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Did chastity boost your confidence? It did for my wife, not just sexually, but professionally as well.

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Triple her salary. That's what my wife makes now compared to the annual pay she received for nearly 15 years from the company she works for. She has always had what it takes to be in the position she currently holds as Vice President of Operations. What she didn't have was the ability to assert herself into the role.

That's where chastity comes into play. I won't be so bold as to claim that our foray into male chastity was the reason for her promotion. Many factors had to line up just right for that to occur. Her qualifications spoke for themselves. However, for the longest time, she couldn't or wouldn't speak for herself as well. Being a chastity keyholder gave her the confidence to change that.

For more than a decade, my wife's job was in an administrative support role. She fielded complaints and fixed problems that were either user error or system misconfiguration. As such, she knew the all of the processes and technologies of her company inside and out. She knew every employee, every user and every customer. Although she could see solutions to the root cause of the problems, she dutifully carried out her responsibilities to fix what was broken after the fact. Her natural tendency was simply to stay in her lane.

As the lead in support, she had a seat at the table with corporate leadership, but she didn't always have a voice. Many times when she did voice her concerns or opinions, she allowed herself to be silenced, thinking that those who made decisions contrary to her advice must know better. She didn't have the confidence to stand up for her opinions or insist that she be heard.

Then we discovered chastity. Her journey from compliant wife and passive employee to assertive keyholding Goddess and corporate Vice President didn't happen overnight. It wasn't necessarily a quick process. However, over the course of time, she began to learn to assert herself. She learned that it's okay to have expectations and to let her voice be heard. In a male dominated industry, she grew to understand that not only was it okay to stand her ground, but that it actually garnered respect and admiration.


Our chastity lifestyle started slowly at first. Like many couples, we struggled early on, mostly because of my inability to effectively communicate. By the time I had introduced her to the concept of chastity, I had already been deep into the fantasy. I had the mistaken idea that once she locked on that cage and put the key on her necklace, that she would magically and instantly become a dominant Goddess. It just doesn't work that way, at least, it didn't for us.

I had to coach her over the course of time to speak directly and to the point. For too long, she beat around the bush and used euphemisms for what she really meant. She spoke in a passive voice, rather than assertively. For example, she would say "I think you should be locked" or "I think I want to lock you today." Great. Awesome. Thanks for letting me know, baby.

Then later she'd wonder why I hadn't locked. She'd ask "are you locked yet?" No. Later still, "why aren't you locked yet?" Why would I be?

Of course, I eventually had to explain myself. The chastity fantasy wasn't going so well and the miscommunication and unstated expectations were causing frustrations and conflict. I had to be clear and open. I explained how I wanted to be submissive to her. I wanted to be her footboy. I wanted her to be my keyholder, my Goddess. As such, she needed to be aggressive when locking me. She needed to say exactly what she wanted and exactly when she wanted it. She couldn't mince words.

I even gave her the words to use: Tell me to go lock my fucking cock. Now. "Go lock your fucking cock. Now!" Hearing those words in her sweet voice was exhilarating. Her direct and assertive command made me want to comply. Her demeanor made me want to please. Once that ice had been broken, it became easier each time for her to make her demands and set her expectations.

There were starts and stops along the way. The entire concept of chastity could, at times, be irritating - with conflict and anger and tears. But we worked through it, like we've worked through everything in our 30 year relationship, with love and understanding. Now, she has no hesitation when she snaps her fingers and calls me to service. "Footboy! Fill my cup with coke and ice. Then bring me a snack." It has become natural for her. She'll even demand that I serve her sister when she comes to visit, but that's a topic for another post.

During this period of growth, we both started working from home due to the COVID pandemic. While in close proximity throughout the day, I had the chance to listen in on her meetings. As our chastity relationship developed and she began to discover new vocabulary and new ways of expressing herself, I couldn't help but notice how these new concepts crept into her workplace interactions.

The tone of her words gradually evolved from passive and suggestive, to direct and commanding. People were noticing that she knew more than they gave her credit for. They were noticing that she had solutions. She was no longer merely offering suggestions for solutions to problems, but rather confidently demanding them.

Then the inevitable struck. Due to the pandemic, her company had to lay off employees. Hard decisions had to be made on who to keep and who to let go. Not only was my wife retained, but promoted.

As her company was forced to navigate the new economic landscape, she was no longer just a support employee, but now director of operations. It was clear she knew more than anyone else. Knowing everything there is to know was a necessity in her support role. Now she was able to apply that knowledge and those skills because of a new found confidence. A confidence that she developed as keyholder and Goddess to an incredibly stubborn, bull-headed, man.

If she could tame a tiger to be her footboy, she could certainly tame the staff to be her workforce. She could certainly assert herself to keep her company afloat - even in the most difficult of circumstances. She did. And she was compensated accordingly, now making triple what she did previously.

One of many things I learned about leadership while in the Marines is that command is never given, it is taken. My wife has always had the skillset and experience to command her workforce. What she lacked was the confidence and assertiveness required to assume that command. Male chastity and the dynamics of locking her husband's cock in a cage, all while elevating herself to the status of Goddess, helped provide her with that confidence. It helped her to claim the position that was rightfully and naturally hers all along.

I often see reference to chastity providing the keyholder a newfound sexual confidence, but locking your man in chastity not only has the potential to boost your confidence sexually, but professionally as well. Of course, everyone's experience will be unique to them, but for us it's been an amazing journey – one that I hope will not end soon.

Posted : 19/08/2022 10:54 am
Dad Jokes
Posts: 41
Estimable Member

Something similar happened for us when my wife started chastity. She went from a mid level manager at a large company to a business owner with 40+ direct reports. Her confidence increased tremendously and her anxiety dropped significantly. It is difficult to say if the two are related but it would be equally hard to say they aren't.

Posted : 20/08/2022 9:45 am
Posts: 131



I think the two are very much related in general. I think chastity or a much more controling role in the bedroom for a women is extremely healthy and helpful in all facets of life.


We do not practice chastity, but last night Goddess and I had an amazing night of sex. She called all the shots and dominated me. This morning she was full of confidence, was assertive and expressive. I could only smile.  It would be hard to argue that sexual empowerment doesn't positively impact a woman's professional life.



Posted : 20/08/2022 10:01 am
Trophy Husband
Posts: 1
New Member
  • Newbie Member, Hi 🖐️, I can't remember where but my Wife had read an article on chemical changes in the male brain that an Orgasm causes.  She believed my moodiness and lack of compliance came from my orgasms and the more intense/muscle spasms/contractions the worse the chemical imbalance post orgasm.  That imbalance lasts 5-10 days and then the body craves that euphoria and release again.  She wanted to break the repeating cycle and chastity was the only way to stop me from masturbating when my brain was craving to release.  She realized that she had been restricting she sexual needs and desires because she hated dealing with my crashes.  I keep putting my need above hers until she was able to get my orgasms under her control.  Chastity has given her that control and confidence to fulfill her needs.  She controls my releases and limits the intensity to minimize my crashes and get me back to equilibrium.  It's completely changed our relationship for the better.  I've become less moody and move compliant.  She gets to explore her sexuality and focus on her orgasm instead of worrying about mine.  Life changing for both of us ❤.
Posted : 20/08/2022 6:25 pm
Phil Anonymous
Posts: 28
Eminent Member

That’s an interesting question. My wife was pretty successful before we started chastity play. She works with many men and she does seem more confident. I’m mainly enjoying the kink but I’m locked away mostly due to orgasm issues. Her/our motivation might have been a little different. But I do like a relationship on the flr-type side and I have it. We’re both professionals and both enjoy my locked state. I actually enjoy bringing her pleasure while locked up. She’s obviously enjoying my submissiveness and benefits it brings.

Posted : 21/08/2022 12:23 pm
Posts: 13
Active Member
Topic starter

@dad-jokes Exactly how I feel. There's no proof-positive evidence, but my observations are that confidence in the bedroom has become confidence in the boardroom.

Posted : 22/08/2022 5:33 am