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Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
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Posted by: @allabouther

And it still feels right for me to ask for permission to cum when the time comes.  

I failed to mention ... every other time in our existence I have been, and still am required to ask for permission EVERY time I ejaculate.  Failure to do so is not an option.  Even if we both know it's going to happen ... I always ask too.

 

 
Posted : 02/08/2022 5:22 pm
Allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 220
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Topic starter
 

I swear I make these posts about my fiancé taking another step ahead in our FLR and each time I say to myself, “Well, certainly we are getting to the point where the acceleration is going to start slowing down.  I suspect we are reaching her comfort level and it will probably start becoming more routine.” 

And then we are together again, and, “bang,” another step forward. 

Just last weekend, we hit another milestone when she had me service her without reciprocating.  She had me make her cum with my tongue first and then a second time by hand.  She had me give her two more with slow, passionate PIV sex.  After her first orgasm, I was getting close to the edge.  Since I was not given permission to cum, I had to pull out several times.  One of those times I spilled semen between her legs in a ruined orgasm.  This only made her hotter.  She told me to resume, and I brought her to a second climax while penetrating her.  Then she denied me.  She made me put my erection away in my pants and take her out on the town.  That was just the start to our weekend.  I told her (truthfully) that last weekend was the best sex I have ever had.

Then she came back to my place on Wednesday.  We went to our shooting/fitness/city club for a prime rib dinner.  I surprised her with her engagement ring (the jeweler had finished it sooner than expected).  The owner of the club was so thrilled that I presented it to her there that he bought us a $200 bottle of champagne.  That night, there was snuggling, kissing, and teasing but no orgasms.  The next morning, I was given permission to lick her pussy but not bring her to orgasm.  Last night we got into bed and started with snuggling, talking, and kissing.  Soon she was taking charge. 

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But then, for the first time ever, she went from “in charge” to “dominating.”  She didn’t just tell me what she wanted, she was issuing orders: “I want your fingers.”  “Tongue.”  “Eat me out.”  “Harder!”  “Eat me out!”  “Stop! Get inside me.”  “Take me!”  “Bang me as hard as you can.”  “Stop!”  “Now, use your fingers.”  “Stop, stop! I’m building it!”  “This is going to be big!”  “Again.  Another one!” 

Holy fuck! (pardon my language).  She came so many times and so hard I was amazed.  And of course, the way she dominated me had me harder than a concrete post.

Then she turned her attention to me.  “Jerk off for me.”

I started following her instructions, and asked “How do you want me to jerk off for you?”

“You are not to stop without my permission.  But you may not cum without my permission either,” she said.  She made me edge myself at least five times before she took charge herself.  I lost count of the times she brought me to the edge and stopped.

And THEN . . .

She made me tell her exactly how to perfectly ruin my orgasm.  “I want to bring you as close as possible to the edge without making you cum,” she said.  Then she asked questions about ruined orgasms, “You feel it dribbling?’

“Oh, yes,” I said.

“But no pleasure?  No orgasm?” she asked.

“It feels intense, and it feels great the way you are touching me, but no release.  There is nothing like an orgasm,” I confessed.

Then she proceeded to take me through a number of edges, getting me closer in closer.  She especially enjoyed stopping and feeling the shudders going through my body.  Finally, she got right there to the perfect edge.”

I cried, “Stop, stop, stop, if you want to ruin it!”  She did and we watched as a small stream of cum dribbled from the tip of my cock.

“Ooh, I see!”  she said.

She edged me several more times.  Each time I asked, and eventually started begging, for permission to cum.  Each time she said, “No!”

My submissive nature kicked in hard.  Repeatedly, I pleaded, “Please let me lick you and make you cum again!”

“No.  Its sore.  I’m playing with you now,” she replied.

Finally, she gave me permission and I came in the most intense orgasm of my life.  Bar none.  It went on and on.  I thought I knew what people meant by the term sub-space.  I did not.  Now, I know.

As I came down from my orgasm, she held onto my penis and asked, “Do you know why I liked tonight?”

I suspected, but I wanted to see what she would say.  “Why?” I asked.

“Because I was in control.”  Then, “Do you know why else I like it?”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because you liked me being in control just as much as I did.  Do you think we’ll be doing this the rest of our lives?” she asked.

“Fuck, I hope so.  Until the day we die!” I responded.

There will be no going back from this FLR.  As for going forward, that is without question.  I was the one that led us to starting this journey.  But it is no longer in my hands.  I am just watching in awe as she keeps moving us forward.

 
Posted : 05/08/2022 1:10 pm
true42, killahB, subhubphx and 1 people reacted
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
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@allabouther   Aren't ruined orgasms just the best?  Let's see, you had the one ruined orgasm ("spilled semen between her legs"), which only made you hotter.  For most guys, a full-on orgasm would've prevented the subsequent penetration and denial.  When she made you put your erection away, I'll bet you stayed erect in your pants WAAAAAAAYYY longer than you ever would've after a full-on orgasm.  Her having you tell her how to perfectly ruin your orgasms of course means you are in for many, many more.  That's a good thing.  I happy for you both that you seemed to have embraced ruined orgasms.  

Ruined orgasms turn the average man into a 'multi-cummer'.  One day she wanted to find out exactly how many times, in a row, she could make me ejaculate via a ruined orgasm.  My all-time record is five, with the very last being a full-on orgasm until I almost passed out.  I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack that day.  

"“You are not to stop without my permission.  But you may not cum without my permission either,”"   That's quit the conundrum, isn't it?  Being required to masturbate for my Wife is one of my all-time favorite things.  When I hear similar words from my wife, I pretty much know that she is purposely putting me in a situation that will require a punishment.  Either from not following her instructions (stopping so I don't cum/ejaculate), or from cumming/ejaculating after being specifically told not.  She gets playful like that.  Even though she doesn't need to give a reason to give a spanking, she likes to have a reason, even if that reason is something I cannot control.  Those spankings are less ouchy because she knows why one of her rules was violated.  But ouchy nonetheless.  But still fun.  

"Because I was in control.”  Then, “Do you know why else I like it?”  “Why?” I asked.  “Because you liked me being in control just as much as I did."  It's an amazingly beautiful thing to see the woman you love transition into a blissful existence commensurate with embracing her control on her own.  Beautiful.  Congratulations. 

Oh.  One last thing ... Your little spillage between her legs.  Assuming that was unauthorized, was there a penance to pay for that?  Does she discipline you, or is that on the table?

 

 
Posted : 05/08/2022 3:39 pm
Allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 220
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Topic starter
 

There is lots of grist for the mill in your reply @subhubphx.  Since I always “run long,” let me just respond to your last question and tell you about what is on my mind a lot lately:

Posted by: @subhubphx

Oh.  One last thing ... Your little spillage between her legs.  Assuming that was unauthorized, was there a penance to pay for that?  Does she discipline you, or is that on the table?

I was not disciplined and have never been physically disciplined in the past.  Is it on the table?  I honestly have to tell you, I just don't know.  Here is why.  My fiancé does not think of what we do as “kinky.”  She just thinks it is natural for us.  She has never used the work “kink” to describe our activities.  If we were engaging in “kinks” I      think she would be obligated to confront more inhibitions foisted on her by others/society.  So long as it is just intimacy between us, it helps her avoid the inhibitions.  She doesn’t respect and value the inhibitions, for sure.  She knows they are arbitrary and meant to “keep her in her place,” and she wants to dispose of them.  But, they do exist and she process them out of her life one way or another. Psychologically avoiding them is simple one of her mechanisms to reduce their influence over her.

Here is a list of the bedroom activities that we engage in that I think the average man or woman on the street would describe as kinky.  Mind you, a year ago, my fiancé might have agreed.  I am just saying she doesn’t think of them as kinks today.  Also, because it is relevant, I am going to mention my openness to the activity.  You will quickly see where I am going with this:

Activity

My original attitude

Her original attitude

Our current status

Sex is 100% for her pleasure/on her terms

Open

Open, but resistant

Fully embraced by both of us

She owns all my orgasms/no solo masturbation

Open, but resistant

Open, but highly resistant

Fully embraced by both of us

Cunnilingus on demand

Desired

Open

Fully embraced by both of us

Queening

Desired

Open, but resistant

Fully embraced by both of us

Tease and denial

Open

Open to teasing, but highly resistant to denial

Fully embraced by both of us

Ruined orgasms

Open, but resistant

Open, but resistant

Fully embraced by both of us

Light domination

Open

Open, but resistant

Fully embraced by both of us

But, what about those bedroom activities that we have not yet tried?  Is seems easy to dismiss them as never going to happen.  But when I look back, I am not so sure.  What if my fiancé continues to shed her inhibitions?  Here is a list of bedroom activities that could be “on the table” and are certainly present in other FLRs that are formal to extreme:

Activity

My original attitude

Her original attitude

Our current status

Domestic Discipline

Open, but only if the power turns her on

Possibly open

Mentioned in light-hearted banter

Bondage

Open

Open, but resistant

Mentioned but no follow through yet

Pegging

Open, but only if the power turns her on

Highly resistant to anything involving her back door

Never brought up

Male chastity (I am on the honor system now with no issues)

Open, but only if the power turns her on

Not sure she even knows it is a thing

Never brought up

 

Drinking her golden nectar

Open

Highly resistant

She says, “Gross!”

SPH

Not open to humiliation, maybe some light teasing play in the spirit demonstrating her dominance

I have no idea

Never brought up

Cuckolding

Open, but only because of compersion, if she wanted sex act only with no intimacy ties

She denies any interest in any sex act that is not for intimacy and therefore denies any interest in anyone but me

Mentioned, but immediately rejected

So, there are some things that I am/could be open to that she is, or might be, open to that we have not yet tried.  But, given our history, the fact that it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t seem to mean, in any way, that one or more activities won’t be on the table soon or someday.  It may just mean that the time hasn’t been right to suggest it before now.

Given that I am committed to stopping “topping from the bottom,” there is a whole different angle now.  Now that we have reached our tipping point, and backed off “leading from behind” my first expectation was that we were doing to settle into a routine at our current level of FLR. 

I no longer think that is true.  In the past, I think my fiancé understood at some level that I was introducing us to an FLR (this was explicitly understood) and I think she didn’t feel the need to initiate any progress as I would take care of it and she could just find her comfort level.  But, once I stopped applying forward pressure, instead of coasting to a halt, she seems to have picked up the baton and is pushing us forward on her own.

So, is a paddling on the table?  Who knows?  I’ll tell you when we get there.

I may be wrong, but I really do not see cuckolding in my future.  My fiancé makes it very clear that intimacy is what floats her boat and the only real purpose of sex is to enhance intimacy.  She has rarely even masturbated for her own pleasure.  Neither of us shows any indication of being open to her enhancing intimacy with anybody other than me.  Now, this all may be due to her inhibitions.  As our intimacy progresses it is possible that she may become a more sexual animal independent of the intimacy we have between us.  If she were to evolve that way, and realize that exploring her sexual being makes her feel like a more complete and powerful woman, then I could see myself supporting her having sex with another person out of compersion, so long as I was 100% certain that it would not threaten our intimate relationship.  Frankly, I don’t see how I could ever be that certain, but I do recognize that it is theoretically possible.

Officially, the longest “maybe” on record.

 
Posted : 06/08/2022 1:14 pm
subhubphx reacted
Allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 220
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Topic starter
 

Last week, my fiancé said something to me that made me think the time might be right for me to introduce the idea of chastity to her.  As I have mentioned, she has been pushing ahead in asserting her control recently, although I will acknowledge that she has been doing it very gently and incrementally.  She often acknowledges how much she likes to be in control.  I work very hard to give her 100% of the control in our personal and sexual lives.

She is my right-hand woman at the law firm, and we have been dealing with some big plans and issues recently.  On a particularly busy day recently, she mentioned to me that she wished she was in control of more things at the office.  I just filed the comment away.

Then I had an idea.  If I know she gets off on being in control, and if she would like to have more control at the office (even though we have agreed that I am the alpha when it comes to business), there is a way she could have more control within her personal/sexual sphere even when we are at the office.  She could put me in chastity and hold the key.  It would reinforce her sense of power and she could freely exercise it while we are at the office. 

One night after I had serviced her, but before she had given me permission to cum, I asked her if I could share an idea that I had that I thought might please her.  She said, “Of course.”  I told her I had an idea that might be considered a little kinky but would give her what she had asked for as far as more control at the office.  I shared the idea, and I showed her pictures of the Cobra from the Kink3D website.

As I had feared, she immediately rejected the idea.  In fact, she called it a “bit disturbing” that someone would want to wear such a thing.  I responded that the reason I would be willing to wear one was for her.  I want her to enjoy being in control and increase her power.  I pointed out that it was a way where she could know she was in control even when we are in my “space” in the business world.

She replied that she said what she had said about control at the office simply because she was frustrated with one of the challenges we were facing.   The control she wished she had at the office was not over me, she said.  It was over a third party who we fired but is being very difficult.  She thanked me for the thought, but said, “No, thanks,” to the device.  She returned, directly, to supervising me through a session of masturbation for her.

At least, I have made her aware that modern chastity devices exist for men.  I really don’t think she was aware that such devices are freely available.  But, since I am committed to not topping from the bottom, I won’t bring it up again.  She has told me how she feels.  Perhaps the idea will grow on her as time goes by and she continues to free herself from her inhibitions.  Maybe she will surprise me one day by bringing it up again on her own.

I don’t think she is retreating.  She did tease and deny me this week.  I think chastity was just a bridge too far for her at this stage.  We are heading to the beach for a week alone in a few days.  I am looking forward to the extra time for intimacy between us.  We are going to discuss plans for our wedding and life together.  I can’t wait.  If and when she brings up chastity again, I will let everyone know.

 
Posted : 13/08/2022 10:07 am
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Posts: 1014
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Quite an intro. Welcome!


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Posted : 19/08/2022 12:05 am
Allabouther
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Topic starter
 
Posted by: @evolvingyourman_ivcr4j

Quite an intro. Welcome!

Thanks, Emma.   And thank you for creating such a welcoming place where I can organize and share my thoughts.  The intro you read was from six months ago and so much progress has been made sense then, sometimes I can’t believe it and think it must be a dream.  But. The changes are real and permanent.

Yesterday my fiancé referred to the changes she is going through as her “flowering.”  I asked, “You mean you feel like you are blossoming as a person?”

And she said, “Well, yes.  But I was referring the FLRing that is happening.”she directly associates her personal growth and happiness with the FLR we are creating.

 
Posted : 20/08/2022 9:54 am
Allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 220
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Topic starter
 
Posted by: @evolvingyourman_ivcr4j

Quite an intro. Welcome!

Thanks, Emma.   And thank you for creating such a welcoming place where I can organize and share my thoughts.  The intro you read was from six months ago and so much progress has been made sense then, sometimes I can’t believe it and think it must be a dream.  But. The changes are real and permanent.

Yesterday my fiancé referred to the changes she is going through as her “flowering.”  I asked, “You mean you feel like you are blossoming as a person?”

And she said, “Well, yes.  But I was referring the FLRing that is happening.”she directly associates her personal growth and happiness with the FLR we are creating.

 
Posted : 20/08/2022 9:56 am
Allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 220
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Topic starter
 

Well, that didn’t take long.  My fiancé and I had another discussion about male chastity today.  She did not immediately reject the idea and even admitted she could find it a turn on.

We were relaxing on a beach in the Outer Banks today when my fiancé asked me if I wanted to try some cards from our box of intimacy questions.  I readily agreed.  We hadn’t done any for a while, so we had tucked them in the beach bag just in case we were in the mood.  As always, the questions spurred lots of great conversations.

She drew one for me to answer that was interesting:  “What is something you’d hate to do for real, but you find kinky to think about?”

After my initial effort to introduce male chastity to her a couple of weeks ago fell flat on its face, I decided to leave the subject alone until it naturally came up again.  Because we were already having a very open conversation and because the question was so direct, I didn’t see much risk in raising the topic of male chastity.

So, I answered, “Well, it is not that I’d hate to do it, exactly.  I mean I wouldn’t go out and buy one to wear on my own.  But, I would be open to wearing a chastity cage if it would be something that would heighten your sense of control.  It certainly is kinky and you know I’d consider anything that would give you pleasure.”

“How would it bring me pleasure?” she asked.

“We’ll, we both know how much you love being in control, I think it would pretty much be the ultimate in control.  And you said you’d like to have more control at the office where we are in my “alpha male” space.  It would be a secret thing that only you and I would know about that would give you a constant element of control over me at the office.”

She asked, “How do they work?”  I explained the basics of a ball-trap device with a key.

She didn’t reject the idea, but she did raise objections.  “It would have to be painful!” she said.

“Actually, I have been reading about them, as you know, and I think they can be pretty comfortable.  They’re not like those sharp and rusty things we saw in the torture museum in Europe.  They are specially 3D printed from plastic or made of silicone to be as comfortable as possible. If it was painful, I’d definitely be against it,” I replied.  “I mean they are pretty cheap.  We blow more money on a mediocre meal that we never give a second thought to.  We’d just try it, and if it is not comfortable we say, ‘oh, well’ and just don’t use it”

“It is just keeps you from getting an erection?” She asked.  

I nodded yes.  

“How do you pee?” she asked next.

I answered, “it is made with all kinds of holes so you can pee and to make washing easy.”

“The biggest problem would be having it on at the hospital after a car accident,” she offered.

“I don’t think there are a lot of groin injuries that arise out of car accident,” I said.  “And with things like gender reassignment surgeries and body piercings literally everywhere, I don’t think they’d even bat an eye.”

“I know!” she said.  “I saw a photo of the Governor of NewYork where you could see his pierced nipples through his shirt. They probably see them all the time.”

“I am sure nothing surprises them,” I said.

She shook her head ever so slightly and said, “I don’t know.”

I said, “You can’t honestly tell me that you wouldn’t get off knowing that you had my cock and balls under lock and key as I go around the office.”

 

She looked off into the distance as she thought it over and a wicked smile came over her face.

I laughed and smiled.  “See.  I told you.”

She furrowed her eyebrows and said, “Shut up!  I hate it that you know me so well!”So, how do I play it from here?  She has a birthday in two weeks.  Do I dare getting her one for one of her gifts?   Or, is that pushing too hard?

 

 
Posted : 21/08/2022 9:57 pm
Tincup
(@tincup)
Posts: 130
Member
 
Posted by: @allabouther

Do I dare getting her one for one of her gifts?   Or, is that pushing too hard?

We always walk a fine line when we are pushing each others limits. My best advice is to trust your gut.

 

However, there is one thing you may want to consider. Wouldn't it be so much better and satisfying if she bought you the cage for your birthday or special occasion? How about a wedding gift? For a commitment such as chastity, wouldn't you want her to initiate knowing that she is fully commited and not just trying to please you?

 

I have the same ongoing internal struggle, while trying to push my own relationship boundries with my Goddess.

 
Posted : 22/08/2022 7:12 am
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 915
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@allabouther

Posted by: @allabouther

Do I dare getting her one for one of her gifts?   Or, is that pushing too hard?

 

I think it would be pushing her too hard.  The objections she seems to have are mostly due the logical, unfamiliar things that most vanilla people think of off the bat.  Like I had said before, we tried a cage in the beginning and never really gave it chance.  It was plastic.  It had a tube.  Even though it was a popular model (CB6000), it was incredibly uncomfortable and after just one day, it stunk.  It was not at all easy to clean while wearing it and frankly, getting it on and off for a daily cleaning quickly became too much of a hassle.  It quickly got relegated to being used for punishment purposes only, for when she was especially displeased.  

The we found the Mature Metal Jail Bird and everything changed ... for the waaaay better.  My Wife saw it in some naughty pictures we were looking at together and loved how it looked.  She immediately recognized the open design would be easier to clean, and she felt that it looked comfortable.  Long story short, I ordered one.  When it arrived, I wore it for a day, then two, then ... so on. After wearing it for a week, it was so comfortable it was literally like it wasn't even there, but of course it was.  It was incredibly easy clean while wearing and we have evolved (see what I did there?) to where we are now ... (mostly) permanently wearing it.  

I can tell you that there was and still is, a noticeable difference in my demeanor and attitude when I am wearing it and when I am not.  I can't explain it ... but it's real.

Dude, if it gets that far, I'd recommend a stainless steel cage rather than plastic or silicone.  I would also recommend paying the few extra dollars for a Mature Metal cage because they are so very worth it.  Custom fit and comfortable enough to wear always.  One tip, don't underestimate the importance of properly measuring the size of your twig and berries when ordering.  A cage that is too big and allows the penis room to roam free inside it is way more uncomfortable than a properly sized cage that holds your flaccid penis snuggly.  Not constraining, but snuggly.  


Men Oc Gif
 
Posted : 22/08/2022 10:35 am
Allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 220
Member
Topic starter
 
Posted by: @tincup

Wouldn't it be so much better and satisfying if she bought you the cage for your birthday or special occasion? How about a wedding gift? For a commitment such as chastity, wouldn't you want her to initiate knowing that she is fully commited and not just trying to please you?

Oh yeah, of course.  Waaaaay better and waaaaay more satisfying. I just fret that it may take forever for her to get there on her own.  But, that is the deal I have signed up for - "What she wants at her pace."  I will be content with what I have, and remember that it will be so much better if she is enthusiastic rather than reluctant.

Thanks for the sound advice. 

 
Posted : 22/08/2022 2:49 pm
Tincup
(@tincup)
Posts: 130
Member
 

Patience is always easier for the people on the outside looking in.

 

Patience Grasshopper.

 

 

 
Posted : 22/08/2022 3:05 pm
Allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 220
Member
Topic starter
 
Posted by: @subhubphx

I think it would be pushing her too hard. 

You are certainly right.  I was just so excited at the apparent (albeit slight) change in her mindset that I let my enthusiasm get the better of me.  Once again, the alpha male side of my personality wants to push for the goal line.

I will cool my jets and remember that she is still pushing boundaries with our FLR even though I have totally throttled back my efforts to push.  

One thing I have learned about my fiance is that, because she loves being in control, she takes her time to make important decisions, and once she makes a decision she goes "all in" and isn't easily dissuaded.  

The downside risk of pushing almost certainly outweighs the potential benefits.  If she never gets to accepting chastity on her own, it will never work for us.  On the other hand, if she decides on her own that we should try it, she will do it enthusiastically.

Thanks for the reality check.

As for the Jail Bird, you have to use a padlock, right?  Does it ever make noise?

 
Posted : 22/08/2022 3:07 pm
Subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 915
Member
 
Posted by: @allabouther

I just fret that it may take forever for her to get there on her own.  But, that is the deal I have signed up for - "What she wants at her pace."  I will be content with what I have, and remember that it will be so much better if she is enthusiastic rather than reluctant.

You're doing great.  Find a way to loose the "fret" while also embracing the "content", and allow it to evolve (see what I did there?) into genuine enthusiasm.  It's the hardest part, especially an eager submissive boy.

 
Posted : 22/08/2022 3:08 pm
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