Divorced wife who wish I’d discovered this first time round

Hi there! I’ll try to make this succinct as I’m only now discovering the wealth of advice and topics on this site.

I got out of a bad marriage two years back. I had worked hard to rise in my career but my husband resented me earning more and became very lazy. In the divorce he tried to take everything I’d built and I was fortunate to have an awesome friend and lawyer and thanks to her I was able to keep most of what is mine.

After such a controlling and resentful husband, I found it hard trusting guys from dates. I happened to get into a relationship with a younger man who seemed to be enamoured with my relative career success without resenting me for it. I thought nothing of this other than it was a welcome change but you more experienced folk on this site could have probably saw the signals from this.

I have a lot of feminist books at home and he seemed very intrigued about these too, asking me questions and also was keen to hear about my attitude as a line manager over several male subordinates. Again I didn’t think there was anything ‘kinky’ in his apparent enthusiasm to idolize me as what he quipped was an ‘alpha boss’ (hence my profile name here).

Then I found something on his laptop which sparked the path to me being here. It was something called cfnm porn. He had tons of videos and images of it. Much of it depicting women in positions of authority embarrassing naked men. I confronted him and he assured me this wasn’t a gay thing, it was about the humiliation and power reversal. After I realised this wasn’t a threat to out relationship I began to question him about it.

I found it rather cute and amusing seeing him blush. I’d act naïve and make him explain these cfnm scenarios to me. He frequently brought up the office scenarios with female bosses and I started teasing him about me being such an ‘alpha boss’. When he heard me and some girlfriends had been to a birthday party where there was a male stripper, he was desperate to hear the juicy details. Eventually he admitted he was a 'female supremacist' and could not resist this urge to see women triumph over men.

Ok so fast forward and over time we discovered the term ‘FLR.’ Or rather he brought it up. This seemed ideal for me given my imperative to not lose control of my life like in my marriage. My only reservation was would I find the power too alluring and turn nasty towards him.

So we’ve taken it slow but now (seven months in) we’re both finding it intoxicating and creatively very fun. I can go into details later if people like but the main tenets of it so far are my financial control and him taking the responsibility for all chores in my apartment. As we’re now looking into a new place together for the first time, I started searching for FLR advice about this and discover this treasure trove of a site!

So in addition to these (moving in together, financial control, more formal domestic chores arrangement) I’m intrigued at putting him into chastity. He enjoys the fantasy of it but is scared of the reality and I haven’t yet had the bandwith to really pursue it with him. I'm also keen to help teach him something I found on here about his main focus to be a service to building our relationship, that him serving strengthens it.

Anyways that’s enough rambling, happy to meet you all and hopefully learn!