Frustration

Ah, the other F-word! Frustration. The problem is us males masturbate frantically from early teens (or sooner) with no real purpose. As a male I will defer to the ladies here to advise on strategies. My own transition was motivated by my internal realisation that the woman I was with was the centre of my world and that I was on this earth to adore and serve her. My own gratification is through her gratification and I no longer masturbate. She may tease me occasionally but it only wastes time when I should be attending to her needs.

Posted by: @san123

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Hi, I (35) have a new boyfriend (22). He masturbates quite a lot, I think, and he usually doesn't last long. He likes everything fast and intense.

I played edging games before - not orgasm denial. I'm trying these games to help my boyfriend control his desire and his need to cum. I started by masturbating him very slowly, with low pressure. At first he enjoyed it, but after a few minutes -less than 5- he wanted me to do it harder and faster. I kept doing it slowly, stopping to caress other parts of his body... At some point, he started masturbating himself. I tried to make him stop and let me continue, but he kept doing it. He really needed more stimulation, he could not stand being aroused and not having release. He is a bit shy, he didn't want to show he needed that, but in the end he recognised he needed more intensity.

 

Yesterday I told him we were going to play a little bit. I tied him -hands and feet- in a way he could not touch himself. I told him that I wanted him to have more self control and that I wanted to find out his limits. He agreed. I started to caress his body and then I masturbated him slowly. I stopped now and then. He was really aroused, he couldn't stop moving his body, looking for more. He asked for more pressure. I told him to relax and breathe. I kept massaging him slowly, touching his most sensitive parts. He told me to untie him, he wanted to touch himself, he was really frustrated. I stopped and told him to relax, to feel the pleasure... He kept moving himself. looking for stimulation. Then he started feeling angry, he started trying to touch himself, he was angry at me. I asked him how he felt. He didn't want to recognise his frustration and his anger, but it was obvious. I talked to him calmly. I told him I wanted him to relax before I untied him. I made him breathe slowly for 5 minutes before I untied him. While he breathed, I kept my hand covering his penis, without moving it. Then I untied him and we had sex. He did it with intensity, not stopping at all. He got an orgasm really fast. After that, he relaxed and was in a good mood.

 

We talked about that. He was shy to talk about the frustration he felt. I didn't keep asking.

How can I help him have more self control? How can I help him when he is frustrated? Should I make him talk about his feelings while I stimulate him or afterwards? Should I stop and have normal sex when he starts getting angry or should I keep stimulating him to help him get used to this frustration? I think I should give him an orgasm as a reward when he cooperates. Should I deny him if he doesn't cooperate?

I think I can convince him to let me tie him and have slow sex, but I don't know how to help him when he starts feeling frustration.

 

Thanks

I'll try to answer your question:

Q: How can I help him have more self control?

A: IMHO, a locking chastity device is a great tool for this. Lock him up, and begin training him into GRADUALLY longer periods of enforced chastity. When he begins to complain about sexual frustration (and he will) explain that he needs to learn to control himself. Be steadfast if he begins to whine, complain or get angry. When his release date arrives take him to bed, restrain his hands, remove the cage and allow him to orgasm (woman on top is the best way to do this, so YOU control the action) This process will take time, but eventually he's learn more control, and begin to accept your authority. 

Breaking a man into a chastity cage is much the same as breaking a wild, unruly stallion into a riding saddle. Once done, he'll exercise more self control and be more respectful of you! 

P.S. Teasing (though optional) is encouraged here. Wearing suggestive clothes while he's locked is always a good idea. (See suggested link below.) 

Hi,

Thank you for the advice.

Dou you think I should lock him up with no previous training? I mean, shouldn't I start by edging him? I was thimkking of edgging him for longer and longer periods of time. He starts getting frustrated after 15 minutes, maybe even less. He is used to masturbating hard and fast.

If I lock him up, will he have problems when having a shower? Is that hygienic? Will it be painful? Will it prevent him from being aroused or have erections? I've never tried that.

How can I help him when he is feeling frustrated and when he needs an orgasm? I know I need to be steadfast, but should I act as if I haven't noticed his frustration? Should I try to make him express his feelings? Should I stop and allow him to relax or should I keep teasing him? And most important, should I give him an orgasm as a reward or should I train him to hold it from the beginning?

I don't want him to suffer or to feel frustrated, but I really need he needs some training. He is really fast, he has no self control and he won't tru to last longer if I don't force it a bit. He understands he is too fast. I made him talk about that. He gets shy and embarrassed when I talk about that. He doesn't open up much when I ask him about his sexual issues or needs. But he agrees that he need to change.

I also wanted to know if I could have normal sex with him while I train him. I mean, sometimes edging and training and sometimes normal sex and pleasure with no restrictions.

All I can gather from your description is that your boyfriend is extremely impatient, uncontrolled and, above all, selfish.
His orgasm? Now, fast, hard. Your orgasm? Not important. His mood? Good when he gets what he wants, bad when he doesn't. Your mood? Not important.
You only ever ask what you could, should, must do. You're already doing a lot more than most partners would do. And all communication seems to be limited to him being the "shy victim" and you being his personal therapist.
You try to please him.

This may all be due to his age, but to me it appears that he shows typical behavioral patterns of an egocentric and sociopath. I can't judge whether this only applies sexually or in other areas as well.

In such constellations it usually boils down to one partner continuing to give in and thus letting the other partner win because everything else you do leads to a separation. Psychopaths cannot be "educated" so easily through conversations and experiments.

Sorry for my harsh words, maybe someone else sees it differently and has a solution for you?

Posted by: @san123

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Hi,

 

Thank you for the advice.

 

Dou you think I should lock him up with no previous training? I mean, shouldn't I start by edging him? I was thimkking of edgging him for longer and longer periods of time. He starts getting frustrated after 15 minutes, maybe even less. He is used to masturbating hard and fast.

 

If I lock him up, will he have problems when having a shower? Is that hygienic? Will it be painful? Will it prevent him from being aroused or have erections? I've never tried that.

 

How can I help him when he is feeling frustrated and when he needs an orgasm? I know I need to be steadfast, but should I act as if I haven't noticed his frustration? Should I try to make him express his feelings? Should I stop and allow him to relax or should I keep teasing him? And most important, should I give him an orgasm as a reward or should I train him to hold it from the beginning?

 

I don't want him to suffer or to feel frustrated, but I really need he needs some training. He is really fast, he has no self control and he won't tru to last longer if I don't force it a bit. He understands he is too fast. I made him talk about that. He gets shy and embarrassed when I talk about that. He doesn't open up much when I ask him about his sexual issues or needs. But he agrees that he need to change.

 

I also wanted to know if I could have normal sex with him while I train him. I mean, sometimes edging and training and sometimes normal sex and pleasure with no restrictions.

san123 - I'll try to answer your questions below:

Q: Do you think I should lock him up with no previous training? A: Yes! The only way he's going to be trained into a chastity cage is to lock him up ASAP with you as the keyholder. Start out with 2-3 days, then gradually increasing to a week and so forth 

Q: I mean, shouldn't I start by edging him? A: Edging his perfectly fine, but make sure to do this with his hands restrained so if he loses control, he'll have no choice but to deal with it. Afterward lock him back in his chastity cage, and hide the key before you release his hands. 

Q: If I lock him up, will he have problems when having a shower? Is that hygienic? Will it be painful? A: The best way to deal with these things is to lock him up, then every day or 2, restrain his hands, unlock the cage inspect his penis for redness or chaffing. If there is none, simply dry and clean his penis and the chastity cage, coat he inside of the cage with skin lotion or baby oil and lock him back up - many women enjoy using this time to edge him with some skin lubrication before locking him back up. 

Q: How can I help him when he is feeling frustrated and when he needs an orgasm? A: Important: He WANTS and orgasm, he does not need one! Don't give in to his begging, the sexual frustration he feels is a result of his masturbation habit, and he needs to be trained to focus his energy on you, and not his right hand. Unlock him only when his scheduled release date has arrived. Teasing him during his lock up periods is something that most lady keyholders do, but that's your choice.  

I don't want him to suffer or to feel frustrated. A: He should suffer and feel frustrated. His selfish masturbation habit has brough him to this point. It's robbed you of his full sexual potential, robbed you of intimacy, robbed him of vital energy he could have used for work, and physical fitness. He is in need of training and correction.

Special Note: Many men (including your boyfriend) secretly want their women to be cock teasers. So enjoy regular sex with your boyfriend - - but this doesn't mean he gets and orgasm every time. 😊  

Yes, he is extremely impatient and maybe a bit selfish, but I like him and I'm sure he likes me.

We talked about his problem and he agreed to cooperate. He said he would let me train him, even if it's a bit uncomfortable for him. He is not very enthusiastic about it, but he agreed to let me be in control.

I bought a chastity cage (a silicone one, soft and big enough). We agreed that he would be locked for two days (last weekend). At first he complained it was uncomfortable, but he accepted it. I didn't tease him but at some point at the end of the first day he started getting really horny. I don't know why, maybe because he knew he could not masturbate and that made him anxious. He told me he wanted sex, I told him to relax. He started complaining he has having an erection, he said he needed to remove the cage. He didn't have the key, so he couldn't. He staarted feeling do desperate. He touched himself, he even tried to "fuck" a cushion. I tried to calm him down, I hugged him, but he needed stimulation down there and he started feeling really frustrated. I suggested a cold shower, but he said no. He felt angry and he asked for the key. I talked to him, tod him to breathe and relax... It was hard for him... When he calmed down we went for a walk. He didn't want to, but I know it helped.

He could not sleep well that night. He told me a few times to unlock him, but I convinced him to keep working on his self control.

The next day I had to unlock him before the agreed time. After lunch he started complaining he felt pain, he han an erection and the cage was too small. He lied on the bed and started fuking the pillow, he could not stop. Every time he got more frustrated. He even undessed himself and started stimulating his anus (outside), which he doesn't usually like. He was angry at me, he asked me to unlock him.

I made him stop and be quiet. I told him I would unlock him if he allowed me to masturbate him, and maybe edge him a bit. He agreed. I unlocked him and started masturbating him, slowly and gently. He needed more. I kept doing it slowly. At some point, maybe after 2 or 3 minures, he started masturbating himself. He was frustrated, he didn't allow me to masturbate him anymore. He cum fast, he didn't last more than 1 minute I think...

I don't think it was too bad for the first time. He learned how it feels to be in chastity an he started giving up control. I need to train him more, help him deal with his frustration.

Any tips? Is an erection in chastity painful or he was just complaining? Any ideas to help him when he has an erection? Is it a good idea to stimulate other parts of his body so that he gets some pleasure even if cannot masturbate himself? Or shoul I stop all stimulation? Should I let him fuck pillows? Will that help him reduce the stress of the moment or will that stimulate him even more?

I have to say we had sex after that. It was a bit aggressive, I mean, fast, with few caresses, he was impatient. But I allowed him to do that, since he had suffered a lot during the weekend.

Posted by: @san123

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Yes, he is extremely impatient and maybe a bit selfish, but I like him and I'm sure he likes me.

 

We talked about his problem and he agreed to cooperate. He said he would let me train him, even if it's a bit uncomfortable for him. He is not very enthusiastic about it, but he agreed to let me be in control.

 

I bought a chastity cage (a silicone one, soft and big enough). We agreed that he would be locked for two days (last weekend). At first he complained it was uncomfortable, but he accepted it. I didn't tease him but at some point at the end of the first day he started getting really horny. I don't know why, maybe because he knew he could not masturbate and that made him anxious. He told me he wanted sex, I told him to relax. He started complaining he has having an erection, he said he needed to remove the cage. He didn't have the key, so he couldn't. He staarted feeling do desperate. He touched himself, he even tried to "fuck" a cushion. I tried to calm him down, I hugged him, but he needed stimulation down there and he started feeling really frustrated. I suggested a cold shower, but he said no. He felt angry and he asked for the key. I talked to him, tod him to breathe and relax... It was hard for him... When he calmed down we went for a walk. He didn't want to, but I know it helped.

He could not sleep well that night. He told me a few times to unlock him, but I convinced him to keep working on his self control.

 

The next day I had to unlock him before the agreed time. After lunch he started complaining he felt pain, he han an erection and the cage was too small. He lied on the bed and started fuking the pillow, he could not stop. Every time he got more frustrated. He even undessed himself and started stimulating his anus (outside), which he doesn't usually like. He was angry at me, he asked me to unlock him.

 

I made him stop and be quiet. I told him I would unlock him if he allowed me to masturbate him, and maybe edge him a bit. He agreed. I unlocked him and started masturbating him, slowly and gently. He needed more. I kept doing it slowly. At some point, maybe after 2 or 3 minures, he started masturbating himself. He was frustrated, he didn't allow me to masturbate him anymore. He cum fast, he didn't last more than 1 minute I think...

 

I don't think it was too bad for the first time. He learned how it feels to be in chastity an he started giving up control. I need to train him more, help him deal with his frustration.

 

Any tips? Is an erection in chastity painful or he was just complaining? Any ideas to help him when he has an erection? Is it a good idea to stimulate other parts of his body so that he gets some pleasure even if cannot masturbate himself? Or shoul I stop all stimulation? Should I let him fuck pillows? Will that help him reduce the stress of the moment or will that stimulate him even more?

 

I have to say we had sex after that. It was a bit aggressive, I mean, fast, with few caresses, he was impatient. But I allowed him to do that, since he had suffered a lot during the weekend.

 

Thank You for responding. This is where you need to be persistent. Explain to him this process will take time and that delaying his orgasms will make them stronger and more satisfying when he does get them. Regarding pain: apply some baby oil or skin lotion to he inside of the cage before locking him up. If he complains about pain, unlock the cage and inspect him, if there are no signs of broken skin or redness, then lock him back up. The discomfort he feels is simply the chastity cage reminding him to control himself. Your boyfriend is young - chastity training at this age will maximize his sexual frustration due to his masturbation habit, but in time he'll slowly begin to accept his situation. Just remember that Tantra Yoga teaches that men should ejaculate no more than once every 6 weeks in order to maintain proper energy levels, so a few days or even a week or 2 in a chastity cage will not harm him - no mater how much he begs and whines.         

Hi.

I locked him up for the second time last weekend. Maybe I should do it more often, but I thought that the weekend is the best moment...

So, last weekend he knew what it was all about. He agreed to be caged and we talked about his need to control himself. When I locked him up he started feeling the need to have sex, but he managed to control himself for a while. That night, when we were in bed, he started feeling a stronger need... he started telling me he needed sex, I tried to help him relax. I hugged him and told him to be quiet... but he could not. He told me he really needed to touch himself or to have sex. I asked him to tell me how he was feeling, so I could help him. He said he really needed sex, he could not stop thinking about it and he was starting to feel angry and desperate. Then he asked me to touch him. I felt sorry for him, I know it was hard for him, but at the same time I knew he needed me to help him gain more self control, and I'm sure he needs that, I think the pleasure he gets now when he masturbates or has sex can be increased -and I need that as well- so it's something he needs to go through.

I started caressing him. Then he got undressed and asked me to undress myself, which I did. He started touching me moving himself against me... but he didn't get release. He was really aroused, a bit desperate, moving himself and trying to get stimullation down there. At some point I started playing with his anus. He was so desperate that he allowed it. I even put a finger inside... He allowed it for a few seconds, then he said no. But he was o desperate, he allowed me to do that again... He doesn't usually like that, he feels embarrassed and he doesn't want me to touch him there...

I had orgasms, we played like that for more than two hours. Instead of feeling some release, he was more and more desperate. I didn't know what to do... Cold shower? Keep playing until he feels exhausted? Just stop and see how he struggles while he gets calm again?

I felt really sorry for him. At first, I let him struggle in bed. He tried to masturbate himself while caged, he complained about pain.. I saw him weak and helpless. That lasted 30 minutes, I just looked at him, lying on the bed, trying to stimulllate himself.

In the end I unlocked him and just whatched him while he desperately masturbated himself. I masturbated myself at the same time, I got really excited. Then I locked him up again and unlocked him the next day.

I know I shouldn't have done that, but what should I have done? What do you do when he is so desperate?

Maybe I shouldn't have touched him in the first place?

Guys, what do yo do in this situation, when you are locked up and really need sex?

I will lock him again tonight, just until tomorrow evening. Should I just avoid touching or making him aroused? Or should I train him to deal with these situations?

How long do you think it will take until he is able to control himself and last longer when having sex?

Posted by: @san123

↑

Hi.

 

I locked him up for the second time last weekend. Maybe I should do it more often, but I thought that the weekend is the best moment...

 

So, last weekend he knew what it was all about. He agreed to be caged and we talked about his need to control himself. When I locked him up he started feeling the need to have sex, but he managed to control himself for a while. That night, when we were in bed, he started feeling a stronger need... he started telling me he needed sex, I tried to help him relax. I hugged him and told him to be quiet... but he could not. He told me he really needed to touch himself or to have sex. I asked him to tell me how he was feeling, so I could help him. He said he really needed sex, he could not stop thinking about it and he was starting to feel angry and desperate. Then he asked me to touch him. I felt sorry for him, I know it was hard for him, but at the same time I knew he needed me to help him gain more self control, and I'm sure he needs that, I think the pleasure he gets now when he masturbates or has sex can be increased -and I need that as well- so it's something he needs to go through.

I started caressing him. Then he got undressed and asked me to undress myself, which I did. He started touching me moving himself against me... but he didn't get release. He was really aroused, a bit desperate, moving himself and trying to get stimullation down there. At some point I started playing with his anus. He was so desperate that he allowed it. I even put a finger inside... He allowed it for a few seconds, then he said no. But he was o desperate, he allowed me to do that again... He doesn't usually like that, he feels embarrassed and he doesn't want me to touch him there...

I had orgasms, we played like that for more than two hours. Instead of feeling some release, he was more and more desperate. I didn't know what to do... Cold shower? Keep playing until he feels exhausted? Just stop and see how he struggles while he gets calm again?

I felt really sorry for him. At first, I let him struggle in bed. He tried to masturbate himself while caged, he complained about pain.. I saw him weak and helpless. That lasted 30 minutes, I just looked at him, lying on the bed, trying to stimulllate himself.

In the end I unlocked him and just whatched him while he desperately masturbated himself. I masturbated myself at the same time, I got really excited. Then I locked him up again and unlocked him the next day.

I know I shouldn't have done that, but what should I have done? What do you do when he is so desperate?

Maybe I shouldn't have touched him in the first place?

Guys, what do yo do in this situation, when you are locked up and really need sex?

I will lock him again tonight, just until tomorrow evening. Should I just avoid touching or making him aroused? Or should I train him to deal with these situations?

 

 

 

 

How long do you think it will take until he is able to control himself and last longer when having sex?

 

This is where the woman needs to step into the leadership role. Explain to your boyfriend your sexual needs are not being met due to his masturbation habit, and that most locked up males stay locked for longer than a weekend. Explain to him he'll be allowed to have sex once his agreed chastity period is finished, but that he must live up to his end of the agreement If he agrees, then lock him back up and try again. You have only 2 choices: Give in to his begging and accept his masturbation habit, or be firm enough with him to focus his sexual needs on you - and not his right hand. Please read the post below from another lady who successfully trained her man: 

 

My husband found chastity extremely difficult to get used to. His emotions used to begin with polite requests for release, then burning resentment, whining to angry outbursts. I was steadfast and firm that he would remain locked till I decided, and the date and time is entirely at my discretion and with no prior notice to him. His mood swings would culminate in crying and begging me on his knees. When this happens, I insist he gently suck on my breasts telling him that he must learn to live locked till I decide otherwise. Over time he has learnt that no matter how and what he says or does, I alone decide.

He knows that I love him and keep him aroused and excited, but his pleasure and desire should be focused upon me. I am pleased to report that now he has almost (it’s never hundred percent!); reconciled and accepted his situation. He does know that I will always comfort him and often begs me to allow him to nurse on my breasts when he is overwhelmed and close to tears. I can now release, his small cock, edge him repeatedly and lock him up without allowing him to come and there is no protest, only tears of frustration. We are a happy couple, who share chores, however when it comes to our sexual life, I call the shots.

 

Good Luck 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi San123,

Sadly, I think you're on a hiding to nothing with this chap for a number reasons. First off there is the substantial age difference between the two of you at such a young age. Particularly for him as being only 22 he's not properly cooked yet, has only one thing on his mind resulting in extreme selfishness. If you are considering a long term relationship then I would suggest don't. The chances are he will be off to pastures new in the not so distant future.

From your description of him, your boyfriend seems to be completely obsessed, excessively focussed on his own sexual gratification at the cost of everything else and completely out of control. He has a serious (mental or psychological) problem that needs to be addressed before you can move forward.

Unfortunately I don't think locking his tackle in chastity is going to be the answer either. I suspect all the guys who participate on this site relish the idea of being locked up, being teased, denied and getting frustrated. I certainly do and on the occasions I'm given a hand job, the slower, more teasing and longer it lasts the better. My Wife is extremely good at edging me, which can last for an hour or more, before I'm allowed to cum. The frustration drives me wild but I love it.

Also, I bet most of the guys on this site (95%+) actually initiated the idea of being put into chastity as few women understand why a bloke would want to do it in the first place. It's difficult to explain but handing over total control of orgasms to someone else is quite erotic and arousing but it also means she has to take an active role which is just more work for the her. That aside, your boyfriend doesn't fit into the category of wanting to be locked, he's akin to a wild horse that doesn't want to have a saddle on its back. He demands frenzied hand jobs on demand without any consideration for you and you're both missing out in so many ways. Until he matures I reckon he's a lost cause, you're both poles apart and forcing him to go down the chastity route will be a non-starter.

A bit of a brutal answer for which I apologise but I really do think you need to think twice. ☹️ 

Hi,

I know what you mean, soundsofdelight. He is quite young and we are quite different from each other, but we like each other. I don't know if this will last forever, but I want to enjoy it now.

As you said, he is still selfish and he always wants to have sex, but I think this is because he is still young. He hasn't learned slow sex. He masturbates since he was a teenager and he just had two girlfriends, who were young as well. I think I might teach him how to have better sex. I'd like to train him so he's able to last longer and I want to help him learn to control his needs.

I know this will take time. Of couse he is a wild horse who doesn't want a saddle on his back. He feels frustrated, angry, desperate to have an orgasm, and he doesn't want to feel this discomfort. He wants to avoid that, but at the same time he is not enjoying good sex. So I would like to be the one who helps him deal with this frustration and desperation.

I agree with williamportor's post. I think I should be firm, I just didn't know if it was too much for him. The thing he feels are the same he described there. He hasn't cried yet, but I think he might if he is not unlocked when he gets exhausted with no release. Maybe I need to learn how to confort him when he feels overwhelmed. Maybe I shouldn't have done what I did, because he got more aroused and then he was not able to stop... Maybe I should just hug him and let him feel whatever he feels without doing anythin sexual.

I'll lock him up again for two days and see what it happens. I will be strong, even if he begs or feels desperate. Then I will try to do it for a longer period. If you have any tips, you can tell me.

Posted by: @san123

↑

Hi,

 

I know what you mean, soundsofdelight. He is quite young and we are quite different from each other, but we like each other. I don't know if this will last forever, but I want to enjoy it now.

 

As you said, he is still selfish and he always wants to have sex, but I think this is because he is still young. He hasn't learned slow sex. He masturbates since he was a teenager and he just had two girlfriends, who were young as well. I think I might teach him how to have better sex. I'd like to train him so he's able to last longer and I want to help him learn to control his needs.

 

I know this will take time. Of couse he is a wild horse who doesn't want a saddle on his back. He feels frustrated, angry, desperate to have an orgasm, and he doesn't want to feel this discomfort. He wants to avoid that, but at the same time he is not enjoying good sex. So I would like to be the one who helps him deal with this frustration and desperation.

 

I agree with williamportor's post. I think I should be firm, I just didn't know if it was too much for him. The thing he feels are the same he described there. He hasn't cried yet, but I think he might if he is not unlocked when he gets exhausted with no release. Maybe I need to learn how to confort him when he feels overwhelmed. Maybe I shouldn't have done what I did, because he got more aroused and then he was not able to stop... Maybe I should just hug him and let him feel whatever he feels without doing anythin sexual.

 

I'll lock him up again for two days and see what it happens. I will be strong, even if he begs or feels desperate. Then I will try to do it for a longer period. If you have any tips, you can tell me.

Thank You for responding. One of the keys here is to note carefully how much time he typically goes between orgasms, then leave him locked slightly longer. i.e. If it's 2 days for him, then leave him locked for 3 days, allow him a release, then lock him back up immediately for another 3 day period. In time, he'll get used to the 3 day cycle, once he reaches this point, then go for 4 days and so forth. This will be a journey for the 2 of you...not a destination. Changing long held habits is difficult for anyone, so a gradual approach is best. Next item: Teasing - don't hesitate to do it. When he's locked, wear sexy clothes, when you 2 go to bed at night, cuddle up behind him and spoon him, make sure he can feel your boobs against his back, tell him to please you orally and so forth. He's going to have to learn to accept sexual frustration and to discipline himself to function in spite of it. Last item: Consistency - keep him locked as much as possible, regardless if he makes his chastity duration goal or not. Once he's had his "O" lock him back up right away. In time he'll get used to wearing the cage. You and your boyfriend are on he right path here - It just won't feel like it all the time.     

Hi,

So after reading your message, I talked to him yesterday and we agreed that I would lock him up for 3 days. We talked about how he would feel and he admitted he needed to improve his self control. He accepted to let me be in control and decide if he really needs a release or not.

He's been locked up since yesterday. At night he started needing sex. As you said I spooned him and caressed him a little. He started moving his hips, he played with his cage as he couldn't touch himself. I asked him to relax, to breathe slowly. I know he tried hard to control himself, but it was difficult for him. Then he turned around to lie down on me. He moved against me as if he were having sex. He was passionate and desperate. Then he started begging me to let him cum, to let him touch himself, to have sex with him... I told him I knew he was really frustrated but that he needed to learn how to manage the situation. He started getting angry, he said he needed sex. I managed to talk to him and convince him to have a cold shower. He agreed. When he came back to bed he had surrendered. He had accepted he would not have an orgasm. I think -but I'm not sure- that he cried in the bathroom because of his frustration and resentment.

Today he has been restless the whole day. Now he has started to play with his cage. I have told him that that if he keeps touching himself he'll fell the urge of havin sex. He didn't stop, he's now touching himself. I know what it's going to happen.

I'm happy because yesterday he managed to control himself. It was really hard for him. I know he suffered and felt really frustrated and powerless. I would have liked him to be brave enough to cry in front of me, to allow me know he was overwhelmed. But he did well.

I'm wondering if it would be helpful to give him a prostate massage when he is so aroused. I have never done that, but if he ejaculates he might feel better and more relaxed and the sexual tension will be lower. Should I try that? He always avoids anal touch, he feels really embarrassed and uncomfortable, but if he's like yesterday, he might accept it. Could that help him?

Posted by: @san123

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Hi,

 

So after reading your message, I talked to him yesterday and we agreed that I would lock him up for 3 days. We talked about how he would feel and he admitted he needed to improve his self control. He accepted to let me be in control and decide if he really needs a release or not.

He's been locked up since yesterday. At night he started needing sex. As you said I spooned him and caressed him a little. He started moving his hips, he played with his cage as he couldn't touch himself. I asked him to relax, to breathe slowly. I know he tried hard to control himself, but it was difficult for him. Then he turned around to lie down on me. He moved against me as if he were having sex. He was passionate and desperate. Then he started begging me to let him cum, to let him touch himself, to have sex with him... I told him I knew he was really frustrated but that he needed to learn how to manage the situation. He started getting angry, he said he needed sex. I managed to talk to him and convince him to have a cold shower. He agreed. When he came back to bed he had surrendered. He had accepted he would not have an orgasm. I think -but I'm not sure- that he cried in the bathroom because of his frustration and resentment.

Today he has been restless the whole day. Now he has started to play with his cage. I have told him that that if he keeps touching himself he'll fell the urge of havin sex. He didn't stop, he's now touching himself. I know what it's going to happen.

I'm happy because yesterday he managed to control himself. It was really hard for him. I know he suffered and felt really frustrated and powerless. I would have liked him to be brave enough to cry in front of me, to allow me know he was overwhelmed. But he did well.

I'm wondering if it would be helpful to give him a prostate massage when he is so aroused. I have never done that, but if he ejaculates he might feel better and more relaxed and the sexual tension will be lower. Should I try that? He always avoids anal touch, he feels really embarrassed and uncomfortable, but if he's like yesterday, he might accept it. Could that help him?

 

Well done on locking him up. Your spooning aroused him sexually, and that's good. He needs to be kept hard for a woman - but securely locked and denied! Your young stallion is now officially bucking and snorting against that saddle (or cage) Please hold off on the prostate massage, it's not necessary. Weather permitting, encourage him to exercise (your long walks will help) this will channel that increased testosterone into something that will help his physical fitness - this is why world class athletes abstain from sex before a major competition. a few days of enforced male chastity never harmed anyone. You're making progress here, just be prepared for some begging and crying. Below are some excellent messages for your boyfriend - Good to hear from you again. Well Done!