Can Premature Ejaculation Be Trained?

There's this:

"A man who wishes to become a cuckold or chaste man naturally also wants to be able to show reasons why he deserves to be treated in this way, so that his wife can better identify with his desire and find it fair."

Which is it?  Is it his desire or is it her desire.  If it's his desire to be treated like a doormat and something less than a "real man", all that has to happen is the two of them agree that he is worthless sexually and that he will be treated like something less than other "real men."  Everybody should be happy, assuming of course neither the husband nor wife is unaware of their true feelings or lying about what they want.  Another happy marriage between a Wife and weak, arguably worthless man for a husband.  What could go wrong?  Sounds like a recipe for a long, satisfying happy life together.

I've seen that "guide" and thought, why in the fuck would a woman need or want to train her husband to become worthless as a sex partner and essentially ruin his life?  Either your husband meets your needs or he doesn't.  But why ruin him in the process?

We hear plenty of stories of fantasy and happy lives of the people living the cuckold, chastity, sissy husband, worthless excuse of a man type marriage, but we never seem to hear about the wrecked relationships that come out of any style of D/s that is bent on humiliation that is designed to degrade and diminish the human value of the other person.  I get it ... there are people that genuinely get off on shit like that, and more power to them.  Really.  I don't need to be reminded of that.  

There are also many, many couples and people that have absolutely wrecked lives because one (or even both) parties expressed that they are cool with being ruined as a person for the sake of the so-called pleasure and joy of the other.  Why don't we hear about these stories?  Because they are utterly wrecked and very few, if any, have any desire to chronicle their path to misery.  Once the flames and smoke from the wreckage that was once a relationship is gone, they just want to disappear and live their lives in obscurity.  Meanwhile, while the constant beating of the drum about how great their dysfunctional love life with their mate suddenly stops without explanation, there are 20 more "happy couples" that haven't seen the signs of pending doom yet, to take their place on the internet.  By sheer numbers it would seem to the average voyeur that the numbers of successful, happy couples is growing.  Oh, this sadness isn't limited to WLM's.  There are as many, if not more, relationships where the husband is the dominant and it's wife's life that is ruined.  

What is the point of my rant here?  I don't know other that I get my hair up a little when I see the porn fueled bullshit that depicts things like how to fuck over your husband by training to be a premature ejaculator as some sort of justification for whatever ... cuckolding, never having sex with him again, degradation, humiliation.  Ever see a meme where the proud slut in the picture is telling her husband how she has decided, again, whatever, which is something entirely outside the scope of what they talked about and agreed upon before diving in.  

If you ever feel like the picture above, the problem is that what is done is done and can't be taken back.  It would also be absolute evidence that one or both of you weren't entirely honest with yourself or each when all the eager agreeing and head nodding took place about how you cold handle it.  It's no consolation to be able to say in the future that in the past, your husband told you he wanted "this".  Because if it turns out he was wrong, it's too late and he becomes a martyr, and she becomes a whore for other men.  Sad.

Talk to each.  Multiple times, then multiple times again and again.  Be COMPLETELY honest and open about desires, fears, boundaries, limits and what you want to achieve as a couple while going down this road.  DO NOT discount the fact that when your wife is fucking another man, and even though she promised ahead of time that she won't develop feelings for him, or even fall in love with him, each of those thing are very very possible to happen.  Stranger things have happened when a naked man and naked woman are fucking.  It tends to lead to feelings that they never considered beforehand.  

Other than all that, how's things everyone? 

Well I asked questions and I got an answer. Please note that my questions and the whole post may sound naively formulated, but some of it was actually written in a very provocative manner. Not without reason. I wanted to provoke answers that could be discussed, also to expose them.

So I understand Subhubphx's tirade. It's true, it's truer than many people should realize. Of course, I'm still interested in the opinions of others. I am very good at sorting out any Internet fantasies born of self-eroticism.

The reality for me is that I am a small-dick premature ejaculator. So I didn't even have to ask the question for myself. For me it's all clear.
For me it is also a reality that my wife lets me satisfy her in all possible ways, just not anymore (90%) with my simply not powerful cock.
I'm still not a cuckold, but I'm a wannabe through and through. My wife knows it and thinks it's hot. She also knows that in my sexual condition I would never cheat. That calms her down because I'm often on the road for several days on business
.
We often have dirty talk about cuckolding, about what it's like when I hold her hand while she has to be available blindfolded in a gangbang because her bull wants it that way. We do that while I spoil her with toys or my fingers. Not if I do this with my tongue, of course, how should it be possible to eat her and speak at the same time 🙂 ??
She gets so aroused by the topic of cuckolding and gangbang that she almost always starts squirting!

But venturing into the weird truths of the porn world that @subhubphx denounces in his thread is not our business. We would live out neither cuckolding nor a gangbang in reality and I stand by that publicly.
I'm in my mid-50s and know exactly what works in our partnership and what doesn't. By the way, so does my wife. And yes, I want to be "the doormat". And yes, my wife knows that too. She likes to cater to my masochistic streak and my submissive streak. The point is that she lets me be the doormat, but she only uses the mat within the given limits. Not even that, mostly just as much as she wants - although I could use more. I think so anyway. I would often wish for a little more, but afterwards I'm not always so sure. So: it's good as it is ;-).

However, I am kept chaste and really had the task of proving the reasons for this. It's my wife's favorite thing to do with my kinks, show her the results. Results that are not thrown together in any way but that she wants to see presented in an accurate way with justifications and (often also philosophical) considerations.

Me, naked, kneeling in front of her bed or standing in front of her while she gently kneads my testicles, then read her the outpourings of my sexual research, explain them and try to catch every gesture or look that lets me guess what she thinks of it. Most of the time it ends up spoiling her.
This is my sexual world. I get a stiff from her praise, from her caressing hand because I did my job well, I could explain a bit why I want to be her (not just any but her) doormat. Well, the boner doesn't last long.... but at least she's happy that I got it. The penis doesn't lie.

And I can also discuss these things with Eva, who is sometimes more or less our coach. That gives me a lot. And it means a lot to my wife too. I have now understood that my wife discusses a lot with Eva. Things about which she, the mistress, is unsure herself, but her pride forbids her to discuss this directly with me, her "doormat". Eva compares this with me in an incredibly subtle way, literally interrogates me about it without my noticing. I only become aware of this when my wife seems to have a completely conclusive opinion on a detail that quite closely coincides with mine. No matter what you think of it, it is often better to have a neutral intermediary. For the finishing touch.

So, now I've written a lot more than I wanted to. Thank you Subhubphx for your emotional outburst 😉
The question remains whether what was propagated there is really trainable and can be permanent.
I mean: both times no.
But maybe someone can report something else ....?

I have a very tiny peenie, but my Wife & I work around it. For instance neither of us can feel each other, on the rare occasions we have sex if I don't add toys or fingers, therefore it would take me ages to finish. We started working on a count down system. We rarely have sex anymore but when I am allowed to cum, She will start a count down from 10 and I'm normally done by 3. It helps hearing Her voice, plus if I have been denied a long time if I'm not done at 0 I have to stop and wait until the next time She allows it. Not sure if this helps at all, I just thought I'd add my bit ☺️

Thanks for your contribution @piggy
If I understand correctly, you are or weren't a premature ejaculator, but now when you have sex with your wife, you can practically manage to spurt on command?
Wow!
I suppose the training has always been just this counting down from 10 to 0 and repeating it at different times until it works? Any other methodes?
How often did it take initially and how often is it successful for the first time today?

@thomas thank you.

Initially She would let me edge as much as possible, then once a week normally a Sunday evening (as I would of been edging all weekend) She would edge me. When She could see I was close. She would tell me that I HAD to cum (I need to hear it as an order) then She would count down. Over time She could start counting down at any time when I was being teased and I would be unable to control myself. Now as long as I'm hard and She starts counting down I instantly get to the edge, but as I love being denied I try to fight it. She loves to see me struggle, but to "Help" me control it She has found a firm smack or two on my "little cherries 🍒) stops me finishing and leaves me well and truly frustrated.

So my man has a ridiculously small penis. He is also rather premature. 

I have always found it really flattering when he cums on my thigh in excitement. 

I am trying to make him cum quicker and quicker and have tried counting out loud etc. any tips for a formal training plan ?

I wonder if I would feel the same if he had a bigger penis? Maybe it’s cute ,funny and flattering because it’s so small. Is it possible the same behaviour from a 8inch penis would actually make me angry or frustrated?