As you undoubtedly know, women enjoy a great rush with an orgasm but it isn’t quite the same as men. Depending on mood, stress and hormone levels, women can go for days or weeks without even wanting an orgasm. Men aren’t quite the same for a few reasons. Let’s go through the effects of a man that isn’t permitted to release his sperm.
When a woman enjoys an orgasm, her body releases some hormones that give her pleasure but those hormones don’t really build up over time. Men have a physical body part that fills up over time and they feel an absolute need to release their sperm. This is a evolutionary thing, men need to spill their seed so they can continue the species. If men had no desire to use their penises (penii? hah) it would end the human race rather quickly. What we are talking about here is manipulating your man’s natural sexual desire to strengthen your relationship. The natural sexual desire is the source of wandering eyes and marriage itself is designed to manipulate the natural sexual desires.
Sperm are created and develop on a 72 day cycle called spermatogenesis (I’ll try and keep the big words to a minimum, this isn’t that kind of blog). Testicles are a big mass of tubing that if uncoiled would be about 25 feet long (each). The sperm travels through this tube and when ejaculation happens, it is mixed with semen a watery substance that helps the sperm survive in the not so delicate, acidic environment of a vagina. When ejaculation happens before sperm can be produced, it can appear more watery because you are seeing fluid with very low levels of sperm in it.
- 1 Day – Not much happens. Maybe some desire. Most men masturbate once or twice a day but it isn’t the end of the world if they skip a day since there isn’t much pressure to speak of. Daily masturbation is more of a habit, not a biological need.
- 2 Days – Typically men start to feel some pressure on the second day as their testicles are used to a daily release. While there still isn’t a biological need, they can start to feel uncomfortable as their testicles start to fill up.
- 3 Days – With sufficient protein and zinc intake, it takes about three days for a man’s testicles to fill up. By this time a man who is used to daily masturbation is really starting to feel like he needs a release to help ease the discomfort that he is feeling. Imagine the cramps and bloating that you feel during your period but confined to one much smaller area of your body. It is no lie, they really do need to release their spunk. Also at this time when aroused, pre-cum will leak after about the third day. I find that he is the most cranky around day three.
- 5 Days – After the third day, the testicles are full in most men. At the 3-5 day mark, sperm will be the healthiest and will lose their motility (ability to swim well) after the fifth day. If you were trying to conceive, you would want to “clean out his pipes” every three days to ensure that the sperm in each ejaculation is as healthy as possible. He will feel uncomfortable here but aside from some pressure and aching, it shouldn’t be significant.
- 6-8 Days – By the seven day mark, he will start to feel some real discomfort as his body will be accustomed to constant sperm production. He will start having some emotions typically associated with female PMS as sperm production shuts down. The seven day mark is where the body starts absorbing some of the hormones related to sperm production to keep the sperm alive. This absorption will be unfamiliar to the frequent masturbator and he may lash out or appear cranky with these new emotions as the hormones are released back into his body instead of being released into a tissue or wherever his semen is typically released. If he is allowed a release at this point, the full amount of semen cannot be released and many of the hormone levels will remain in his body. My preference is to keep a man on a seven day cycle (give or take a day).
- 10 -14 Days – Extended periods up to two weeks won’t hurt but don’t significantly help. The benefit to a lockup of this length is when using lockup as a punishment since the mild discomfort turns to a throbbing pain/discomfort. hormones continue throughout this period. He can begin to be cranky or irritable but the consequence of extending his lockup by a day or two will usually get this under control.
- 15+ Days – Not my cup of tea. Typically they start to get depressed and even resentful. Consequences must be increased as the threat of a day or two extension isn’t as impactful anymore. The body adapts to the new hormone levels and the man will lose a bit of his edge but become more subservient and quiet. Benefits of a long lockup like this can last a while after release so feel free to use a good long lockup to kick start a new relationship.
Ejaculation Cycles For Effective Management
- Seven Day – This is my favorite cycle for my guy. After release he will have heightened levels of Oxytocin and be generally more agreeable/mold-able by the third or fourth seven day cycle. You will notice a man on a seven day cycle will tend to be more loving, more willing to do things around the house like cleaning and parenting. Hormones released before ejaculation will linger in the body for the next five to seven days so you will get an overall better man when you’ve got him on his 7 day cycle. You will find that this will get you a more verbal male capable of deeper more emotional conversations. After about the third day, he will open up and have share feelings that he wouldn’t normally share. His increasing hormones will encourage him to talk and share his feelings. Once you are on a good seven day cycle, you can expect to build a deeper connection with him.
- 14 Day – I do mix these in from time to time but they are usually attached to a punishment. Typically the pain and discomfort associated with the longer lockups will keep him much happier to be back on his normal lockup cycle. There are hormonal benefits here since hormones do continue to build through the cycle. I go to the 14 day cycle a few times a year when I want him to be especially compliant or as a punishment when he messes up. If we take him off the his normal cycle because we are traveling or life gets in the way, I will usually kick start things with a 14 day cycle.
- 30 Day – I really don’t do these much as they can tend to make him resentful or depressed. They can be great if your fella is especially cocky, arrogant or fights you with the process.
- 30+ Days – I don’t ever do more than 30 days, it just isn’t my thing. A man needs to have his orgasms and they do him good. A constant reminder of the reward that I hold the keys to.
- Irregular/Unscheduled – Some couples may want to do this infrequently to add a boost to your relationship. While I am confident that you will eventually end up with one of the above release schedules, this is a great place to start.
What If I Go Longer?
I have tried going longer than the time-frames that I suggested above and his sex drive seemed to wane. After a week he is frustrated and sore. After two weeks he is sore, distracted and grumpy. After three weeks, he starts to get very emotional, sad, crying, whining etc. After a month he starts to get apathetic and defeated. I put him on testosterone booster pills, had him look at porn and ramped up the teasing a bit but it didn’t really do much. I suppose the old adage of “if you don’t use it, you lose it” may be true for penises or at least sexual desire. I say keep him going with releases every week or two tops and you will harness all of his manly vigor without any real side effects. My sample size of locked men is small so feel free to experiment, maybe mine have been exceptions.
What is The Perfect Ejaculation Cycle?
Finding the perfect cycle for your man will help set expectations for his scheduled release and it is important that you help him understand the reasoning behind his schedule. The lockup schedule will help him get on track so you can have the five star relationship that you’ve always wanted/expected. Don’t forget to compliment the behaviors that you like when he exhibits them so he knows your expectation and can continue to repeat the behaviors that you enjoy. If you have decided to go the irregular/unscheduled route, consider explaining to him that you like when he self-locks and hands you the key especially when you are feeling down or upset with him. It does feel great to receive a hug and a key since he knows that you are upset and will be needing all of that redirected sexual energy for whatever you are going through. A thoughtful guy is a locked guy than a self-locked guy is so much more.
This acclimation process typically takes a few months. Emotionally he will go through the standard Five Stages of Grief… denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. Once he’s gone through that, something amazing will happen. He will not only get used to wearing a chastity device, he will actually feel naked when it’s off. During his weekly release (typically Sunday) he tells me that he doesn’t sleep as well since he is required to sleep without his cage.
Over time, you’ll be amazed at how much it will diminish his selfishness, take the edge off some of the harsher aspects of his masculinity, and improve his attitude. He will become highly motivated to please and keep you happy. He will learn and come to accept that your sexual pleasure comes first, and that his is secondary – and that sexually pleasing a woman very little to do with his penis. True pleasure for us comes from his attitude, willingness to help and be thoughtful. Sexually we get plenty of pleasure from his fingers, his mouth, and his tongue. During this time, he will become expert at eating you out and may actually ask you what you like sexually. You will also see that his sexual energy is redirected in non-sexual ways. Typically massages are offered willingly with no pressure or guilt when a simple shoulder massage doesn’t turn into sex.
From a very high level it may appear as if you are simply withholding sex in the hopes that your man will work hard in hopes of sexual gratification but it is more complex than that. Sex is a primal human need (sleep, food, water, sex) and has deep emotional and psychological roots. When you manipulate the sexual relationship you are reaching past his consciousness and manipulating him at a much deeper level. As a result of this sexual manipulation, your his emotions and feelings about you and your relationship become fundamentally altered.
Soon, your sexual energy and authority become synonymous and he will see you as the authority in the relationship. If you attempted to use sex as a tool, it would be very obvious and he would grow resentful – as is very common in relationships. If you were to use power only, he would grow resentful and find your hostility a turn-off. When you combine sexual energy and the undeniable power that comes with it, he very quickly becomes addicted from deep in his psyche. His body and mind change and he will soon submit himself to your authority. He will begin to find great joy in doing things that please you.
Devices & Teasing
Most men do require devices to enforce these cycles. I’ve tried the honor system before and it rarely works. When the honor system is used, ensure that you check the consistency of his semen when he is allowed to release. After the third day, he should always be leaking pre-cum when aroused. I like to lean forward in front of him and present myself to him. Moan a bit and grind back into his cage while teasing him and reminding him how much I miss his penis. I will then check to make sure that there is visible leakage. Added benefit of teasing is that it helps keep him in an aroused state to keep sperm and hormone production high. After doing this for some time, I’ve also come to prefer the look of a locked penis to a flaccid one but that one is just personal preference.
What If My Man Had a Vasectomy?
Only about two to five percent of what he ejaculates is actually sperm. The real benefits of managing his ejaculation cycles is from his body reclaiming the fluids that are typically released along with the sperm when his ejaculation happens. This fluid comes from his prostate, seminal vesticles and is where the hormones and the real benefits come from. The only difference with a man with a vasectomy is that his semen will generally be clearer than a man who is producing health sperm. Your man will still feel the same discomfort and urges to ejaculate as a man who is still producing healthy sperm and most importantly, you will still get the same hormonal benefits.
Should He Eat His Own?
This is where I sometimes lose people and this is totally optional but I feel like it is a good idea since it is something that he undoubtedly doesn’t want to do. While it may sound kinky at first and a locked guy will likely agree to it easily, just make sure that he agrees to it before it leaves his body or he will become interested. So I do frequently ask him to eat his cum because it does reinforce dominance and ingesting those little swimmers has some proven health benefits. If you want to read about the benefits, you can do that here. My recommendation is that you not move too quickly with this one. Start with the lockup and throw this one in when you feel that the opportunity presents itself or you want to deepen his submission to you.
That’s it for now. Let me know if you want me to talk about anything specific. I am kinda enjoying the opportunity to get my thoughts out of my head and onto the internet so I’ll keep this up for a while.
I keep coming back here day after day and learn something new each time. I think you have enough material for a book, Emma. Thanks for all the work you put in for our benefit.
So glad that you are enjoying the site! I feel like I still have so much learning to do before I am ready to publish a book but it isn’t out of the question. I just need to feel like I am at a stopping point or turning point in my journey so I can write about it from start to finish. I feel like I’ve got a beginning and we are somewhere in the middle for now. I’ve also never published a book so I don’t even know where to start!! Thanks for the kind words!
I have to admit that it is pretty embarrassing how little I, as a man, know about this topic or am consciously aware of its predictably cyclical nature. On many occasions I’ve tried (and failed) to stick to some sort of schedule, in the hope of using regular and/or much reduced masturbation to help with my motivation, mood or ability to focus on life tasks. Without oversight, it just never happened, or I simply wasn’t able to look at myself objectively enough to figure out what the desired outcomes should be or whether I was achieving them.
My wife has never been very demanding when it comes to limiting my orgasms. A week is about as long as she has ever asked me to go. I would submit to longer periods of denial if that pleased her, but I think I would find it challenging. But then, I have never found that my desire to please her drops off after an orgasm. Gratitude motivates me to continue to serve her after I cum, especially when she makes me cum with her own hand as a treat. But I acknowledge that there is an intense feeling of submissiveness when I have just given her an orgasm either with my tongue or one of her toys and she tells me there will be no orgasm for me.
a really good way to condition him like that.
as a man i would encourage the woman not to stick to 7 days but to keep it very variable. so sometimes 5 and sometimes 14 days. in no case a fixed frame and thus make the man’s life too safe.
play with him and after 7 days simply extend or shorten 2 or 3 days. always surprise him and leave him in the dark.
okay, there has to be the time freedom.
i am sure that the man can get used to 2 or 3 weeks without any problems and stay balanced. it just must not suddenly just become more and he is torn out of his habit. preventing the habit is the key.
We are retired and I retired a couple of years before my wife. She found out I had been masturbating at home while she was at work. She wasn’t too happy thinking about being at work and i was home pleasuring myself. That is how we got started with chastity. I started wearing a stainless steel device during the day time only, I could take it off when she got home, although sometimes I did just sleep in it. I would have it on before she left and at first, took it off as soon as she got home, later I wore until bedtime. We still had sex some, mostly on the weekend.
You would be surprised how much more I got done around the house not wasting so much time. It even surprised me. I was way more productive, cleaned house, took care of the yard, shopping etc.
@Russ195 Has your frequency of sex changed at all the longer you have been locked up and now that your wife is retired?
No frequency of sex has not changed, it did for a while, we did it more. But after a few months, she cut down a lot of sex activity. I don’t lock up as much, she is always around. She has me go shopping with her most of the time so I am not left alone at the house. The thought of me playing while she is gone is not good in her mind. We still have sex, but she controls how often.
Yep, doing other stuff to distracte you from the cage.
This is such a good post, I keep re-reading it. Like much of male chastity the denial cycle is very couple eccentric and important for both. I think how long someone can go, may have a lot to do with how much intercourse they are having during the denial – that could just be me though. We still haven’t found that point of diminished returns, so we continue to add days or weeks from the last longest denial period currently pushing passed 6 – 8 weeks.
If you’d like to maximize the chastity lock up experience for both of you, try gradually extending his periods of chastity. i.e. if 7 days is your favorite cycle, extend it to 9 days for awhile. His body will get used to this, then after a few months, then you can go for 11 days. This will maximize his sexual frustration and tension, as well as lend some variety to the experience. (Don’t forget to edge and tease him!)
Hahahaha. “A few months”. You are funny.
My wife wasn’t a big believer in the “ease into things” approach. More like “throw ya of the cliff” approach. Much more exciting lol.
My complements on your discipline. If I were locked for more than a week, I’d be climbing the walls.
That’s what I said … a few months ago.