I’ve always been opposed to feminization. I am female; a strong and empowered female who knows what she wants. My husband is male; a strong and subservient male that tends to all of my needs. I’ve explored being with a woman and it isn’t my jam, I really prefer men so why on earth would I want to feminize him? I don’t want to take away his masculinity from his identity, he is masculine and he is a wonderful supportive man. None of the terms that define our relationship, sub, cuckold etc make him any less of a man in my eyes. He has not expressed interest in feminization but it seems to run rampant in the circles in which we run. Namely it seems like femininization is perhaps an act of further submission by stripping his masculinity from him. I’m not sure I want that but let’s dig a little bit deeper.
Consider for a moment that feminization doesn’t take his masculinity but it brings him closer to his inner femininity. A cute pair of panties don’t make the woman, nor do they take from a man his masculine energy. What they do is aid in submission and aid in shifting the power balance away from the patriarchal construct and lean further into your female led relationship. As female, your feminine energy will of course be stronger and will guide him as it amplifies the feminine energy in both of you.
I am not speaking of permanent feminization here, I am speaking only of feminization during sexual play including perhaps pegging or erotic roleplay. This dress-up play is a great starting point an while it is limited to sexual play, you shouldn’t underestimate the psychological impact that it will have on him. Dressing for you will likely make him feel exposed, submissive and perhaps a bit humiliated. It has the potential to reduce his male aggression, increase his feminine understanding, make him more attractive in a new and exciting way, make him more submissive and make him more gentle.
Femininity is not humiliating. Let me repeat that, femininity is not humiliating. Dressing a man in panties and a skirt is no different than you wearing jeans and a polo shirt. Yes you heard that right, there is nothing degrading about dressing feminine despite society potentially telling us otherwise. If he feels degraded or humiliated, it might make sense to have him wear feminine articles while lounging around the house and possibly while he does chores. This can be approached as no more than a dress up game for you to enjoy together but it will deepen his understanding of women over time. He will almost undoubtedly become a more attentive lover in the bedroom. Another unexpected benefit is the acknowledgement of female sexual energy will add – not subtract from his overall sexual energy. His levels of sexuality will become more well-rounded and less dependent on gender. Exploring the feminine side of his sexuality will push him out of the box that society constrains him with and might just help him experience his own sexuality in a new and exciting way.
This can be no more than a kinky game that you play together or perhaps you lock and panty him as part of a weekly ritual of some sort. Embracing femininity takes a weight from his shoulders and allows him to experience life from a new angle. You can keep this very vanilla or you can give him a female name and adjust pronouns during your gender play.
Why would we replace the social construct of masculinity with the social construct of femininity and expect that to somehow make him a better partner? What we are doing is identifying the social constructs and embracing them to show compassion, acceptance and understanding. We cannot fully understand social constructs until we embrace and accept the things outside of our comfort zone. Are we oversimplifying femininity by telling him that a pair of panties makes him a woman? Absolutely not, the panties don’t make the woman as much as the strap-on doesn’t make me a man. What it does, is bring inward different gender attributes and allow us to normalize play and acceptance of those traits.
In our home, we don’t go too far with femininity but he does have some panties and outfits and I ask him to dress for me on occasion. He has one pair of heels and watching him try to walk in those is a gas. This isn’t for everyone and I’d never recommend that you force-feminize him because the goal here is not humiliation. Leave that for SPH or other types of bedroom play. Being feminine is not shameful and it never has been. Males in our society are afraid of playing with dolls, the color pink and expressing their emotions. This is about allowing the man you love to release control of his male side to accept and embrace portions of his female side. This isn’t for everyone but I invite you to give it a try if you are so inclined. You might find that his cage pairs quite nicely with a cute pair of panties.