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RexLuthor
(@rexluthor)
Active Member
Topic starter
 

My girlfriend shared the blog about a wonderful sex life not being optional and it created an amazing conversation about sexuality and both of us feeling sexy. It is important to me that my girlfriend feels sexy because I know it is important to her. I never really thought about myself feeling sexy and the blog made me think of the times that I feel most sexy. I came to the conclusion that I feel the most sexy when she is sexually aggressive, assertive and dominant. Telling me what she wants instead of asking me what I want. I want to thank you for starting what was probably the most genuine conversations about sexuality that I've ever had. Our relationship is such that I can say things without first running them through my mental filter and she can do the same which really helps us stay on the same wavelength.

We don't really want to do chastity yet because I don't like the idea of locking myself in a cage. I don't mean any disrespect to those who do. It is just my personal preference. But we are big fans of pegging. Wearing her sexiest strap-on harness makes her feel incredible and she wears it around the house sometimes because 1 it makes her feel sexy and 2 she understands the importance of making me feel valued and sexy. Keeping a sexually playful mindset accomplishes both. What prompted me to write this is the text that she sent me today.


Girlfriend: Guess what is going to happen tonight?

Me: I give up. Can I have a hint?

Girlfriend: You will be face down ass up in our bed and I am feeling aggressive.

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Me: That gave me the tingles. I love you and I can't wait.


Β 

Thanks for having this site and your thought provoking conversation stimulating blogs. I think tonight is going to be fun.

REX

 
Posted : 16/09/2021 7:17 pm
nevertoolate, lockedforlynn, Headtrip and 6 people reacted
true42
(@true42)
Reputable Member
 
Posted by: @rexluthor

I don't like the idea of locking myself in a cage

The effects are strong, and well worth it, and it's painfully obvious (emphasis on painful, sometimes). The positive impact on the relationship is not easy to ignore. Yeah, sucks for me ... sucks to wear. But it's a small price to pay compared to the improvements that I've seen in my own attitude and treatment of my wife.

We would gladly do without the cage, if we could get those same effects otherwise.

So my suggestion for you is: Avoid trying it. Too hard to go back.

 
Posted : 16/09/2021 10:39 pm
RexLuthor
(@rexluthor)
Active Member
Topic starter
 
Posted by: @true42

So my suggestion for you is: Avoid trying it. Too hard to go back.

I think she would enjoy the power trip and I value my orgasms too much to help me sleep at night. I can't go to sleep without getting off. Bad habit I know.

 
Posted : 16/09/2021 11:18 pm
TinCup, TinCup and TinCup reacted
J.M
 J.M
(@j-m)
Estimable Member
 

@rexluthor You could try take the middle path ?

No cage but no O with out her saying so either, might work for you...we are all diffrent.

Β 

 
Posted : 17/09/2021 10:03 am
true42
(@true42)
Reputable Member
 
Posted by: @rexluthor

I think she would enjoy the power trip and I value my orgasms too much to help me sleep at night. I can't go to sleep without getting off. Bad habit I know.

Not at all a bad habit. Until a few (3?) years ago, that was my habit. Every night (with few exceptions).

Things changed. I was not a fan, at first. So be sure to appreciate what you have πŸ™‚

 
Posted : 17/09/2021 4:18 pm
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Famed Member Admin
 
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@rexluthor It may seem like it isn't hurting anyone but I think you would be surprised to see the energy that your masturbation routine is taking from your relationship. Although it may be hard to see because you presumably have been doing this routine since adolescence, you are literally stealing from yourself and your girlfriend.

 
Posted : 17/09/2021 5:30 pm
Husband32, TinCup, djv and 12 people reacted
J.M
 J.M
(@j-m)
Estimable Member
 

@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j I agree completly.

Orgsm controll helps me focus my energy on her, she feels loved and that her needs are being meet, for me it gives me great joy to seeΒ  her happy. So insteed of stealing energy i refocus and give to the one that matters the most which in turn gives me more energy.

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Posted : 17/09/2021 8:34 pm
TinCup, guy from ri, Emma and 9 people reacted
TinCup
(@tincup)
Member
 

@evolvingyourman_ivcr4jΒ 

It's really hard for me to admit, but I think your take is 100% on the money. I am realizing now that some of my sexual energy is taken away from Goddess when my masterbation is excessive. I have a very high sex drive, so some masterbation seems okay for now. Like I said, i am trying to come to grips with all this. Goddess and I have not addressed my masterbation in these terms yet.Β  Her sex drive is much lower than mine due to her dealing with severe migraines for several days a month, so she allows me some grace. Although sometimes I over indulge.Β  I don't think a cage will be right for us right now, but I may need it at some point. Frankly the prospect scares me. Sorry, rambling...

 
Posted : 23/04/2022 4:47 pm
restrainedlove
(@restrainedlove)
Estimable Member
 
Posted by: @true42

Too hard to go back.

Punny.

 
Posted : 26/04/2022 9:10 pm
restrainedlove
(@restrainedlove)
Estimable Member
 
Posted by: @evolvingyourman_ivcr4j
@rexluthor I think you would be surprised to see the energy that your masturbation routine is taking from your relationship.Β 

This definitely seems to be the case from the short time I have been reading on this forum. It seems that having the male reserve himself for the female helps him direct energy into the relationship. There have been many posts with this as the case.

Some articles point out that it is also unhealthy for the male to develop a sense that doing housework results in an orgasm:

Β  Overall, try to get to a place where it is comfortable to communicate.

 
Posted : 26/04/2022 9:18 pm
TinCup, subhubphx, TinCup and 3 people reacted

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