My Cuckold Relationship: Why I choose him over you

As I lay with my husband like I have so many times before, he pushed himself into me but this time was different. This time I didn’t want that from him. Not tonight. Tonight I didn’t want that from him. My hand guided his penis up and away from my pussy with each of his attempts. I held his body close to me and whispered “no baby” and caressed his tummy with my hand. He stopped and we lay there for a long time and I knew his heart ached. My desire was for Ryan and my heart was thinking of my lover and our upcoming weekend tryst. I had to be honest with my husband, right? Before too long, my husband began to grind himself against my stomach. I held his penis with each thrust and he eventually came on his tummy, it didn’t take long. This was a special moment for us and an important step in our journey together. We laid together for a few moments more before he simply asked, why?

My heart is with Ryan and I, I, I just can’t with you. Not right now, I stuttered.

Will we ever? He asked with a timid but inquisitive tone in his voice.

I could hear the hurt in his voice and I replied of course, my love, just not now. Not tonight. In my mind I couldn’t fathom wanting to be with him in that way again. Not with the way Ryan made my heart race and my mind fill with lust and excitement. I knew it would only pass and my sexual recoil from my husband was only temporary as it has been in the past. My body falls for the latest fling but my mind and my heart stay with my husband for always. I am wired for passion and lust and my loving husband provides emotional security and consistency but our passion and lust pales in comparison to the newness because we have intense closeness and intimacy.

Our therapist guided us through this troubling realization as we learned about how I was wired. She called it the limerence period and she said that I thrive on it, I am addicted to it. She went on to acknowledge that most women do not experience life changing sexual experiences and extreme orgasms with their primary partner. This is the relationship cycle and is simply how things work. When couples learn how their bodies work, they evolve to a new level of excitement and satisfaction.

Most evolved relationships in fact benefit from the man gathering his emotional and sexual connection from his female partner while the female is open to meeting her physical and emotional needs from multiple males in a fully transparent and consensual manner. The key to this type of marriage is not only the male’s acceptance but the male’s support and permission for the wife to pursue and enjoy these types of experiences as an expression of his love for her. In fact studies even show that nearly 60% of men are wired to have fantasies of sharing their female partners as an expression of love and gratitude for the sexuality and femininity that their partners bring into the marriage.

My husband not only understands and accepts that there will be other men but he supports and encourages it. The key is to make our evolved relationship about love and support rather than selfish, egotistical and needy control. It was also important for him to know that his sex life would change. Sex in a marriage has an ebb and flow but a cuckold type marriage certainly ebbs and flows more than others. There are seasons where we have frequent sex, there are seasons where we have infrequent sex and there are seasons where our sexual connection is intimate conversation, gentle touching and physical closeness. My sexuality isn’t limited but the cravings seem to be laser focused at times in my life. There will always be room for my husband, I repeat always be room in my sex life for my husband but we both know the definition of that will change. My husband is what allows me the freedom to pursue limerence and newness with other people and bring that energy back to my heart and to our marriage.

The irony is that before I started seeing other men, I wasn’t overly interested in my husband’s penis. Between kids, stress, work and family needs, it wasn’t a priority. Now we both thrive from my seemingly unlimited sexual energy as I’m flirting with someone else. I know he sees the way I look at the cute waiter or the fit bartender or even the delivery man. I love getting my husband hard and keeping him that way because the sweet torture provides positive reinforcement for him as a loving and supportive husband. In fact, the sexuality in our marriage always comes back to him because he is what enables my sexuality and feminine energy to thrive.

Not every husband would consider this type of relationship but we make it work together. Our sexual sessions are directed at my husband’s sexuality and about appeasing or playing from his insecurities about this dynamic. While my husband is equipped with adequate hardware, insecurities pop up and we use those to fuel our play together. The fact that another man in our life that pleases me in ways that he can’t really hits him. It makes his heart ache at times but his penis is hard and we talk frequently to make sure this is what we both want. The sexual dynamic of our marriage is about making my enjoyment and pleasure as intense as possible but bringing that energy back to our bedroom. My husband is always eager to reclaim me but we’ve overcome that necessity now and I find it is best to make him wait and feed his desperation to continually build sexual energy together. Telling him stories as I hold his penis or rubbing him through his trousers is a wonderful to harness that sexual energy together.

Baby, I’m in the mood tonight. Will you call him? I’d like you to sleep in the spare room tonight. Will you do that for me, lover?

Our first experience was on vacation in Florida, we met a man at a bar and the three of us hit it off. My husband and I had discussed a threesome fantasy for months with the two of us and another man. The feeling was electric and my husband and I knew this was a defining moment in our relationship as we both flirted with this man, Ivan. He wasn’t overly attractive but he was well built and had nice shoulders and chest which I find alluring. We eventually had enough to drink and the three of us made our way back to our room. We laid in bed together with me in the middle and each of them on opposite sides of me. I reveled in the excitement and energy of being the center of attention. Before long, shorts came off and the three of us were lying in bed nude and exploring each other. I leaned toward my husband to kiss him and simultaneously arched my back toward Ivan who pushed his cock into me as he grasped me from behind. The feeling was electric and new as a different man was entering me with the full support and encouragement of my husband. I locked eyes with my husband as Ivan pushed deeper and deeper with each thrust. The passion couldn’t muffle my moans as Ivan thrust in and out of me. My body shivered but I never break the gaze I had with my husband. Not only did he seem ok but he seemed like he knew this was right. He seemed like he knew that this threesome wasn’t a threesome anymore but that may be exactly what we need and it may be the next step in the evolution of our marriage. Ivan left and we didn’t capture his contact information, we needed time to discuss and digest where we were at. Was this an evolution of our marriage or perhaps just experimentation of a middle aged couple? The passion and emotional highs we experienced through the remainder of our trip made it clear to us that there would be no going back.

Cuddling with my husband after he’s watched me with my lover all night is so special. I will help you get used to it, I whisper in his ear. It helps to hear that, doesn’t it? See baby, it’s going to be just fine.

If I can offer advice for harnessing this sexual energy it can be summed up with one word. Togetherness. This is something you are doing together and there is no chance of leaving your husband, it is about experiencing life and sexuality together as a couple. Dealing with difficult emotions such as insecurity and jealousy are very real and my husband and I use compersion and humiliation as tools for that purpose. We are fans of SPH which is small penis humiliation and that is a tactic we use most often as a reason for denial. His mind needs justification about why I am denying him and size is a most common asset of male hubris. Male insecurity is so centrally focused on penis size that talking about my boyfriend’s larger size is a great way to create a stirring sensation inside him. Without togetherness you grow apart and in due time will eventually go separate ways. I have no intention of ending my relationship with my wonderful husband and it is key to make this lifestyle about togetherness. Knowing that I have sexual freedom and he does not, I feel like it is my obligation to share stories and give allow sexual outlet of some kind to be certain that my husband’s needs are met. After all, without his loving support this type of relationship simply wouldn’t be possible.

Was it good?

Oh baby it was amazing… I’ve never cum like that before. Next time I want you to join us.

Really?

Yes, it would be so hot watching you stroke yourself while he fucks me.

Making sure that his sexual needs are met doesn’t always look as it has in the past but we try new things and different ways to stimulate new ways to keep the dopamine flowing.

This blog was provided by a Twitter contributor who requested that her identity remain anonymous. If you have questions or comments, please ask them below! If you would like to submit a story, blog or ask Emma idea, please feel free to reach out using my contact form.