New to FLR
I have followed the site for a while and decided to finally create a profile and hopefully learn more about FLR and experiences from the people here.
My wife and I have been married for 2 years have tried to have a FLR on and off, wife got pregnant right when we got married and our second kid just came into the world so we have had other life things get out in front of our sex lives.
We are looking to get back into a FLR / chastity and most of it comes from me needing to change with control / fully submitting.
Hopping to learn from people here on how to give up that initial control feeling and submit to my wife. She is new to FLR and having any kind of control over her partner.
Sorry if this is too much in the introduction forum section.
Look forward to interacting with people in the other forum topics.
What attracts you to the idea of giving up control and submitting to your wife?
thank you for the response and question.
I have been looking into femdom websites and forums for 10+ years. From that I have developed a mindset that the woman in your life should have her needs taken care of. Probably too much of that PornHub / fantasy aspect that has made me nervous about feeling weird with thinking that way. I have now realized more from finding this website and forum that type of life isn’t reality.
Was all mainly a fantasy for the most part and brought it up to my wife when we were date and it didn’t scare her off. With her accepting me telling her this and her being on board made me want to serve her even more.
I think some of the struggles on my end have been from the years of looking at the fake reality of the lifestyle. Also could be that I have read enough stories of where people have taken their life after years of this lifestyle and think we should be there and need to be more patient with the progress.
Welcome to the group. From what I've seen, the woman needs to buy into it. As a man, you can work hard and treat her well. You can introduce elements you think you are attracted to in play and see if she bits (be warned what you envisioned may not be what she executes). Really, it is what she decides to do when she is ready. Good luck on this adventure (and with two young kids - congratulations).
@restrainedlove thanks for your response
She is slowly getting bought into the lifestyle, mainly just a big change that takes time. We both need to learn patience.
We have experienced some set back because of the expectations of where I thought things would go and they didn’t. Hit the nail on the head about myself needing to relax and go at her pace.
thanks for the congratulations on the kids.
@restrainedlove You are spot on.
@bclark I think before you even introduce words like FLR or chastity or anything else, you the man should start by giving her respect. Start treating her like a "Queen" for the lack of a better word, but slowly. Not to make her think, "WTF is up with him ?". Slowly , each day you step up a tiny bit of your behavior towards the FLR you'd like to have. Don't even think about getting a cage or anything but treat her as your queen and keep it going. Let her feel this is not just one time thing.
Anticipate what she likes and do it ahead of time to surprise her. It's better if you remain without ejaculating. In your mind you're already in chastity for your lady.
It may be a sacrifice but I think It's worth it. Then you can start "worshipping" her, the way you want, when you two are private. No one has to know other than you two. Make her morning coffee, ask her "How can I help you today, my ___ ". Before you two sleep, thank her for the day. Just ease her into it. When she starts seeing the person you've become she'll naturally want to be your Mistress/Domiinat then slowly talk about getting a cage and so on. Let her read this blog specially the "FOR HER" section. Remember this is after a couple months of serving her.
Don't just rush into things.
@bclark I couldn't agree more with @kristine. Words can be "loaded" and off-putting. I would be patient and focus on authentic behavior and builds intimacy. Openness and trust will follow. This will lead to a mutual willingness to be vulnerable. Once you get to that point, effective communication will be easier.
Actions speak louder than words is so true with this kind transformation. Wanting to meet your partners needs starts with the chores, emotional support, and being reliable. More oral sex for her can come later.