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FLR101 – Chapter 5: Stopping that unstoppable train, redirecting him when you are done.

As your man practices retaining his semen, almost every intercourse session will end up with him not ejaculating, and he may feel that the desire to complete the act is unstoppable. This is only one of the most important purposes he has in his life, so teaching him to put the brakes on that runaway train, and postponing ejaculation for 5-7 days while servicing you daily can be a challenge, but it’s possible.

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At this point we need to discuss the “brink”. You’re on your bull ride cranking out those orgasms which for me tonight ratcheted up to 18 full and powerful orgasms.  Thank you, hubby!  Now what do you do with the quivering whimpering mass of man lying between your thighs in excruciating pleasure on the brink.  It’s over for him and he’s still humping the air like something might happen but it’s just not.  Unfortunately, ejaculation is still 5-7 days away for him.  You need to take solace in the fact that the orgasm he’s going to have days from now will be far more mind blowing than the one you could give him now.  Women want so much to please their man, but you need to realize that this delay is the best thing for his health and the long term passion in your relationship.  The most difficult part of getting started with this new life was redirecting him when I’m finished, but it’s not finished for him.  The thought of your husband not finishing probably hasn’t occurred to you before.  It seems like a man finishing is such a given in the western culture. I assure you, men have done this and lived to tell about it.  This is not routine boring married sex.  This will be the most intense sex your husband has probably had in his life, so he should be in good health.  Your husband probably will not die despite the look of him at the moment you dismount and just walk away.  I mean …he could die, some men die during sex every day.  So, maybe …..but probably not….but he could.  Life is such a gamble.  Let’s just say I was willing to bet my husbands life on it.  I love my husband enough to risk his life to make sure he has the most mind blowing sex everyday he’s in this realm, and I’ll love my next husband the same way.  I’m not a medical medium.  Your husband could die.

Males have an almost insurmountable urge to complete the act and plant their seed.  After all, it’s what their designed to do.  And if your trying to have a baby, by all means let him proceed with his duty.  So, just stopping and moving to another activity may almost seem incomprehensible to him.  In fact to a male new to this, it is very incomprehensible!! ….like newtonian physics to a five year old.  Just put it away!? But how!? It’s not possible!  Trust me, it’s possible.  Men in eastern traditions have done it for a thousand years or more.  The masters would have regular intercourse and ejaculate once in six months.  It’s not easy for him.  Support him, tell him how important it is to you.


After thrusting me to 18 orgasms, his emotional state is a little fragile, and I imagine if I could open his brain case, there would be nothing but tapioca pudding swimming in a dopamine soup.  If it were left to him, there’s no question he would opt for ejaculation.  That’s why it’s up to the woman as his dopamine dealer to step in and make the right call for this helpless dopamine addict at this critical moment.  Only she has the clarity at this point to see the future and what’s best for him and the relationship.  And this is why the consequences discussed in the last article are so important for unauthorized ejaculation.  Because even in his wrecked brain at this moment he remembers the stimulus that was applied almost a year ago that eliminated masturbation from his life.  And if he has a spill, it will be applied again.  Thirty minutes later after he’s pulled himself together and has his head on straight, he’ll thank you for it.

Though, I would love nothing better than to finish him off,  I know there’s a greater good involved.  Every mom knows you don’t give a toddler a bag of Oreos just because they’ve been good, and they really, really want them badly.  Men are not women.  They are not built for pleasure the same way.  A woman can have orgasm after orgasm and be energized and ready for a full yoga and Qigong routine.  A man has one orgasm and is exhausted and ready for a nap.  I’m convinced that frequent ejaculation is one huge factor for low testosterone levels I see in my practice.  He must retain for health reasons and spiritual ones.  This isn’t some BDSM fetish to be mean for the sake of being mean.  We’re talking about the couple progressing together and finding their true natures as the male practices retaining his semen.  So, in the spirit of the Oreo analogy in which orgasms are cookies,  the toddler gets a cookie but mom can have the whole bag.  It’s not a woman superiority thing.  It’s just the laws of nature.  Men lose chi with too many orgasms, and women only gain chi with each orgasm.  It’s why I don’t have a refractory period, and I can have 18 orgasms in 18 minutes.  If your yoni is not already awakened, I hope these articles can help get you there, and you too will be able to eat the whole bag everyday ….and give your man a cookie every 5-7 days.  He will derive much pleasure, Jing and chi from watching you eat the whole bag. 


As your scraping the crumbs from the bottom of Oreo cookie bag and licking them from your fingers, tell him how proud you are of him, and how much you admire him for giving to the relationship in this way.  I praise him and tell him how good the session was, and recount the highlights for him, and how amazing sex is now that he’s retaining, and emphasize how much bigger his cock feels inside me now that he’s retaining and how much of a difference it makes to my pussy.  I also emphasize how big his penis feels during sex with phrases like, “God! I Love big dicks!”.  This is something you might want to go on and on about.  He won’t get tired of hearing it, and he’ll need the encouragement, and it lets him know how virile you think he is.  I rate the orgasms for him on a scale of 1 to 10.  He really likes that.  I also keep a calendar recording daily how many orgasms he’s given me so he can see at a glance what he’s done for me.  His stamina is incredible practicing semen retention, and should be acknowledged.  And if all that doesn’t persuade him, tell him that sex is just as good or better with him practicing semen retention now as it was with Steve your boyfriend back in your old college days.  He will then be fully on board with it.  The rewards will be many.

He’s transitioning from a penis centric boy to a man that is truly worthy of being inside a woman.  This is truly a rite of passage for him.  As women we need to raise the boys that we marry and teach them how to be men, something their mothers couldn’t.  50% of marriages end in divorce, and from looking around me, I assume another 40% are living in dead marriages.  I’m hoping these articles will help a bit to change that.  A man pleasures a woman helping her transcend.  A boy takes his and leaves her in the puddle.  He needs to realize that your orgasm is his orgasm.  The chi energy that he generates, you will both draw from.  And just the pleasure of intercourse, and being inside you is a privilege.  He will experience an intensity in intercourse over that 5-7 day period that he’s never experienced before,  and you will need to develop a strategy to disengage from the urges of a highly aroused copulating male and restore him to a functioning state without ejaculation.

This transition from thrusting and stopping without completion can be a big hump to get over for him.  I don’t mean to be graphic here, but this is the most effective way I’ve found to deal with this transition.  I’m almost always on top riding the bull until I’m almost to orgasm, and when I’m on the brink, I jump off onto his face, and he licks me to climax. And rinse and repeat about 9 more times … sometimes 18.  On the last time, after my orgasm, Instead of getting up and walking all ten feet to the bathroom to pee, I use the “Open” command and just use the convenience that’s already between my thighs, and have him hold it in his mouth until he cools off losing his erection.  Meanwhile, while he’s holding it in his mouth, I can use the bathroom and get dressed with no annoying begging and then give him permission to spit it out as I’m walking out of his room.  He can then get his thoughts together in private and put his world back together, as I assure you, it has been rocked.  It’s a beautiful thing.  This method seems to work the bulk of the time.  It completely redirects his attention to another more pressing need for release.  The begging can be an issue, and this 100% deals with that without hassle.  I think it also reaffirms his status as well as mine in the new relationship. I don’t know why, but I enjoy this immensely.  It makes me giggle inside. We just stumbled on to this mainly because I’m a bit of a squirter, but it’s a handy little trick to keep in your bag assuming you’re clean of any infectious disease.  In ten minutes he’s stopped seeking completion, back to normal and ready to move on to our other activities.  This time after sex is always the most difficult for him, and this makes it almost effortless. I like to alleviate as much frustration as possible for him.  This is just one method, you’ll need to find your own method that works for you as a couple.

When he’s on top, and I’ve had my last orgasm, I use the “OFF!” command which I issue firmly with authority, and he knows he needs to stop thrusting, disengage, and let me get up.  I might let him cool himself down by letting him pull on it for awhile without ejaculation of course.  He can also transmute that energy by doing the dishes etc.  He’s now pretty much accepted that ejaculation isn’t going to happen.  Again, western males have always accepted culturally that they will ejaculate during intercourse so initially it can be difficult to break them of that habit.  Once you have him broken in and this becomes the norm, you can focus on other aspects of your relationship defining boundaries as you wish.

Another method that can be successful after your completely satisfied and he needs to cool down is to practice Karezza.  Karezza is where the man remains in the woman without moving.  You can still be intimate as his penis loses it’s erection from not being stimulated, and then you can transition to other activities.  This does take longer than the other two methods.  Personally, I like to end it and disengage more quickly.  If you use the karezza method, I would stipulate that there is to be no begging or pleading to go longer.  The karezza method is probably the more gentle method of getting him to transition.

For his own health and spiritual well being, he needs someone detached from his own unstoppable lust to step up and say “NO.”  He needs to be in a sustained state of arousal for days before he’s replenished, and I love him enough to do it.  And on his special day when he hears the release command “You may release now,”  he will release immediately in the most convulsive powerful manner, and he will still be energized.  Why doesn’t he want to take a nap after this?  Is it that there is too much energy and nutrients built up that can’t completely be drained by one release?  Exactly!  If there is built up nutrients/chi, he can release occasionally without being depleted.  In fact, periodic release is probably a good thing to maintain his sexual interest, arousal and steel hard erections for intercourse.   It’s more of a male maintenance issue.  If a tire is over inflated it’s not a good thing.  It could blow.  Some pressure must be released but not all.  A car won’t run at all with flat tires.

It just so happens that in the interim days between ejaculations, he loves to massage me, clean the kitchen, hand wash my clothes, and take my bitchiness gladly (I’m usually very cute and endearing).  All that other stuff is just a happy side effect of practicing semen retention under the guidance of a firm women’s hand.  It’s a natural part of his new biology.  And I indulge it by making demands and setting rules.  To do otherwise, would be to neglect his new needs, and women need to acknowledge that a semen retaining male has new needs that he didn’t have before.  It’s really the semen retention that sets the roles for both of us.  It’s like the chi brewing in his bag is guiding the relationship to its natural state.  How is this right?  To me these principles are confirmed by his energy level after sex.  Retaining is the natural state of the male, not continual depletion.  Retaining semen, after sex he’s full of energy and ready to take on the world.  With regular ejaculation, he’s wasted exhausted, depleted and ready for a nap.  What’s right for the woman is not right for the man.  It’s just a yin yang principle.  I orgasm.  He doesn’t.  The male gives. The woman receives. These forces interact to form a dynamic system in which the whole is greater than the assembled parts.

The moment before climax is a critical bonding moment for the male in his relationship with the female which I will explore further in later articles.  By postponing ejaculation, he will extend this preclimax period during intercourse for much longer than males that ejaculate every time during intercourse.  With every thrust while he is on the brink but not ejaculating, you are cementing a bond with your male.  It’s my contention that his brain is being rewired in these moments.  If you apply this bonding therapy every day, you will grow more intimate as you transcend in your relationship.  As women come to understand the biology of their men and how this pair bonding occurs, I believe this will produce a cultural change in our society.   ~Namaste

Thanks to my hubby for helping with the graphics!  …and the orgasms.

DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband.  Every relationship should be safe, sane and consensual.  Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.


Joey k

Friday, July 15, 2016
You mentioned that you see males with low-testosterone in your practice, I’m curious what you mean by that. From the male point of view, I can definitely tell that girls notice when I’m retaining compared to when I’m not. Retaining definitely leads a man to maintain better eye contact, carry himself better, and just generally have more confidence. Besides the obvious ones you’ve detailed with your husband, are there certain things about males in your practice where you can tell they are not operating at their highest potential?

Yoga Girl

Friday, July 15, 2016
Yes. A lab test. If they complain of fatigue, erectile dysfunction, or lack of sexual interest like they once had, or sometimes even depression, I’ll order a testosterone blood test and see that the result is low and not in the normal range. This is an objective measurement, so I know for a fact that my patient has low testosterone. Especially males with diabetes or pre-diabetes, or males that are older than 50 and overweight, low testosterone levels are an epidemic.

If they are just a little below normal, I may encourage nutrition, supplements such as zinc, and sexual stimulation without ejaculation except for every so many days, depending on the age and health of the male, to increase their testosterone level naturally rather than prescribe testosterone. I prefer this because once starting testosterone, it kind of shuts down their natural ability to create it. The body gets lazy because it doesn’t have to produce any testosterone since it’s getting it from outside sources. So if they ever run out, they are extremely fatigued because their levels plummet dramatically.

Hope this helps.

Joey k

Friday, July 15, 2016
Yeah I’m familiar with the negative effects steroid substances can have. Zinc definitely has a major effect on the endocrine system and has been proven to increase testosterone levels and seminal volume. I use Zinc after I ejaculate (and during retention) and it makes a huge difference. One recovers a lot faster after ejaculation if Zinc is used. There are also certain herbal supplements that have major effects as well like Ashwagandha and Tribulus Terrestris that have been subject to clinical studies and shown to produce results (I’ve personally used Ashwagandha and it works very well). Have you ever tried to get any of your patients into real semen retention?

Yoga Girl

Saturday, July 16, 2016
I’ve recommended Ashwagandha for a number of them and encourage them to eat oysters or take a supplement for zinc replacement after ejaculation, but I’m not familiar with Tribulus Terrestris. I’ll have to look into it. Thanks for the info. I have encouraged semen retention, but the majority of men react like this is simply an impossibility. There have been a few who have been willing to consider it. Whether they truly have even gone a few days with having stimulation without ejaculating, I don’t know. Some have admitted to me that when they use to have problems with porn addiction and frequent masturbation, they felt depressed and exhausted but didn’t understand why until our discussion.

How do you define “real” semen retention? What is your typical time between ejaculations?

Joey k

Monday, July 18, 2016
What I meant by “real” in this case is when you said “sexual stimulation without ejaculation except for every so many days”, I took that to mean not a real semen retention routine but rather just “don’t ejaculate so much”. In my experience, there is a major difference between a short period like a few days, and a longer period like multiple weeks.

I try to go as long as I can, generally this ends up being around 7 days. My longest has been around 25 days, and that was the best I’ve ever felt doing SR. The longer the better I think is the general rule.


Wednesday, October 05, 2016
Ive read all your chapters. I love them. I’m planning on introducing your site to my girlfriend of 4 years. She and I do not love together, but spend the weekends at my house with our children. We look forward to sex on the weekends, but afterwards, I’m usually so drained that I lose all interest in any form of intimacy. It’s like the moment I orgasm, that lust is instantly gone.
My girlfriend and I dabble in some BDSM. She has me wear a cock cage during the week and only let’s me out for tease and denial and for love making. We found that by not masturbating during the week I am thinking loving, intimate thoughts about her during the week and being more attentive during our weekends together.
I’m wondering; though, because we’re not together during the week, I can’t pleasure her and build up that desire to orgasm like your husband does. Is there anything we can do during the week besides keeping my cock in a cage to help in that area?

Yoga Girl

Thursday, October 06, 2016
That’s hard if your not together every day for her to be stimulated, and for her to stimulate you daily. The only real stimulation is through the phone which can be arousing. The cock cage can be an important concrete symbol for a man to display his total enslavement and commitment to his woman for her to see.

My only reservation about the cock cage is that it restrains my husband’s raging morning erections and the other erection cycles that a penis goes through during a man’s sleep. I feel it’s important for the penis to be stretched and engorged during those cycles to maintain its performance even though masturbation is forbidden. If the penis wants to be erect, I want it to do that even if I won’t be using it. If a man can’t resist playing with it, that can be easily remedied with the proper consequences, and if she’s open to BDSM, those consequences can be quite severe if it would be enjoyable for her. If you weren’t wearing the cage, perhaps daily calls from her to check up on you would build desire in you and her throughout the week.

This is one of a few blogs that were published by Yoga Girl at her website at http://flr101.blogspot.com. This site is now offline but all credit goes to her. 



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