How important is Ma...
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How important is Marriage

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Dave is out mowing the lawn and mulching leaves.  I am feeling lazy so instead of doing anything productive I decided to write about our talk on marriage this morning.

After we finished reading the new blog Dave and I looked back again at some of the older blogs and comments.  We saw where @Emma has not yet tied the knot.  I asked Dave if he would have been alright if we had chosen to live together instead of getting married.  He said he never thought about it.  Then he asked what name would the twins have and what about everything we own together?    He asked me the same question and I said, “as long as we still loved each other would it really make a difference?” 

Dave thought a minute and then he said, “I’m glad we got married.”  He went on that marriage is a commitment.  He said, “Remember how we wrote our own vows.  Those were promises we made to each other.”  We talked a little about our vows.  For our parents the preacher recited the vows and they just said, “I do.”  Our vows probably weren’t that different in substance from the vows they said “I do” to, but our vows were sincere and they were a promise that came from our hearts.  Dave said, “That still means something to me.” 

Then he laughed and said, “If we hadn’t gotten married I would not have had my special night.”  He, of course, was referring to his losing his virginity to me on our wedding night.  The sex may have been lame but the night was special for me too because it was about the love he showed and the way he held me all night. 

Then I mentioned that over half of all marriages end in divorce.  I said, “You know those couples probably made promises too and it didn’t mean a thing.  We have had our share of disagreements and even a couple of fights.  There were times we were ready to shoot each other but the words “divorce” or “I am leaving you” were never even close to being spoken.  We concluded that divorce happens because the couple quits trying when the going gets tough, or maybe they stop having fun together and it turns into all work,  or maybe the couple wasn’t really in love to start with.  We realized that we have both grown as individuals but we have done it together.  We share all our interests.  Yes there are things we do by ourselves but we still share our joys and troubles with each other.  We enjoy our time together just being us.


What did we conclude?   Marriage is actually just a symbol.  It tells the world you have made a commitment.  To us it is an important symbol.  A couple choosing to live together can make all the same promises to each other and married or not those promises are not kept because of a contract or a piece of paper.  They are kept because you love each other and are willing to work on your relationship when things get tough.  Marriage does make some legal things and paying your income tax (LOL) easier.  Other than that marriage is just a state of mind.  If you are in a truly committed, loving relationship does it really matter what you call it?  Does a piece of paper make it more loving? 

I just thought of one reason why marriage is the way to go.  Next year will be thirty years for us, a milestone.  That means a really big present like a nice diamond tennis bracelet.  Hint Hint

Posted : 11/09/2021 1:32 pm
joebear, J.M, joebear and 3 people reacted
Estimable Member

I like your post and agree with you.

For us the cage and key works the same way. My wife have necklas key that symbols our agrement, we use the honor system most often.

Its my love, promise and my commitment that keep me in line not the cage. Sure the cage works as a reminder and is good for teasing, but with out the rest it wouldnt work, the same could be said about a ring.

Posted : 11/09/2021 2:14 pm
Estimable Member

I agree with you.  Marriage is an important symbol to me.  That may seem strange to some people, given that my wife has engaged in what Emma calls “polyamorous friending” (cuckolding).  But that makes the symbol of marriage all the more important to me.  My wife may occasionally have sex with other men, but I am her one and only husband.  We were together for many years before any other men came into our life, and we will be together long afterwards or “until death do us part.”  When we embarked on the FLR portion of our marriage, we had our own private ceremony to renew our wedding vows along wife led lines and to rededicate our rings.  

Posted : 13/09/2021 6:15 pm
J.M, subhubphx, J.M and 3 people reacted
Posted by: @happycuckold

When we embarked on the FLR portion of our marriage, we had our own private ceremony to renew our wedding vows along wife led lines and to rededicate our rings.  

Love this.  Ms. K. and I did the very same thing, in front of an aware, enlightened Officiant as well.  It was a spectacular night!

Posted : 13/09/2021 6:27 pm
J.M, HappyCuckold, J.M and 3 people reacted
Estimable Member

@happycuckold If words like marriage and “polyamorous friending” (cuckolding) have no value and its what they symbolize to you thats important, and in your case i would guess that is love, trust and commitment.

If this is the case its funny how society thinks marriage is something good and all should get married but “polyamorous friending” (cuckolding) is a kink and its wrong.

Im starting to believe both is symbol of the same thing and that you are more evolved than me  but i can be way wrong.

If im by any small chance is right, this is a sad truth for me and rest of society , either way im happy for you.

Posted : 13/09/2021 9:13 pm
Estimable Member

@j-m I don’t think I am more evolved than anyone.  There are many different ways for couples to lead their lives, and each couple needs to learn what works for them.

Posted : 14/09/2021 3:34 am
J.M, J.M and J.M reacted