Introductory guide for bulls

So, you’ve thought about being a “Bull,” and now you’ve found that perfect couple. She’s a cuckoldress looking for a regular lover or two. He’s a cuckold, and he’s willing to step aside and let you and his wife become lovers.

Now what? How do you approach this?

Now here is where the men get separated from the boys. I have real experience with this as I have lived in a cuckold dynamic for eight years with my husband. I have seen the best and the worst of both people and experiences. I’ve also written and talked with others in this lifestyle extensively. So I thought it might be helpful to understand your role in this dynamic, according to quality and experienced people.

Most young and single guys are pretty clueless when it comes to being a real “Bull” in a cuckold-cuckoldress relationship. They think being a Bull is permission to fuck someone’s wife. Nothing could be further from the truth, in my opinion, which is why most fail miserably.

What aspiring bulls need to understand is that it is a THREE-WAY RELATIONSHIP. It is more complex than a normal relationship because it involves THREE people, not two.

“But wait,” you say. “I only want to fuck someone’s wife. I don’t need a relationship with her husband”. WRONG! You fail. Go back to AFF or Tinder and start looking for single chicks because you will not be successful in this dynamic.

But if you want to learn something that could lead to a higher quality, more satisfying, and intimate sex life than chasing 20-something, needy women who have no idea what they want, then do read on.

Being a Bull means you are being invited into an existing marital relationship. Before you even show up at the door, understand that the couple has already discussed what they want long before reaching out for someone like you. So your first job is to find out exactly what they want and then FIT INTO that. Understand being invited into a marriage as a 3rd party is a sacred privilege. It is not easy to come by, and it is very easy to lose.

To ensure you have the best experience, following a particular protocol to establish a new three-way relationship is advisable. This is a subtle but important distinction, especially if you have been a “swinger” before. There is a more significant expectation in that lifestyle that people hook up very casually and don’t typically get involved with play partners. Also, in the swinger dynamic, both husband and wife may be playing. In a cuck relationship, only the wife plays, with careful communication with her husband. So your responsibility is more significant to pay attention to how you may enhance the relationship.

One word of advice: no matter what you expect the relationship to become later, you should be a complete gentleman at all times, especially during the first meeting or two. Until you get some signal from the couple, you should NOT initiate anything sexual. Instead, wait for a sign or specific permission to proceed after you have a good understanding of the kind of experience the couple wants. Even if things progress into the bedroom during the second (or even first) meeting, you should go slowly and not overwhelm them.

The perfect relationship WILL NOT happen instantly. It takes an investment of time by everyone, INCLUDING YOU. I’ve been astounded so often that a bull is unwilling to put ANY effort into getting acquainted, learning likes and dislikes, and discussing common goals.

Like any relationship, learning the needs and desires of the other person is a process. As you learn the couple, and they learn you, the relationship becomes more comfortable, and the sex gets better. Finally, you have a good shot at building a quality connection. It will become what you/they envision, but only if everyone works together.

Now, let’s start with “what everyone wants.” There are many variations of cuckold/Hotwife play. Communication is the key to getting a clear picture of the desired relationship. There are many studies and theories on the motivations for the Hotwife-cuckold lifestyle among otherwise monogamous couples. You may want to read up on it to understand better why she wants to fuck someone else and why he wants her to do so. It is both fascinating and erotic reading. The better educated you are, the better your experience can be. I recommend Dr. David Ley’s book: “Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and The Men Who Love Them” A sex expert psychologist team heavily researched this book. It can blow up many ideas you may have about women’s sexuality and cuckolding throughout history.

The most common underlying theme for most Hotwife/cuckold couples is for the Bull to become the sex partner of choice for the wife. This can range from seeing him occasionally up to daily sexual encounters. Every couple has a different idea, and it’s essential to know their expectations. This approach has equal benefits for you. Neither party wants to waste time building something with people who do not want what you want, so be straightforward and communicate!

I would also say to be very clear on your time availability and the courage, to be honest about it. So many “bulls” expect this all to happen and put very little thought into what it will take. Relationships of all types require an investment of time and effort. Be realistic with your own life and schedule before approaching a cuck couple. I’ve had countless bulls approach me who are happy to tell me what they think I want to hear instead of being honest about what they can and cannot do.

This is the most important element of all: self awareness and honesty. It’s ok to want what you want, but not ok not to be honest about it. In my experience, too many bulls will master telling you what they think you want to hear so as not to disrupt their chance and fucking you. That is unethical and leaves negative feelings. When you misrepresent what you want and what your availability is, you deprive the other person of the opportunity to “opt-out” if it is different than what they want. You will never succeed doing this. We figure it out quickly. So be honest and authentic: your chances of finding someone who also is authentic rise proportionately.

Keep in mind that cuck and bull mistakes drive good men and women (and couples) out of the lifestyle. It becomes too tiresome to get to know people who don’t know themselves. If you think finding a good cuckoldress is hard now, it will be many times harder if you drive women and couples out because of rookie mistakes.

In addition, “real life” can and does often restrict or interfere with the scheduling of playtimes.

As a Bull, it’s essential to realize that you’re dealing with a married couple with job(s), a family, social obligations, perhaps children, etc. There will be times when play will need to be canceled or postponed because of the realities of life. It would be best to be sensitive to that and never become angry about last-minute changes, cancellations, etc. Instead, be understanding about these setbacks, and you’ll be rewarded with a more appreciative and willing wife!

Once you establish everyone’s expectations about frequency, another thing to discuss is how the meetings are orchestrated. Some prefer regular schedules, i.e., every Saturday night, for instance. Others like more flexibility and even spontaneous meetings. Some of the hottest experiences I’ve had have been random texts that resulted in late-night, last-minute encounters (“thinking about you, can I come over?

It’s important to know what the couple enjoys. In our dynamic, I have absolute freedom to engage and entertain a bull however and whenever I choose. Not every marital couple has that agreement so make sure you do not make assumptions.

Many couples enjoy some level of sexual denial for the husband. For example, some want to limit intercourse for several days before the wife plans to meet with the Bull. Others go so far as limiting the husband to handjobs, blowjobs, etc., during the entire time that the wife is seeing another man.

Tease/denial and verbal humiliation can be a fun area for the Bull to participate, perhaps demanding that the wife refrains from fucking her husband before their dates, etc. The Bull may even get enjoyment from voicing his demands to the husband in the wife’s presence (i.e., I don’t want you fucking her until I do her Friday night). Other couples do not want the Bull to do any part of humiliation, so communicate!

Another area to discuss upfront is your communication with the wife. Some couples prefer that the husband coordinate meetings between his wife and the Bull. In other couples, the wife has absolute freedom, and she can call, email, text, etc. These are by far the easiest and hottest arrangements, as you can tease, flirt and engage the wife 1-on-1 with complete privacy. We do both: establish communication between Bull and Husband, and I communicate as I choose.

Next, you should discuss what the couple expects when alone with the wife. For example, some couples only play together. Play can range from MFM threesomes to the cuckold husband merely being present and watching. Other teams prefer that the husband is on the premises, but not necessarily in the same room, such as waiting in the living room or the guest bedroom, perhaps listening in, etc.

The cuck may be open to “fluff” the Bull and clean up after. If you are highly offended by male/male touching, make it clear before you ever engage. This gives the couple a chance to opt-out if they seek someone open to that. For many cucks, this is not bisexual interest. Instead, it is a form of erotic humiliation: to surrender to another man in this way is a huge trigger for many cucks and a big part of the pleasure they get from it.

Many couples enjoy the wife going out alone on “dates” with the Bull. It’s not uncommon for the husband to help the wife prepare for her dates, often helping her bathe, do her hair, shave her legs and pussy, pick out sexy clothes and help her dress. I love being out in public alone with a Bull or with the three of us together.

Some Bulls take advantage of this by contacting the husband before the date and dictating what he wants the wife to wear, and the husband will select those items for his wife. Additionally, some bulls may call the husband while having sex and let him listen in or videotape themselves having sex so the wife can show it to the cuckold-husband later.

Some couples enjoy overnight encounters. There are many possibilities here, including the wife spending the night at the Bull’s home, the Bull spending the night at the couple’s home, or even an overnight hotel stay. Some also enjoy the wife and Bull going together for out-of-town trips, short cruises, etc.

Never forget this is a married couple with a strong emotional bond. A strong emotional bond is required to include a third person in their relationship. If you try to weaken their emotional bond, insecurities and jealousy will emerge and ruin everything. If the three of you, in time, decide to have more of a “poly” dynamic…it will evolve with communication and agreement. Until then, never try to wedge yourself inside of the marital relationship.

However, their sexual bond is entirely different. Not only CAN you break that bond, but you MUST also break it. Your goal is breaking their sexual bond and then bonding sexually with the wife. When it comes to sex, you want her to think of you.

Your key to success is: befriending her husband. That’s right. He needs to become your buddy. Your friendship should involve some light male bonding, such as watching a few ball games, drinking some beer together, a fishing trip, whatever. In addition, the first time you are together with the couple, you need to play the role of a buddy with the husband (even if you’ve already started having sex with the wife).

After all, you and he are on the same team, and this cuck husband is your greatest ally. You want to take his wife away, sexually speaking. He wants the same thing because, more than anything, he wants to see her become an insatiable slut again as well as seeing her happy. He knows she needs someone new to do that. So make him a friend and keep him a friend. There WILL come times when you’re trying to persuade the wife to do something, and having her husband as an ally can be very helpful!

Think about it this way: who better to tell you what thrills her? What she responds to? What turns her off? If you aren’t carefully fostering this bond with the husband you will miss a great deal of success as a bull.

In conclusion, developing yourself as a Bull and establishing a relationship with a couple is very much like dating while single. It requires all the elements of finding a primary partner and then some. It requires even more. Deep self-knowledge, the ability to be completely honest and transparent, and a skilled communicator will get the job done.

Here is a checklist as you get started and increase your chances of success:

• KNOW YOURSELF and be committed to your growth and communication abilities
• Do NOT make any assumptions, about anything. ASK
• Be genuinely curious about the couple you seek and understand their relationship as much as possible.
• GO SLOW
• Get in the habit of communicating preferences and boundaries well in advance of an encounter and after. What worked? What would you change?
• Begin to make a friend and ally of the husband from the first conversation onward
• COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE

Here’s to your great success as a bull and an exhilarating lifestyle choice!