?

 

 
Posted : 05/08/2022 10:39 pm
AllAboutHer
(@allabouther)
Member
Topic starter
 

There is lots of grist for the mill in your reply @subhubphx.  Since I always “run long,” let me just respond to your last question and tell you about what is on my mind a lot lately:

Posted by: @subhubphx

Oh.  One last thing ... Your little spillage between her legs.  Assuming that was unauthorized, was there a penance to pay for that?  Does she discipline you, or is that on the table?

I was not disciplined and have never been physically disciplined in the past.  Is it on the table?  I honestly have to tell you, I just don't know.  Here is why.  My fiancé does not think of what we do as “kinky.”  She just thinks it is natural for us.  She has never used the work “kink” to describe our activities.  If we were engaging in “kinks” I      think she would be obligated to confront more inhibitions foisted on her by others/society.  So long as it is just intimacy between us, it helps her avoid the inhibitions.  She doesn’t respect and value the inhibitions, for sure.  She knows they are arbitrary and meant to “keep her in her place,” and she wants to dispose of them.  But, they do exist and she process them out of her life one way or another. Psychologically avoiding them is simple one of her mechanisms to reduce their influence over her.

Here is a list of the bedroom activities that we engage in that I think the average man or woman on the street would describe as kinky.  Mind you, a year ago, my fiancé might have agreed.  I am just saying she doesn’t think of them as kinks today.  Also, because it is relevant, I am going to mention my openness to the activity.  You will quickly see where I am going with this:

Activity

My original attitude

Her original attitude

Our current status

Sex is 100% for her pleasure/on her terms

Open

Open, but resistant

Fully embraced by both of us

She owns all my orgasms/no solo masturbation

Open, but resistant

Open, but highly resistant

Fully embraced by both of us

Cunnilingus on demand

Desired

Open

Fully embraced by both of us

Queening

Desired

Open, but resistant

Fully embraced by both of us

Tease and denial

Open

Open to teasing, but highly resistant to denial

Fully embraced by both of us

Ruined orgasms

Open, but resistant

Open, but resistant

Fully embraced by both of us

Light domination

Open

Open, but resistant

Fully embraced by both of us

But, what about those bedroom activities that we have not yet tried?  Is seems easy to dismiss them as never going to happen.  But when I look back, I am not so sure.  What if my fiancé continues to shed her inhibitions?  Here is a list of bedroom activities that could be “on the table” and are certainly present in other FLRs that are formal to extreme:

Activity

My original attitude

Her original attitude

Our current status

Domestic Discipline

Open, but only if the power turns her on

Possibly open

Mentioned in light-hearted banter

Bondage

Open

Open, but resistant

Mentioned but no follow through yet

Pegging

Open, but only if the power turns her on

Highly resistant to anything involving her back door

Never brought up

Male chastity (I am on the honor system now with no issues)

Open, but only if the power turns her on

Not sure she even knows it is a thing

Never brought up

 

Drinking her golden nectar

Open

Highly resistant

She says, “Gross!”

SPH

Not open to humiliation, maybe some light teasing play in the spirit demonstrating her dominance

I have no idea

Never brought up

Cuckolding

Open, but only because of compersion, if she wanted sex act only with no intimacy ties

She denies any interest in any sex act that is not for intimacy and therefore denies any interest in anyone but me

Mentioned, but immediately rejected

So, there are some things that I am/could be open to that she is, or might be, open to that we have not yet tried.  But, given our history, the fact that it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t seem to mean, in any way, that one or more activities won’t be on the table soon or someday.  It may just mean that the time hasn’t been right to suggest it before now.

Given that I am committed to stopping “topping from the bottom,” there is a whole different angle now.  Now that we have reached our tipping point, and backed off “leading from behind” my first expectation was that we were doing to settle into a routine at our current level of FLR. 

I no longer think that is true.  In the past, I think my fiancé understood at some level that I was introducing us to an FLR (this was explicitly understood) and I think she didn’t feel the need to initiate any progress as I would take care of it and she could just find her comfort level.  But, once I stopped applying forward pressure, instead of coasting to a halt, she seems to have picked up the baton and is pushing us forward on her own.

So, is a paddling on the table?  Who knows?  I’ll tell you when we get there.

I may be wrong, but I really do not see cuckolding in my future.  My fiancé makes it very clear that intimacy is what floats her boat and the only real purpose of sex is to enhance intimacy.  She has rarely even masturbated for her own pleasure.  Neither of us shows any indication of being open to her enhancing intimacy with anybody other than me.  Now, this all may be due to her inhibitions.  As our intimacy progresses it is possible that she may become a more sexual animal independent of the intimacy we have between us.  If she were to evolve that way, and realize that exploring her sexual being makes her feel like a more complete and powerful woman, then I could see myself supporting her having sex with another person out of compersion, so long as I was 100% certain that it would not threaten our intimate relationship.  Frankly, I don’t see how I could ever be that certain, but I do recognize that it is theoretically possible.

Officially, the longest “maybe” on record.

 
Posted : 06/08/2022 8:14 pm
subhubphx reacted
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