First cage measure

For sizing, I think it is better to try several times over a few days.  Under normal flacid conditions give it a (non arousing) tug, wait 10 or 20 seconds, them measure.  Girth is more critical than length imho (measure around w soft tape or string).  Most cheap cages are made yo 1.25" / 32mm dia.  If the cage is too wide you will turtle back, too small and it will pinch.

Base ring and gap also critical to a good fit.  I would start with a cheap kit w multiple sizes and be ready for experimenting.  I finall found oval/50 mm to he the only one that worked for me but you will be different.

Duration?  As much as your male fantasy mind wants to be locked long ter. This has to be for your wife, NOT you to discover or control.  Unless she is asking you for such a lock I wouldnt push it.  Instead share openly how you feel when locked and show her your gratituflde in ways she likes.  Trust me, her "guilt" will dissappear soon enough.

Posted by: @arioch85

Hello to everybody,

It's a long time that I read both the articles of the site and the blog, and with my wife I have started to introduce chastity with honor system in our life. But I would to more to have a FLR relationship, and I would buy a chastity cage.

 

Now, the problem is, of course, the size. I've read your blog post https://www.evolvingyourman.com/2021/01/06/male-chastity-selecting-the-correct-size-for-your-cock-cage/ and you suggest to have a warm shower before measure it.

Here you write "measure your flaccid penis after coming out of a warm shower. This typically is going to be slightly larger than your smallest state". But after, when you comment the picture, you point the interest of the too big cage. Now, when i get out from a warm shower my penis could be 2cm more longer then when i feel cold of similar. Is ok to keep the warm shower measure or could be too big?

 

Another suggestion that i would ask is how to start. I'm pretty sure that my wife will get me out really faster, as she felt guilty if i'm not coming. This is, of course, a good thing for me. But i would encourage here to take her time to get confortable with chastity, and to make me try it.

I was thinking to close the key in a box with a lock with numeric sequence, deciding half sequence she and half me, writing the number down and get one number each some days. In this way the minimum period should be done. But i have some logistic problems with how to manage the lock 🙂

Do you have any other ideas?

 

Thanks in advice for all the suggestion!

First, and very importantly, do NOT rush things. Yes, you're as excited as a 2-month-old puppy, but puppies are a pain in the ass. So please, make extra sure in all of your new-found excitement that you are NOT being a pain in the ass to your wife.

Second, w.r.t. sizing, for *most* people, it's good to have a bit of extra width inside the cage, and bad to have a bit of extra length inside the cage. Don't be afraid to try out a few cheap cages to get a feel for what works for you; at $20 each (give or take) from any number of places (Amazon, eBay, Chinese e-commerce sites, whatever), you can try out a few different styles and sizes. Eventually, as you figure out what you really want, you (like many others) may end up spending $500-1000 on a custom stainless steel cage, so getting a good understanding of the sizing and fit and feel early on can save you a lot of pain and money down the road.

Third, if your wife wants you out faster, then your wife wants you out faster. That is no longer your concern. It is kind of funny that this does happen in some chastity relationships; for example, when I get to the point that I'm totally focused on my wife, it turns her on and we frequently end up having sex just when I'm getting to the completely-wrapped-around-her-finger part of the brain chemistry changes. (Hey, it's her decision now. Whatever she wants is fine by me.) What I'm trying to say is this: If there's a slow start to all of this, then you're doing *well*, and NOT poorly. Don't dive straight into the deep end (see point #1 above). And if you're serious about your wife leading, then you gotta stop trying to decide what "the right way to do this" is, because that is no longer your job to figure out.

Anyhow, I'm being a bit blunt with some of my advice, but I promise that I'm only being blunt to try to save you from blowing things up in all of your excitement and your rush to the finish line. There is no finish line, so stop pulling like a naughty puppy on a leash. Slow down and enjoy getting to know your wife better, and allowing her to get to know you better. It really can be quite enjoyable when *you* stop trying to interject *your* foot onto the gas pedal. Give your wife the wheel, and stay away from the damned pedals. Actually give your wife the space and the authority that you claim you want to give her. She'll bloom and grow into that space, but you also need to be patient.

And best wishes to the both of you 🙂

You've been given good advice, so I will try to add additional information. What worked best for me was measuring four times a day for three days, using the average size and then subtracting 1/2 inch in length and a 1/4 inch in width. I nailed the length the first time out, though now that I have been wearing it 22/7 for over 18 months, I will probably go down one more size in length. For me, it was the ring size that took a while to find the right size.

After trying a few different styles and materials, the best fit and wear for me is the kink3D Cobra. On their website, they have sizing guides, but it is directed towards their model. Also, they have a Reddit page r/kink3d, which provides endless details on sizing help from users. Finally, on size and the MC lifestyle, Reddit also has a page for chastity training & chastity couples, which provides a lot of sizing and relationship information, ideas, and feedback.

Regarding your wife feeling guilty and wanting to shorten the time you are caged so that you can experience an orgasm, initially, we had a similar issue. It wasn't that Mrs. Bebop felt guilty. It is that she likes intercourse. She likes the feeling that comes from a male orgasm exploding inside her, which makes her feel sexy, attractive, and the power that comes from that. As others have said, go slow, it has to work for both of you to get all the benefits, but relationships, and this part of them too, work better if she leads. Similar to most who begin this lifestyle, as you add chastity/denial time, she will see the value, and before you know it, you will be begging her to make it for shorter periods. After Mrs. Bebop saw first hand the benefits, she now has no problem having intercourse with me several times a week, yet requires me to not orgasm for weeks and months.

Lastly, you may want to try a timed lock that releases at a specific time. They run between $25 - $40. We still use this lock today in a variety of ways. They generally can be set for 99 hours. Once you both agree on a release, if she feels sorry for you in 48 hours - too bad too sad! Of course, there is always an emergency key, and time-release locks also have an emergency release in their instruction guide, so at the end of the day, it still comes down to the willingness to put in the work and commitment to test and improve relationships.
Good luck.

Thanks to all for your suggestion!

All really appreciate, both for sizing and for my point of view!

I really have to grow up and remember how should choose ?

Thanks again!