Kev and I have been playing with cross dressing and feminization and it is mostly at my behest. I enjoy seeing him in panties and I enjoy seeing him in a position where he is stripped of his masculine comfortability. Is femininity inherently weak? Of course not! In fact, femininity is stronger in many ways than masculinity but being stripped of what one finds comfortable puts them in a position of sexual disadvantage and with that comes feelings of weakness. Do I dress my husband in a cock cage, with panties and a bra to humiliate him and make him feel lesser than? Yes. I do indeed and it makes me feel strong, empowered and it makes me feel like I am in divine control.
How does this fantasy play out? Fasten your garter belts as I share a recent wonderful evening that we spent together. He texted to let me know that he was on his way home from a meeting and I simply texted that I was excited to see him and we are staying in for the night but I have big plans for him. As we do a weekly lockup, he was caged but I knew he was excited nonetheless as we unlock for mid-week cleanings and sex (sans-ejaculation). He arrived home and I was sitting on the couch but asked him to go straight to the bedroom when I heard him enter. He went into the bedroom to see a pair of pink panties and a camisole laying on the bed accompanied by a note which simply said to shower, get dressed and meet me in the living room.
About ten minutes later, he entered the living room wearing the pink camisole and panties. He didn’t look like a woman and I don’t want him to look like a woman. I simply wanted him to embrace femininity as part of his persona and part of our relationship. I was wearing my cutesy strap-on harness (minus the attachment) and an unbuttoned white men’s work shirt. I was slouching on the couch with my legs spread and a tumbler of scotch sitting on my tummy. I had poured him a glass of white wine while he was getting ready for me. He sat down beside me and I could tell that he was uncomfortable, he always is.
I asked him to stand and model himself for me complimenting his butt and noting the bulge of his cage, not missing the opportunity to thank him for being caged for me. He twirled around I could tell he enjoyed how freeing the tight panties and loose camisole felt on his body. He has expressed that he enjoys the feelings of femininity but feels conflicted for enjoying something. I sat there, enjoying his mental confliction and asked him to dance for me, he isn’t much of a dancer so the emotional discomfort was two fold. I like to see him situationally uncomfortable and thrive on seeing him emotionally vulnerable. After a few minutes I beckoned him toward me and asked him to give me a lap dance while I gently sip my scotch. This role reversal doesn’t do much for me but it fills his feminine energy and I love watching him learn to embrace other types of not only sexualities but sensualities.
I asked him to go to bedroom nightstand and get me the cock that he wanted for the night. I sometimes let him choose and tonight I felt like giving him that choice. He arrived back with a smaller blue dildo and I attached it to my harness, always an easier task when you aren’t wearing them but I didn’t feel like wagging it around the house while I waited for him. From there I instructed him to suck me before retiring to the bedroom for some delightful pegging.
The ungendering foreplay is exciting, humiliating, empowering and I love it. What about it makes me smile and feel empowered? I think it is the changed relationship dynamic for the evening. He doesn’t really like it or if he does, he keeps that part of himself lightly guarded. We would never leave the house with him dressed, it isn’t about making him do something for others. It isn’t about a gender dialog and it certainly isn’t about poking fun at the trans community. It is about accepting that we all have male and female sides of us and exploring the less dominant side of ourselves. It is about allowing him to be comfortable while sexually vulnerable. I am sharing this with you but the experience is innately for the two of us and I only share with you in hopes that you and your partner feel empowered to explore yourselves fully. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you to B.J. Hopkins for the art in this blog.
Great blog Emma! I felt myself nodding quite a bit. I love role play and reversal. Going outside the comfort zones is great. The more I read social media and blogs, the more sick I get with bullshit masculinity. By this I mean, masculinity that is forced, most likely out of insecurity. If you are masculine and comfortable with it, you shouldn’t feel threatened by wearing some panties or lingerie once in a while. Relax, enjoy the juxtaposition and have fun. Let your partner see you squirm and alow them to revel in it. I have had a bit of fun in this myself and feel no less a real man.
Thank you for continuing to share your journey.
Nice. In our case, my femninzation process is far from being forced! As a sexually useless man i want to discover new sides of myself.
Forced feminization, along with enforced male chastity, teasing and denial, corporal punishment, pegging and cuckolding are all normal parts of female led relationships. One part frequently begets others.
Great article and totally relatable As I write this in cage, black fishnets, garters and nails, though as a submissive feminised sissy I hardly have to be forced, though I prefer my wife to choose both my outfits and our activities (as she has today, I prefer brighter colours).
Miss Emma,
It sounds like this was a fun night for both of you!
I will never forget the first time Karin introduced me to my feminine alter ego. She was my girlfriend at the time, as we had been together less than two months.
She went all-out, including taking me to the salon that Her two friends own, for waxing, a complete makeover and change of outfit. Then the four of us went out for a “girls night” of drinks and dancing.
I felt like I must have looked ridiculous and clumsy, at the time having never worn makeup, or a wig, or walked in heels.
While it is infrequent and has happened only a handful of times in our 12 years together, it is always a special thrill when Karin wants to be with Michelle instead of Mick for the night!
The article mentions this is passing, but I think one has to be careful with the sort of kinks we have not to conflate feminine = submissive, or sissy = misogyny, especially for women who read these things.
My feminisation, especially now that it’s non-optional, helps me be a sissy submissive man and it plays to a bunch of kinks. I don’t aspire to being a submissive woman and I wouldn’t want what I do to be mistaken for this.
Married sissies and feminised men are, it seems to me, invariably married to to particularly strong women: I certainly am and while it took her a while to realise the power she had, she now revels in it – as do I.
Femininity is powerful, that is why men invented the patriarchy. The goal of the patriarchy is to assign femininity a place, i.e. among the so-called “weaker sex”, so that femininity can be conquered and possessed. The patriarchy views femininity as a voyeuristic pursuit of a commodity, an objectification. Hence terms like “trophy wife”.
Men who challenge this hierarchy are threats to a social order, and are thus labeled as “fags” or “sissies”, and are ostracized.
Allowing a man to experience femininity and beauty removes him from his place atop the hierarchy that men have built for themselves, a hierarchy that places womyn at the bottom and expects them to obey. So the feminization of men is a great form of empowerment, since it correctly portrays femininity as a lifestyle aspiration and sensation.
If feminizing a man also creates a male who is doting, submissive, and an eager approval-seeker, so much the better. The future belongs to feminist thinkers and collaborators, not male conquerors and dominators.
A great blog, thanks for allowing me to post here.
I prefer the term “coerced” as none of us are really being forced. Early on I hated that I wanted to dress and purged frequently. When I met my current wife, she made me get rid of the cheap stuff and invest in my wardrobe and accessories. She made it acceptable and I now reluctantly embrace it.
I would enjoy feminization and partial submission
We have had many of these evenings. So beautiful to be so submissive to my Wife