Introduction: Taking the Reins

You are one crazy lady. I feel sorry for your boyfriend.

Haha thank you Jess <3
I appreciate your comment. I'd love to hear more about what you think is crazy and what you think might be acceptable to the boundaries that you've got in your relationship. Seriously, I do appreciate your feedback and anything that you might be able add to our conversation. What did you find specifically crazy? When you came to the site, what were you hoping/expecting to find?

Dear Emma, I perfectly agree with your post and I confirm that for a male the reactions under orgasm controll (with and without cage) are exactly as you described.
I would like to add some details experienced in my last two years...
During first weeks/months the man would continuously ask for release or at least he will try to speak about sex, so it's necessary to be very fair but clear and demanding to stop this, some hard punishments can help a lot... in my case I remember once ...she added a whole week to my release with very hard teasing session in the morning and in the night... since then I never asked for sex when unauthorized..
Another important detail in my previous experience is a kind of training to renforce male strengh and will to controll himself to serve her better and better (incrasing the pleasure of the relationship in the end).
Usually in that condition (with the cage) the orgasm becomes almost the only man's goal: this is not good because for reciprocal happines the final goal is woman's pleasure (and therefore male pleasure to serve her and finally his own orgasm). So after some days of arousal, teasing etc, unlock him an tell him (under your supervision) "would you like to masturbate for me? while I watch and appreciate your beautiful body and wonderful cock" you can imagine the reaction.... but tell him that the masturbation must be very slow and that the speed is under your control... of course you know that approaching the orgasm the man wants to increase speed while you'll ask to slow down and sometimes pause, and repeat as long as you want. This requires a very high will and self control, in the end (when you want, 15 minutes or two hours is always up to woman's decision) you simply say "I would appreciate a lot if now you stop and wait for your release next week...I like so much to see you so horny dear, but if you like we can put the cage on and then you can lick me to orgasm".
Of course I've tried to explain the idea, words are only for this (sorry because I can't explain exactly emotions in english) and every couple will find the natural way of doing it, but I can assure that within some months the man will increase a lot his will and his self control with very pleasurable results for him and expecially his Lady

once after this game she said "I want that even when you masturbate you feel that I control you, I perfectly know the speed and the way that YOU like, but you will do what I like"
This was wanderful for male devotion?

Hi, Emma how much male orgasm control enhanced intimacy, closeness and the overall quality of your relationship?What are the benefits and advantages of man who practices semen retention? Women can evolve and cultivate good values and habits in men,if they control theirs orgasm and sex life. Free ejaculators take women for granted,they are egoist, instead men who retein respect women,take care of their needs,they want to please and serve them. They know women come first,your satisfaction and pleasure are their priority.Thanks

You sound more clever than crazy to me!

Emma, you mentioned you used this approach in a couple long term and fulfilling relationships in the past. I hope this is not too personal, but did those relationships end due to standard relationship issues or did your requirement to retain or having an FLR create a challenge your past boyfriends could not accept?

I agree. If ejaculations are controlled, conversations happen and feelings flow freely even though the semen doesn't. Intimacy has increased exponentially and we are closer than ever. I am not afraid to show him physical intimacy - previously I was afraid that intimacy and affection would lead to expectations of sex.

Nothing is off limits with me! One of them got very resentful about orgasm control and absolutely wanted nothing to do with it. I told him that was fine and just explained my expectations and he simply refused to meet my expectations of respect, conversation about feelings and there was no closeness and intimacy. I ended it because we really weren't on the same page. The other was very shy, just wasn't a good fit for my personality so we ended that. I might consider having them post about it in the future as I am still friends with both of them.

I'm glad I stumbled across your blog. My wife and I just started using a cage and she is seeing some added benefits. We have been together for 30 years and have an active sex life. I rarely masturbate solo as it just does not have the enjoyment it does with her involved. Three years ago I offered her my service in an FLR. She was hesitant at first put began enjoying daily foot massages and help around the house. About a 18 months ago she started limiting my orgasms. I had some difficulties as I was going from five orgasms a week to two and then to less than one. Occasionally, I ask myself why I want this as it seems very restrictive to my wants. My answer always comes around to my discovery of enjoying her pleasure and feeling submissive to her.
This was a great post - Thanks

It truly does seem counter-intuitive for men to WANT this sort of lifestyle but I think that men are hard wired to desire to serve women. Seeing a woman happy and satisfied gives a man self worth and he feels that she is A happy woman makes a happy man. When he is able to value the joy that he receives by giving someone else pleasure as greater than the menial task itself, he is evolving beyond himself. It is confusing at a glance but once you really understand the motivation, it brings a whole new meaning to the bond between two people. What you described is what I hope to help every couple achieve. Kudos to the both of you and especially to you for bringing this lifestyle to your marriage.

You don't love your boyfriend. In a healthy relationship the woman wants to fuck the man and sex is not something that is weaponized. This strategy only works with betas who lack the self-respect and confidence to get sex elsewhere. You would be more happy with a real man that you desired to have sex with at all times. Desire cannot be negotiated. If you take a long hard look at your relationship, you should realize that you don't desire your boyfriend but the power your relationship brings. It's sad.

Thanks for your comment Zachary. We actually have sex several times a week but he is not permitted to ejaculate. I don't advocate sex being weaponized but I see it as something that can be used as a relationship tool to allow a couple to grow closer together. I am very happy and so is he. We both desire the power that I have in the relationship. Are you suggesting that a dom/sub relationship cannot be a healthy relationship?

@Jess

Not surprisingly, most men in the know would envy her boyfriend.  He's a lucky man.