Hip hip hurray for the newest contributor.

@lockedforlyn   I appreciate your kind words.  I hope my thoughts and writings here have not offended anyone, especially Miss Emma, because my view of some issues is very different from hers and probably from many others here. 

As I said in one of my posts, I probably will not start any more new posts because I have made my point on the subjects that I thought may be of interest at this site and I do not wish to wear out my welcome. 

I will follow Miss Emma’s blogs (By the way I think you are a week behind Miss Emma.  LOL) because I truly enjoy her style and appreciate her talent.  Based on some comments she has made, I may be reading more into them than she intended to convey.  Or maybe she is subconsciously saying more than she thinks she is. ? There must be a good joke about two psychologists walking into a bar buried here somewhere.  Don’t mind me I am just in very light mood this evening.  D has been mischievous in a very fun way all afternoon. 

As I was saying, I will follow Miss Emma’s blogs and comment on them from time to time, agree or disagree.  I may interject in a forum post now and then if it seems I can add something positive.  

I’d like to add my voice to @lockedforlynn's, and others', who are saying that Mrs. j-k is a great addition to the conversations that occur on this site.  And, of course, we all have to thank Emma for the enormous amount of time, effort, and money she has put into creating this place where we can have those conversations in the first place.  It appears that Emma’s experiment is working, in spades.  The site is becoming an increasing popular place for people to share their journeys, trials, and triumphs.  Mrs. j-k, who has a strong voice, has found the attraction of this community to be compelling.  Winning!

These two ladies, Mrs. j-k and Emma, who appear to command such broad respect from the users here, have some differing views.  Thank God!  The diversity of thought and the ability to express differing views is exactly what creates the stimulating thoughts and growth (hopefully) the rest of us seek.  If only one perspective were permitted, this place would be pretty boring, users would be declining, not growing, and there would be precious little growth going on for any of us.

Communication seems to be the word for the week on these forums.  In that line, I am sure everyone agrees that diverse viewpoints are healthy and divisive comments are destructive.   There is a potential for comments that are intended to only to promote desired diversity to be perceived as divisive because they happen to be made in writing.  We can’t see the expressions in each other’s faces, nor can we hear the tones in each other’s voices.  What user here hasn’t seen an email, or a text message, go completely awry because a pointed statement came across as a judgment or an attempt at sarcastic humor came across as an insult?  Interestingly, my experience is that such miscommunications happen most often when folks are really getting to the heart of a sensitive matter.

I am not calling anybody out, because I don’t think any calling out is appropriate.  I don’t think anyone has intended to be judgmental or insulting.  But, I have seen a couple of turns of phrase recently that I could see might be taken as such someone else who was only sincerely trying to elevate the level of discussion here. 

I have a suggestion that might help us avoid unintentionally putting each other’s noses out of joint.  If you are going to add a pearl of wisdom to the written debate that occurs here, in order to help make sure that the respectful tone that you intend comes through and to make sure that we don’t hurt each other’s feelings or make people feel that they have to be defensive, invest a minute or two to re-read what you are about to post before you his "reply."  Think about the fact that it is going to be read exactly as the words appear and without the benefit of any nonverbal communication to help provide context.  Have you chosen the right words to make your point in the most effective way?  Or, have chosen any words that might inadvertently detract for the point you are actually trying to make?

I hope this comment doesn't come across as preachy.  I am just stating the obvious, that we are all on the same sheet of music here.  We are earnestly trying to learn from one another.  And none of us wants the words that we use to get in the way of the messages we intend to convey.  I am just a lawyer who regularly sees people say things that unintentionally cause problems or, at least, require that the “air be cleared.”  All those problems and air-clearing just gets in the way of a good and constructive back and forth.  Just my 2 cents.

Posted by: @allabouther

We can’t see the expressions in each other’s faces, nor can we hear the tones in each other’s voices.  What user here hasn’t seen an email, or a text message, go completely awry because a pointed statement came across as a judgment or an attempt at sarcastic humor came across as an insult?  Interestingly, my experience is that such miscommunications happen most often when folks are really getting to the heart of a sensitive matter.

I promised to be quiet about communication so I will just say that this is why I hate text messages for anything but saying I'll be home in 10 minutes.  

@allabouther 

Great thoughts here! I am a noob to all this and I appreciate the way in which members express themselve here on this sight. I feel a genuine caring community dynamic that invites open discussion. Nuance seems to be a lost art these days, but not here. I am so glad to have the opportunity to be a part of it!