Emma,
Thank you so much for running this website. It gives us some great information on this lifestyle. Learning about this lifestyle is not always easy since there is a lot of hype around it and getting quality information is not easy. I’m 35 years old, soon to be 36. My husband is also 35. We have been married since 2016, so a bit more than 6 years now. For the last 3 years we have been active in the cuckolding lifestyle. This lifestyle sneaked slowly into our relationship while we were still dating. It started as a fantasy, something to spice up things in bed. It started as his love of showing me off and me loving to be in the center of attention and flirting with men. Over the years we would go more and more deep until 2019 when I met my first bull/boyfriend. He is a 45 years old black man. He is tall and handsome, smart and funny and since I was curious about black men since my teenage years, he got my attention right away. It was a combination of a perfect moment and perfect man that led to us deciding to dip our toes into a cuckolding lifestyle. After three years in this lifestyle I’ve been with four men. They were all black men, so I guess I have more than just curiosity for them 🙂 We were always FLR and this lifestyle emphasized that even more. I became more dominant and he became even more submissive. All that led to us starting to play around with denial and chastity cage like 10 months ago and since then we didn’t have penetrative sex. Mostly just hand and foot jobs. That really brought our Dom/sub relationship to another level. Even though it has its hard moments both my husband and I are enjoying this lifestyle. We honestly wish we started earlier because with me being almost 36 it’s more than time to think about raising a family. With my husband cut-off from sex we started fantasizing about me staying pregnant with another man. We are aware it brings a lot of complexity and potential problems but we would like to know your opinion as well, Emma. Right now it’s just a fantasy, but so was the cuckolding lifestyle and look at us now 🙂 I know that this is on us to decide and to see how strong we are but hearing others opinions and experiences would help a lot! Thank you! Mrs. Moscato
Hi Mrs. Moscato! First off, you sent this over a month ago and I’m just getting a chance to post it so I’d like to start with an apology. Second, I’d like to congratulate you on your female led relationship and the joys that you’ve come to experience together. I wouldn’t dwell on regretting not starting earlier too much as I believe that it is essential to develop a bond together before venturing outside. A FLR and a submissive husband is a beautiful thing. Trust me, I know and love my relationship and the man I am blessed to have in Kev.
I hate to give too much advise but I feel like you are just starting to understand the FLR dynamic that you’ve established for the last 10 months. Taking four lovers in as much time has presumably sparked conversation between the two of you. With regard to having a child with one of these lovers, I would caution that it may be too early. I see that you’ve got an affinity for black men and presumably you are not black so it would be quite obvious that your husband is not the father.
If you are both ready for children and you feel that this is the best way to make it happen then I encourage you to move forward cautiously with plenty of conversation. Although submissive, your husband is still your partner and your lifestyle is an extension of your marriage together. It is clear that your lifestyle is not a weekend fetish but a way of experiencing life together. Children are of course a permanent part of your life as well. With all of that said, I recommend that you keep pregnancy a fantasy and that you get a puppy. Take my advice with a grain of salt and remember that my words of wisdom are coming from a woman with no desire to bear children. I see this sort of thing in fantasies often and the fetish/fantasy element is the humiliation of the man raising a child that was obviously not fathered by him. My opinion is that bringing a child into the world for the purpose of furthering your fantasy is not fair to the child or to yourself. A child is not a fantasy, a child is a life and should be taken very seriously. I’m not suggesting that you are only doing this as an element of your fantasy but I am suggesting that you take a look in the mirror and ensure that you fully understand your motivations.
What about the other man, is he simply a sperm donor or do you intend to find someone that will raise the child with you and your husband. I assume that your intention is the former but it should be a conversation and you should understand that your husband will have no rights to the child as you will have no rights to support if your marriage breaks up. This needs to be discussed and legal decisions and documents should be filed to make sure that you both have the protections that you need. Anything legal is outside my advice-giving-abilities so I highly recommend that you speak to a family law attorney.
Thanks for sending your question and feel free to post any follow-ups in the comments below. I’m happy to help further if I can. Don’t take my negativity about the topic as criticism, it most certainly is not. I just want to make sure that the two of you tiptoe into major decisions and ensure that you fully think them through. Lots of love to both of you!
An update about Kev and I. It has been nearly a month since my last post on the site but it isn’t an indication of things to come. My current mental spot is once of introspection and experience. Kev and I are enjoying our half-open marriage and learning about what makes us happy with our arrangement. We are both doing fine and our curiosity is directed inward at least for the moment. Kev has explored a certain level of bisexuality that we are not yet ready to share on this site but we will at some time. Thank you all for the interesting dialog on the forum, I’ve been happy to chime in on those conversations from time to time and see all of your smiling faces. I hope you are having a wonderful 2023 and I trust that the coming year will bring wonderful things for your relationships.
I can’t even imagine …
I hope I am making this clear. Please do not bring a baby into this world to humiliate your husband. Children are not sex toys.
If you want to use the other man as a donor, or create some type of shared loving parenthood with the child, far be it from me to cast you down.
Please procede with caution.
Yes thank you for reiterating my concerns with this. Get a puppy.
I do not usually rush to judge. However, as a parent I lack any subtlety when I think a child may not get all the love, care, and attention they deserve. Children first.
This kind of thing is along the path of the slippery slope. A long way down the path yes, but on the path, nonetheless. A collection of small and seemingly viable justifications is all it takes to get there.
OK, my two cents worth.
Use you husband as the sperm donor. Engage a fertility clinic on the pretext of freezing/artificial insemination. Much teasing/humiliation can be incorporated into the time before the office visit, such as “You are only allowed to cum into a cup cucky.”, etc. Or you can try the at home “turkey baster” version of above (don’t know if this really works) and the humiliation aspect could even be expanded,
Then you have a child that represents your true commitment to each other and the marriage, but the shared memory of how it actually came to be.
Best wishes whatever you decide.
Good answer. A children is a human. Be careful.
First of all, I agree with many here that a child should NEVER be used to humiliate someone or as a part of a game or power struggle between parents either inside this FLR/chastity community or outside.
Having said that, I really don’t see the difference between raising a child conceived with a bull in a committed FLR relationship and raising a child conceived by a former partner or by semen from a sperm bank, either way they are raising a child from another man. People get remarried all the time and the woman often brings along a child that was obviously conceived when the she was fucking another guy, happens all the time and no-one bats an eye. Same thing when a man has fertility issues, the woman is impregnated by sperm from some guy jacking off at a sperm bank. No big deal.
So why is it that when a man and woman in an FLR relationship decide to allow another man to fuck her and get her pregnant that it gets weird? Our society is so strange sometimes. If it comes to it, no-one outside the relationship even has to know.
Allowing my Queen to select another man to seed her is the ultimate surrender and beautiful gift that a man can give his Queen if that is what she wants. I think it needs to be very carefully thought out and discussed and, I think, this is perhaps one of the few areas in an FLR that both sides need to be in full agreement, this is a child that is being brought into the world after all. But as long as the motives are not fucked up and everyone agrees than I don’t see anything wrong with it.