Where is her joy?
I was going through some old photos and saw some pics of a trip that my wife and I took shortly after we started dating. The photos I found were from the bedroom (no I won't share them) and it was great to see her beautiful body and to see our bodies intertwined in all sorts of ways. The photos made me happy to remember that time together but they made me sad at the same time. Sad because I looked at the smile on her face and I know that she no longer brings that joy to our intimacy or gains that sort of emotional joy from our physical fun together.
I read through a few blogs including this one https://www.evolvingyourman.com/2019/06/16/relationship-at-play/ and I think Emma is right, play keeps a relationship alive. Each time we try something new (pegging, chastity etc) I see a glimmer of the sexual excitement that once charged the smile that I saw on her face.
We've had some challenges with sexual dysfunction which may have created some lasting resentment. https://www.evolvingyourman.com/community/delayed-ejaculation/to-delay-or-not-to-delay-that-is-the-question/
Even if she has forgotten the joy, I want to bring it back to her because her happiness is very important to me. I really want to connect on a sexual level with her but I feel like our sex is mechanical at this point. I wish there was a way to bring the excitement back.
This story warms my heart because her smile is the most value thing that you see from these pictures. You may just need to make her feel sexual energy again. I feel that way when I am in control and in charge. If she lockes up you cock in a cage she can tease you and bring the fun back. Maybe talk to her and see what you can do to make her feel sexual energy. It may not be with you! I get that energy from flirting with other guys and feeling desirable. When you were new relationship she felt desirable to a new person. Feeling pursud and desired by a new person makes you feel important and there is no real substitute. We are easyign our selfes into some fantacies but not all the way at once because its too much all at once.
If she knows your reason is to bring her smile back than maybe she will be more open to being sexually adventures with you. My husband Val is motivated by my happines and I know that. For women security is important so knowing that being more sexually open won't take aware from our security is the complete key. If I feel like my relationship is threat by something like sex there is no way. If I know my relationship is stronger by giving him a fantasy in his reality than we both win together.