This is a really good question. Chastity is big in the fetish world and this site proposes a more practical approach to using a tool to manage your relationship. It is true that whomever owns the penis owns the man. If you take ownership of his penis, you take full ownership of decisions in the relationship. I would start with the blog entitled Taking The Reigns and see where that takes you. Only go as far as what you are comfortable with. Once you take him down this rabbit hole, they have a tendency to want to go full BDSM out of frustration. Only let it go as far as you want it to. After all, you are in charge.
Which parts of chastity are fact and which parts are fantasy?