Life has been busy, what can I say. I’ve been away for a few weeks but I figured that I would start back with a quick blog about some do’s and don’ts for a successful relationship that employs male chastity. I owe you all some updates and I promise I’ll get to them very soon. In the meantime, here are some do’s and don’ts to help you allow yourself to accept extra attention, affection and communication that goes hand and hand with male chastity. Most relationships are starved for intimacy. Make changes and start today. Lock him up, buttercup!
Communication is essential in any relationship but especially so when you are locking up an essential part of your partner’s anatomy. The lockup isn’t meant as a means of punishment, it is meant as a way of working together to direct his sexual energy toward you. Without proper communication this approach is bound to backfire. When you cage your guy, he will almost immediately become more communicative. Much of this communication will be about his cage but redirect that conversation to real and meaningful topics. A couple that communicates regularly is unstoppable and will overcome nearly any obstacle. Using something as simple as a lock and key as a metaphor for your love will give you a tool to keep him talking and encourage him to express his feelings.
Do find a cage that fits properly
The intention isn’t to cause soreness or injury due to improper cage fitment. A properly fitting cage is essential for success. Whether you are using the cage for a weekend or a month, the intention is for him to eventually forget that the cage is there. The cage eventually will give him a sense of security, comfort and reassurance of your love for him. An improperly fitting cage will become a challenge to your success. A properly fitting cage can be worn while doing most daily activities but it may take some trial and error to find a cage that fits him perfectly. Every anatomy is different so finding the right cage might take some trial and error.
Do tease him regularly
Teasing him daily or several times a day keep things exciting for him and help him remember that you are in charge of his orgasms and keep his sexual energy focused on you. Teasing can be as simple as a reminder that he is locked. Waving your car keys with a knowing smile. Giving his cage a firm tug through his pants. Key necklaces are wonderful as you can see his eyes dart down while you are talking to him. You can see his attention on your necklace as a gentle reminder of your love for him. Arousal can take many forms; from a soft caress of his arm to other non-orgasmic activities like pegging or requesting a massage from him. This is a chance to be overly and overtly sexual without feeling the pressure for more. I like to bend over, spread my legs, flash my tits, lick my lips in extremely obvious attempts to get his sexual juices flowing.
Do take your time
When you implement male chastity, it doesn’t need to immediately be a full time lockup. Try for an hour or two at a time. After a few brief lockup periods, try sending him to work locked. If that works, let him sleep in his cage. Involuntary overnight erections will be a challenge the first few nights but they can be easily releived by getting up to urinate. When a man has an erection, it is impossible for him to urinate and his body does it to prevent urination during sleep.
Do embrace his frustration
Acknowledging and embracing his frustration is a wonderful way to make him feel loved. Use his frustration as a motivational tool. Do you need yardwork done? Use his newly found energy as a way to motivate him to do yard work. Could he stand to lose a few pounds? Using weight loss as a goal for unlocking is a great way to have a goal that results in a slimmer trimmer boyfriend/husband. Do you need a massage or perhaps oral love? His sexual energy is wonderfully suited for physical touch. He will want to touch you and please you. Don’t miss out!
Don’t eliminate sex
Sex is a great way to reinforce the bond between you and your guy but sex does not always need to end in a male orgasm. How does that work? This part is easy! You stop having sex when you are finished and lock him up. He knows when he is getting close and you do as well. Does he finish too early? Have him do some oral on you first and perhaps give you an orgasm or two prior to initiating any PIV sex. Make sex about your pleasure and about satisfying your physical needs first and foremost.
Don’t forget about hygiene
Washing is important. His cage may develop a slight pee smell if he doesn’t wipe urine off completely when urinating. He should wipe his cage off with a wet washcloth from time to time and ensure that the soap and water in the shower gets in all of the nooks and crannies. It isn’t likely that he will get an infection but nobody wants to touch a stinky winky so cleanliness will get him the attention that he wants.
Don’t unlock him too hastily
There is little doubt that he will complain. Locking his wee-wee in a cage isn’t an easy thing and it won’t feel natural. It will take some time for you both to experience the benefits of locking him up. If he doth complain too much or if you get tired of keeping track of his sexual organ, I implore you to give it more time. Give it another day. Or two. The changes in both intimacy and communication with even the most stoic of men is mind blowing. To most of us sex is an important component of life but to men sex is a key part of their identity and essential to what makes the feel like a man.
Don’t forget to set expectations
He will look to you for many things but structure will help him accept your sexual leadership and it will help him submit to your wishes. An added benefit is that it will stop the nagging that will almost certainly happen when you first lock him up. You don’t have to give him an unlock date, you simply have to give him rubric of what his lockup will look like. When Kev is locked, we don’t talk about his cage unless I bring it up or he experiences discomfort that we need to address. At the beginning he felt the need to constantly remind me that he was locked up. Honey, you are acting like a completely different guy. I am very aware that you are locked up and your nagging won’t get you unlocked one second sooner. Quite the contrary, the more you nag clearly the longer you need to stay locked up.
Don’t forget to have fun with it
Both genders have their share of pros and cons and we are different. We are wired differently and we have different bits and pieces. Denying either of those things is denial of the very essence of being human. The biggest benefit of being a couple, is to learn about each other, share a wonderful connection and grow together as a unit. Grow together as a team. A properly communicated male chastity relationship will do just that, help you grow together and help direct sexual energy toward the betterment of the relationship. At the beginning, it may seem like work but as you both learn to enjoy his angst and sexual frustration you will grow closer and more intimate. Regardless of what you do and how you do it, enjoy each other, respect each other and treat each other well.