New Relationshps and Orgasms
For the first year of our relationship, I had no problem cumming from sex but now he cant make me cum. After we have sex I use my vibrator to make myself cum or he goes down on me until I cum. I think this is because of the new relationship energy that Emma talks about. Once the energy and the lust goes away, we have a harder time getting aroused for our guys. We had an experiece with another guy but I performed oral on the other guy and stroked him but I wonder if he would have been able to make me cum since i was very aroused having intimacy with a new partner. Who else had orgasms that went away after you got comfortable with your husband?
Once the energy and the lust goes away, we have a harder time getting aroused for our guys.
This isn't always related to losing lust. I got into a similar situation because of the anxiety paradox. Once you worry about orgasm, you can only think of the worry. The more you worry the more difficult it is to orgasm. Start to focus on the journey instead of the destination and you may feel those curtains of anxiety falling around your feet.
BUT familiarity does reduce arousal for both men and women. Men are usually wired for orgasm so it usually isn't as noticeable but the science tells us that he will be much more sexually aroused by a new partner than by you. Not because he doesn't love you but because familiarity kills the novelty. That is one of the reasons porn is so arousing, it is 100% novelty. You've never seen the actors and you have no idea what they will do or say next. You are seeing them disrobe for the first time. You are glancing at their wee wees and hoo haas for the first time. There is also no emotional baggage assocaited with them. You aren't trying to get over resentment because he didn't take out the trash when he said that he would (glaring intently at Kev).
All of that said and done, it does not matter if you get off from sex. You heard me. Enjoy the journey together and forget the destination. Focus on connecting physically and loving openly. Accept that when you have experiences like the one you described from your road trip, the new suitor is nothing more than a living fantasy or physical representation of your erotic energy. They are not a person but an object that the two of you are using as a vehicle for your own connection. Am I telling you to objectify men? Yes. In this situation, I am absolutely.