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Hi I have been married with my husband for nearly ten years and we have a good sex life. I was pregnant with our son and many of you know how much pregnancy throws your sex life on its end! During that time we talked about sex and what we want from it. My view of my role as a sexual "person" is that a woman should be supportive sexually to her man but not initiate really bring anything new into the bedroom. My desire is never really there and maybe has guilt or shame. This is probably from my religious upbringing but during our talks I think we both understood that I am not getting what I need from our sex life.
My husband is great, wonderful husband and an even better parent to our two year old daughter and our very new son. I am attracted to him as a partner and I love him deeply with all my heart. The unconfined love is there but you just don't feel lust and passion when it is your emotional partner. Or maybe thats me.
We started by watching porn together when I was recovering. We each pick two porns to watch and touch each other sensually in bed no orgasm no jerking off just touching our bodies and cuddling together. I yearn to be led and to be dominated but I these are not traits I want from my husband. From my husband I want to be supported, encouraged and loved. My husband has a lean and handsome body but in my desires I want a toned man with strong but not overly muscular shoulders and arms.
We are discussing what it would mean for me to take ownership of my desires and my sexuality. My husband loves me and is open to the idea but wants to be there to make sure I am safe. I also want him to be there because I don't want to do anything behind his back. I want to be selfish with my sexuality I am always a giver and want to feel someone pleasure me. My husband is not the submissive type but he wants me to get in touch with my sexual energy and sexual power. He loves to watch me feeling pleasure and excitement. We want to play but we have not taken any steps. I like this page and really like the genuine nature of all of you so I want to say hi.
Posted : 08/04/2022 9:34 am
Topic starter
I think the key here for me is having the confidence to see sex and love as two different things. I also struggle with having sex with a man outside of my husband being degrading. I am struggled to see myself with another man but the thought of being with another man is a turn on. We discussed that we do not want a threesome, if we ever move forward with this fantasy it would be a man that we both meet and my husband and I would go on a date with him. We would all flirt and enjoy the company of one another. We would go back to his place or our place and the other man would instruct my husband to either wait for us in the other room or sit and watch us in the bedroom. It is important to me that the other man tells my husband what to do because I would feel guilt or concern if what my husband is doing would be my responsibility.
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Porn tells us that I should be telling my husband that the other man is bigger, better lover and overall degrading my husband. I know there is a humiliation fantasy with this but I am not into that side of things. I love my husband and being mean to him isn't in my style. Even so, I want to make eye contact with him to reassure him.
Posted : 08/04/2022 10:31 am
It appears to me that the consensual non monogamy is what brought you to this site.
Is is there a chastity interest for you two involved in this?
Imho, if the idea of non monogamy works for the two of you, share some frank discussions about the boundaries that each of you can agree on, make a set of rules, and investigate the possibilities.
Fair warning, again, imho, adding additional partners can be a slippery slope.
Posted : 08/04/2022 4:30 pm
