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I will be unpopular for saying this but I think the hotwife or wife sharing fad is a result of conditioning yourself to watching porn. You condition your mind to lust after a woman who is being satisfied by another man. You mind makes a connection to your wife who is the object of your desire and tells you that you should be aroused by watching her being satisficed by another man. I bet if you stop watching porn, the fascination of watching your wife with another man goes away.

The proof is in the numbers since most wives go along with a husband's wife-sharing fantasy. If this is his fantasy then it may just be years of porno conditioning him to desire his wife in the way he conditioned himself to view women in a sexual setting. Stop the porn. Love her unconditionally. Sharing her may not be what you really want.

If this is her idea and her fantasy then great. Talk about it and move forward carefully together. Don't pressure her into something that you have perverted your mind into thinking is healthy. 

Posted : 28/08/2021 2:46 pm
joebear, joebear and joebear reacted
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Lonnie, I don’t see any reason you should worry about your opinion being unpopular.  Most people still believe that marriage should be strictly monogamous, and there is nothing wrong with that.  If that’s right for you and your partner, that’s good.  It just isn’t right for everyone.

You are probably right that porn has some effect on people’s sexual activities. Because porn is so pervasive, it is possible for all of us to see an incredible range of sexual diversity.  Different people are turned on by very different things. But porn doesn’t create sexual diversity; it merely enables us to discover it. 


Personally, I am turned on by cuckold fantasies, but I am turned off by a great deal of cuckold porn.  Much of it I dislike because it is demeaning to women.  I don’t like it when men ask how they can get their wives to have sex with other men. I find that kind of manipulation misogynistic.  My wife has had sex with other men, and that has been a source of erotic pleasure for both of us, but I would absolutely NOT my wife to have sex with another man for my benefit.  It’s only enjoyable to me if I know she is doing for her own pleasure.  Therefore, I think you are wrong to assume that the main purpose of cuckolding is voyeuristic pleasure for the husband.  In fact, I have never been present when my wife has had sex with other men because she prefers to be with one man at a time.  If she wanted me to participate, I would, but we have the kind of “wife led marriage” where I follow her lead.  

Posted : 29/08/2021 9:00 am
djv, djv and djv reacted
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Posted by: @lonnie

If this is her idea and her fantasy then great. Talk about it and move forward carefully together. Don't pressure her into something that you have perverted your mind into thinking is healthy. 

This is a good point. But it applies equally well to most things in a relationship 🙂

Posted : 31/08/2021 2:16 pm
subhubphx, djv, subhubphx and 3 people reacted
Posts: 45
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My relationship is monogamous and happy to stay that way, and sites like this are melting-pots of preferences and lifestyles, all of which add to our rich sexual tapestry.

My thoughts here are on the comments on the persuasive power of porn. My formative years were spent in a pre-internet era where porn was dirty mags kept hidden from one's mother. It was masturbating material and precious little education or horizon expanding.

I think I do take slight issue with the idea that three-way relationships, cuckoldry etc. are a direct result of watching relevant porn and that ceasing to watch will make the urge go away. It seems to me that while porn can be detrimental on a number of fronts ( pressuring women into non-consensual violent and demeaning acts, and exploitation of actors to name two), it's also horizon-expanding in that we find stuff that challenges our vanilla mindsets and, frankly, looks exciting to try.

I accept that a sheltered vanilla woman might never have thought about a three-cornered relationship before seeing such on a porn site or in erotic literature, but surely the seed has to be there to be watered else the notion wouldn't take hold. A woman with no predilection for such an arrangement would surely just move on to some other porn that suited better.

Likewise, another woman who finds the idea appealing isn't going to put it away because she can't get Youporn anymore.

In a much smaller way this happened to me. As a pre-internet youth I used to see how long I could masturbate without cumming and I found this very pleasurable. But I thought I was the only person who did this and assumed I'd invented it. Imagine my surprise the first time I came across, never mind joi videos.

As I sit writing this, locked in one of a collection of chastity cages with the key I know not where and hopefully an anticipated release in early 2022, chastity was a concept unknown to me, but the first time I came across it I knew it was for me. If I never went online again it would still be my lifestyle choice (if a little lonely without virtual like-minded friends).

Posted : 15/11/2021 3:38 pm
djv, djv and djv reacted