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FLR101 – Chapter 9: Strengthening pair bonding with pre-climax stimulation

All good science attempts to explain what is observed, and I observe that when my male subject ejaculates frequently, he is assertive, dominant, and aggressive. When he retains semen with daily stimulation, he is submissive and compliant craving a controlling, severe, female authority. Why?

For many years researchers have tried to explain the mechanics of pair bonding of animals and humans, and they’ve discovered a link between vasopressin and monogamy in the prairie vole. Researchers at the Center for Molecular Medicine, Emory University, Atlanta, Georgia injected vassopressin into montane (anti social) voles and they exhibited increased affiliative behavior after injection with arginine vasopressin.

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The prairie vole is a rodent that is used by researchers as a model to explore human pair bonding. Why? Because they have an unusually high amount of vasopressin recepters, and prairie voles pair for life after their first mating. They may take an occasional sexual partner other than their partner, but they stick together through thick and thin.


Then there’s the montane vole. They are basically the same species as the prairie vole, but they don’t have as many vasopressin receptors as the prairie vole. Consequently they don’t pair for life. This is why researchers speculate that vasopressin may be the monogamy hormone or play a strong part in life long pairing.

Humans do not have as many vasopressin receptors as prairie voles. For some reason humans hold up the ideal of monogamy, but only about 50% seem to accomplish it successfully. I would speculate that humans don’t have as many vasopressin receptors because we simply don’t make as much vasopressin. What would happen if we could make more vasopressin naturally, and if it’s possible, how? And what would be the point as we don’t have that many vasopressin receptors anyway?


Can we create more vasopressin receptors? Well, we know that when people are vitamin D deficient they have fewer D receptors, but when we raise their vitamin D levels with supplementation, more D receptors begin to appear on the cell membranes. It appears that when there’s more of a substance, cells develop the capability to utilize it. So, I’m just going with the idea that if one could make more vasopressin, then more vasopressin receptors would appear. And possibly if we could do that, it would strengthen the pair bond of the male to the female like the prairie voles.

How do we increase vasopressin, and if we can, how would it affect the behavior of a human male? One study (Murphy et. 1987) reported that plasma vasopressin levels were elevated during sexual arousal prior to orgasm, but whether that corresponds with higher uptake in the brain is unclear. In Murphy’s study, the vasopressin level returns to baseline after ejaculation. Ejaculation doesn’t happen with my male during the majority of our sexual encounters, so I assume the vasopressin level would remain elevated for a significantly longer time than Murpy’s 13 aroused men that ejaculated. I would hypothesize that prolonged sessions of sexual arousal without ejaculation would increase and sustain vasopressin levels for a longer time; thereby, strengthening the pair bond with the female partner.

Young states “Normally, they (voles) have to mate all night long for the pair-bond to form.” Okay, I’m not going to have sex with my husband all night. It’s not possible, but I can expose him to extended sessions of stimulation without ejaculation. In our own single subject experiment designed to strengthen human pair bonding, I arbitrarily picked a two week period where I administered daily prolonged sexual stimulation for about 20-30 minutes to a human male in his pre-climax state without permitting ejaculation. The difference between pre-climax stimulation and sexual intercourse during semen retention is that standard thrusting during intercourse is not pre-climax stimulation though it does get to the point of pre-climax stimulation. Pre-climax is that precise moment before semen emission. This two week period consisted of prolonged periods of that type of stimulation. I really wanted him to hover in that pre-climax state for as long as he could stand just to make sure we had the best possible chance of increasing vasopressin. Agonizing, yes. Extremely pleasurable, also yes. It was very different than our standard semen retention sex.

During these sessions, he typically gave me 18 orgasms per session. This was a difficult but extremely pleasurable time for him. His brain is buzzing at the end of these sessions, and it takes him a while to clear his head. I’ll assume that’s his reward center doing its thing.

Is 20-30 minutes of stimulation long enough? Penn State conducted a survey of 50 full members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, which included social workers, physicians, psychologists, marriage/family therapists and nurses.

68% of these professionals responded with what they felt were appropriate copulation times for intercourse:

  • adequate 3-7 minutes
  • desirable 7-13 minutes
  • too short 1-2 minutes
  • too long 10-30 minutes

In his 1948 studies, Alfred Kinsey found that 75 percent of American men orgasmed within two minutes of starting intercourse. If that’s not an argument for semen retention, I don’t know what is. This 1-2 minute time clearly illustrates the human male’s lack of discipline and self control and is a strong argument for the female to step in and assist him in being disciplined with his ejaculation. Men seem to have little discipline in the moment of passion, and some are even aroused at being viewed as pathetic and inadequate lovers making consequences for unauthorized ejaculation a necessity.

I figure thirty minutes exceeds by quite a bit any time that most males are exposed to sexual stimulation, and should be enough to produce any hormonal effect if there is an effect to be had provided there is no release at the end of the session, preventing vasopressin from returning to baseline.

Before initiating the two week period, I had a male that, even though he practiced semen retention with daily stimulation, still requested free computer time to view nude novel human females. When I gave permission, fifteen minutes of viewing time was allowed. During that time he was allowed to view various nude novel human females which he found pleasure in viewing.

During the two week period which prolonged his arousal state, his requests for free computer time to view novel females dropped to zero, but viewing photos of his mate increased. The subject also reported little interest in live attractive females. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to present him a live attractive nude human female specimen to see if he would respond to her, but his desire to view novel females decreased to zero even though he was more highly aroused during this 14 day period than usual. He chose to exclude all females except for his primary female. I found this interesting. Hope you do too. This is one male’s response to this therapy of prolonged vaginal stimulation to the male penis in his per-climax state.

I postulate that vasopressin was increased during arousal. Instead of going over the edge and ejaculating as a normal male would do, returning vasopressin to baseline, he maintained vasopressin thus prolonging his strong feelings of pair bonding with me. It’s just an observation of behavior that happened to conform to my hypothesis without actual verification. The end result is a male that is very strongly bonded to his female. A very submissive, compliant male that adores his female.

Also, he went from possessive and jealous of his female to accepting other males in the relationship. When planning a business trip I would take alone, he suggested I should bring condoms just to be safe. How sweet. I’m certainly not planning on having any sexual encounters, but I guess it’s better to be safe.

Why is all this programming in the male brain. Is it a vestigial part of our breeding behavior that has gone dormant waiting to be revealed when retaining semen at a time when his female may not be receptive to him but might select a different more suitable male for breeding? What’s the benefit to the male to allow other males to mate with his female. Obviously, if she fills her vagina with 2 or 3 semen samples from males she is genetically drawn to, superior offspring result. She would also have a male that has pair bonded with her to help provide support for her and the offspring in a difficult harsh natural environment. This may also be the biological basis that carries over to the fetishes of swinging, hotwifing, and cuckolding as well as the craving of some males to submit totally to a dominatrix to demonstrate their submissiveness.

At the end of Larry Young’s paper he states:

“Perhaps through understanding the neurobiology of the pair bond and how it is regulated, we may be able to discover strategies to maintain and reinvigorate the pair bond in couples, ultimately leading to strengthening of the nuclear family.”

From my observations, I definitely see semen retention combined with pre-climax stimulation without ejaculation as a strategy to maintain and reinvigorate the pair bond in couples that have been married for years where passion has dwindled. I continue to practice intercourse this way, and our sessions remain at about 30 minutes in length. This is why it’s essential to have consequences for unauthorized ejaculation. As he is being stimulated for 20-30 minutes in his pre-emission state, he desperately wants to ejaculate, and all I have to do is remind him of the severe averse stimulus that waits on the other side of that unauthorized ejaculation to help him retain. He’s not getting that release, but the pleasure he experiences is the most intense he’s ever experienced. So, despite his begging to release, it’s important for the female to remain firm and know she is doing the best thing for him and the relationship. This is why I believe it’s important for the woman to secure a commitment from her husband that he will abide by her ejaculation schedule, giving her absolute control over his release. If I would have known this before we got married, I would have included it in his vows in a private ceremony after the public ceremony. I think this would be ideal to have a ceremony like this on the wedding night or after a trial period after the marriage.

Sex is very intense for me as well as him when intercourse is practiced in this manner. It does produce a male that absolutely worships and submits to the female. With prairie voles, after their all night mating and the male bonds with the female, he can actually be aggressive to other females that even approach him. Can extended pre-climax daily stimulation without ejaculation actually increase the fidelity in human males? I observe that it does for this particular male.

Of course it would be good to have more women practice this with their males to form more sound conclusions. I am only working with one subject and this is purely a hypothesis. What I find really fascinating is his willingness to accept me mating with other males while retaining, and when he was ejaculating freely, he would be almost violently jealous at the idea of me being with another male. There is so much to explore here. The change in biology the male experiences with retention is fascinating, and I don’t think there is any serious effort of researchers to understand the implications of retention and its impact on relationships simply because intercourse without male ejaculation hasn’t entered their minds.


Murphy MR, Seckl JR, Burton S, Checkley SA, Lightman SL. Changes in oxytocin and vasopressin secretion during sexual activity in men. Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism. 1987;65:738–741.

The Neural Basis of Pair Bonding in a Monogamous Species: A Model for Understanding the Biological Basis of Human Behavior 



Thursday, September 01, 2016
Wow this is awesome information and is something I will share with my wife very interesting. Thanks for taking the time to post this. RR

Yoga Girl

Friday, September 02, 2016
Thanks for reading!


Thursday, September 01, 2016
I think the strongest argument you make here is how semen retention together with sustained stimulation helps the male bond to his woman. The part about all-night mating voles was interesting as well.

You lost me a little bit with the level of science you bring out at the beginning (not being a science-major), but I can see you’re trying to establish some of your connections. Also, since the biggest thing is helping the male bond to his wife, to me the detour into cuckoldry and hotwifing was unnecessary. I don’t think you were trying to argue for it, but you were just trying to observe an association that the one man you knew was OPEN to it because he retained.

Just from personal experience, I can definitively say that my practicing the 5-7 day level of semen-retention has in no way made me open to those things. Nor would that be something my wife desires. Although we briefly considered swinging when our relationship was much rockier, this was a reflection of my desire to be excited by another woman, and not at all a reflection of my willingness to let my wife be with another man. To me, that was simply the ‘price’ one had to pay to play. Fortunately, we never went down that road.

Yoga Girl

Friday, September 02, 2016
Your right. I’m not arguing for cuckoldry or hotwifing. Just trying to explain why these desires exist in men. I have no intention in taking other partners. The social conditions and lab testing would have to be perfect. Very, very unlikely.


Friday, September 02, 2016
What would the perfect social conditions and lab testing be?

Yoga Girl

Friday, September 02, 2016
I haven’t really put thought into it. I would have to have certainty that other male isn’t sleeping around picking up stds and passing them to us. This other male would need to be committed to me. Enough time would have to go by to make sure he’s std free. I really don’t like condoms. Plus, I just enjoy monogamy. It’s really very unlikely. Never say never, but I just don’t see it. I don’t need the complications it would introduce.


Thursday, September 01, 2016
This was an amazing post. It’s just fantastic how you cited scientific work throughout the post.

I agree that its so fascinating how your male has now become accepting of other males in your relationship after being trained like this.

If you don’t mind me asking Miss, I have a few questions about the situation to sate my own curiosity. Did he exhibit this behavior after you started practicing this stimulation during the pre-climax phase, or did it begin with semen retention in general? Also, when he suggested that you bring condoms, was this a singular occurrence of displaying acceptance of other males in the relationship, or were there other incidents/discussions as well?

A more subjective question: Did it seem like he WANTED you to mate with other males, or was rather resigned to the fact that it would probably happen now that you had so much control in the relationship?

Honestly, in my own relationship I did something similar although not on purpose, but just out of a desire to prolong the sexual encounters and because my girlfriend was very conservative and felt that me ejaculating would be innapropriate since we weren’t married yet. All of the things you have discussed on this blog I personally experienced, including everything you talked about here, EXCEPT the desire to share my female with other males. I don’t know what the trigger for this is.

Anyway I would love to engage you with conversation more, but I think this is enough for one comment. Have a great day and thank you so much for sharing all this information with us 🙂 both anecdotal and analytical


Yoga Girl

Friday, September 02, 2016
I hope this was clear in the article. I should emphasize The difference between pre-climax stimulation and sexual intercourse during semen retention. Standard thrusting during intercourse is not pre-climax stimulation though it does get to the point of pre-climax stimulation. Pre-climax is that precise moment before semen emission. This two week period consisted of prolonged periods of that type of stimulation. I really wanted him to hover in that pre-climax state for as long as he could stand just to make sure we had the best possible chance of increasing vasopressin. Agonizing, yes. Extremely pleasurable, also yes. It was very different than our standard semen retention sex.

Just a note: This two week period would not have been possible without him knowing that severe consequences were imminent if any spill were to happen.

Typically, we don’t discuss the introduction of other male during our regular semen retention periods, but during this two week intense period, he brought it up during planning my trip. It’s a matter of gradation depending where he is in is in relation to his last ejaculation and how much he’s been stimulated. This week has been a light week, so I assume he wouldn’t be as receptive to the idea. And when he is receptive, he’s aroused not resigned about the idea.

He also has not requested free computer time since our little two week experiment. We’ll see how long that bonding last.



Monday, September 05, 2016
Thank you for the reply Yoga Girl. And thank you for the clarification, I didn’t understand the difference earlier. My mistake.

However, the fact that your husband is able to do this without so much as a spill is amazing…

If you don’t mind sharing, what are the severe consequences that deter your husband from spilling?

I would like to try this extended pre-climax stimulation with my girlfriend but I can’t think of any aversive stimulus that would be enough to deter me in such a moment of passion. Maybe I need to be trained better 🙁

Anyway, with regards to other males in the relationship, it seems that the pre-climax stimulation serves to further bring out a male’s submissive side. I wonder why that is. Your point about a genetically superior offspring was insightful, but I wonder why there would be a switch in a male brain that would make them want to spend energy and resources taking care of a child and woman with no DNA relation to them.

Thank you again for your well written responses and blog posts. It is all very informative and helpful. Thank you so much 🙂


Yoga Girl

Tuesday, September 06, 2016
“Thank you for the reply Yoga Girl. And thank you for the clarification, I didn’t understand the difference earlier. My mistake.”

No, my fault. I should be more clear. I’ve edited to reflect that. Thanks for pointing that vagueness out. It’s critical to the article. Pre-climax could mean different things to different people.

“However, the fact that your husband is able to do this without so much as a spill is amazing…”

Yes, it is very pleasurable for him. We still practice much of our intercourse sessions like this. It appears the line between agony and pleasure is a thin one. He expresses great gratitude that I have the firmness to take him to this place and help him maintain his retention.

“If you don’t mind sharing, what are the severe consequences that deter your husband from spilling?”

I really advocate no contact punishment, but I’ve made a concession to my husband. I give him a choice between no contact punishment and contact, and he chooses contact. If he spills during our new method of intercourse, I deliver a strapping which consist of restraining him, and delivering 100 strokes alternating between a 20″ three tailed leather strap, and a 16″ drilled hole wooden paddle, and after there will be much house work to be done. It’s severe, and because it’s severe, it happens very, very rarely. He might find it arousing initially, but it quickly goes beyond that. He does whatever he can to avoid it. It’s a lot to endure for a ruined orgasm. He has great gratitude for my willingness to help him retain. I still have not delivered a 100 stroke strapping, but I feel that this new method is required because the pleasure he has is so intense that he needs a strong deterrent to help him with our goal of retention. He needs to be very aware of where his edge is practicing this way, and avoid spills. he has experienced my 30-50 stroke strappings and has no desire to experience 100.

“I wonder why there would be a switch in a male brain that would make them want to spend energy and resources taking care of a child and woman with no DNA relation to them.”

I think that’s primarily a cultural view. In our culture, there are many men raising other men’s children as their own both knowingly and unknowingly. Tribes like the Wodaabe obviously have no problem with it.

“Watching on are also the tribe’s most eligible women who are looking for their next husband. If they like a man, the women can chose to be ‘stolen’ by one of the better-looking men, leaving their husbands behind. Those who wish to be stolen wait until their favorite man passes by and taps them on the shoulder. The fact that the women watching may already have a husband is not important to this polygamous tribe – because in the Wodaabe women have all the sexual freedom – and are allowed more than one husband. Women have all the power when it comes to sex in the Wodaabe tribe. Unmarried girls are allowed to have sex whenever and with whomever they wish.”

“Unlike the women, the men have relatively little control when it comes to sex. They have no say in whether a woman will run off with them – and even less on whether their own wives will leave them for another man.”



Tuesday, September 06, 2016
Thank you for the thorough and insightful comment Yoga Girl.

Your consequence for spilling is indeed quite severe, but if your husband had chosen a no-contact punishment when you gave him the choice, do you have any thoughts on what that no-contact punishment would be? My girlfriend would not be very receptive to the idea of such a severe contact punishment.

I know in another comment on the blog you outlined various no-contact punishments, such as corner time, early bed time, and ejaculation schedule extensions, all of which are great deterrents that my girlfriend has used. However, I don’t think any of them would be enough to give me such a powerful incentive to not spill during such an intense sexual moment as pre-climax stimulation.

Also, while we are on the topic, how do you take care of your husband after his contact punishment? Does he heal well afterwards and are there any possible health concerns? These are the type of things deter my partner.

Also, I noticed that you brought up additional household chores, but in your earlier blog posts mentioned that your husband is a house husband. What kind of additional chores do you assign to him as a punishment? Since presumably as a house husband he does almost all of the household work.

Thank you for mentioning the Wodaabe tribe and their culture that is so vastly different from our own. I had no idea such a culture existed. Its amazing how different cultures can be. I suppose to think of it not from the male’s perspective but rather from a female perspective, there is a very large benefit to being pair bonded to a male that can take care of offspring well, while producing the offspring with a genetically superior male.

Still, I wonder what it is about pre-climax stimulation that makes a male receptive to this, and why a male that isn’t practicing theses things is so adamantly against it. Do you think it has to do with the general increase in submissiveness that semen retention brings to a male?

Thank you again for your timely and thorough responses in the comment section.


Yoga Girl

Wednesday, September 07, 2016
“Your consequence for spilling is indeed quite severe, but if your husband had chosen a no-contact punishment when you gave him the choice, do you have any thoughts on what that no-contact punishment would be? My girlfriend would not be very receptive to the idea of such a severe contact punishment. “

Nor should she be. To be honest, if my contact punishment wasn’t effective. I would use early bed time. That is much more aversive to him than the contact punishment.

“Also, while we are on the topic, how do you take care of your husband after his contact punishment? Does he heal well afterwards and are there any possible health concerns? These are the type of things that deter my partner.”

His bottom is very red. There is no damage. The stinging is intense. I need to reemphasize that if it’s delivered aversively, punishment of this sort will be very rare. I’ve only done this a handful of time in the past year, and I’ve never delivered the 100 strokes. After experiencing 30-50, he has no interest in going there.

There’s doing housework the easy way and doing housework the hard way. He’s only had to do it the hard way once. I’ll let you use your imagination. These are things that a couple should discuss in their weekly companion inventory as to what would work for them. All of these things are very rare in our house because they are truly aversive. If a man is being punished on a regular basis, it’s not being done correctly. We lead a normal life and punishment is rare. He knows what the boundaries are and what’s expected. All I expect is for him to to retain and wait for the release command and service me almost daily presenting me with a steel hard cock in the meantime. Everything else flows from that. He loves and adores me partly because of my strength and firmness. The passion is intense in our relationship.

“Still, I wonder what it is about pre-climax stimulation that makes a male receptive to this, and why a male that isn’t practicing theses things is so adamantly against it. Do you think it has to do with the general increase in submissiveness that semen retention brings to a male?”

I can’t really say definitively. It’s only speculative, but I think you nailed it. I just know what I observe from the one male that I’m with. The only advantage from a wild kingdom perspective that I see is that it allows the female to select different breeding partners while still maintaining a pair bond with her mate. Diversity in breeding will always strengthen a species allowing different traits to emerge.


Wednesday, September 07, 2016
What’s most disturbing about this is that you punish accidents so severely. It’s not like it’s easy for a guy to develop that kind of control, and yet you make no allowance for someone who is trying their best but slips up. You can ignore this post like all the others, but I’m sure that it’s a point that’s not lost on your readers since harsh punishment is usually reserved for intentional acts, not mistakes that come from an honest effort.

Yoga Girl

Wednesday, September 07, 2016
It’s quite simple. I know from experience that when accidents go unpunished, there is more of them. Accidental spills become a regular thing with a “Sorry, I tried.” When accidents are punished there are very, very few of them.

“You can ignore this post like all the others,”

I never ignore anything. I only respond to what’s posted here. I don’t moderate this blog, my husband does. If it’s not posted here, I don’t see it. The only instructions I’ve given him is that I want this to be a positive place. I’m not going to argue. Apparently he thought your post about this was worth posting and others could learn from it.


Thursday, September 08, 2016
Wow. I’ll give you credit for not soft-peddling it. You definitely laid it right out there. Accident = 100 stroke beating with strap and paddle.

There’s nothing I want so badly that I would punish my wife for her accidents and mistakes (not that I punish her at all), and trying to dance up to the line with out ejaculating has got to be one of the most difficult scenarios in which to avoid accidents.

Yoga Girl

Friday, September 09, 2016
“trying to dance up to the line with out ejaculating has got to be one of the most difficult scenarios in which to avoid accidents.”

Your missing the intense pleasure he experiences that you have never experienced. Few men have. do you think he resents me. you would be mistaken if you do. After it’s over, he is grateful to me that I had the resolve to enforce his retention as he couldn’t do it by himself. He loves and cherishes me for it.

“There’s nothing I want so badly that I would punish my wife”

There’s where you make your mistake. You say “I” wouldn’t do that to my wife. I’m not doing anything to my husband. My husband and I have entered into this relationship as a “We”. “We” have extensive companion inventories, and I know him and his needs more intimately than you can ever hope to understand. You judge things you have absolutely no knowledge about. You do realize there are millions of couples just like us, right?

In one poll they estimate there are 2-3 million women that want to be dominate in their relationship. They estimate that there 18 million men looking for these 2-3 million women.

Do you know how many male chastity devices are sold every year? The maker of the CB-6000 says they sell thousands of these devices a year, and that’s just one maker of cock cages. There are countless others that sell a similar product that sell thousands more every year. That’s thousands upon thousands of men making purchases every year that desperately want to retain semen and hoping for assistance from their woman. They want this retention precisely because of the feelings of love, worship and adoration it makes them have for their wives. Men want these feelings. They crave being able to cherish their wives, and they crave to demonstrate it to their wives. That’s what your missing. A chastity device is not necessary in a FLR, but it is an important ultimate symbol of their enslavement to their woman. If these men could, they would wish for a detachable penis and balls that their wife could keep in her purse. These men should not be judged because they want to show their love to their wives this way. Their wives shouldn’t be judged because they are willing to receive their husbands love, obedience and worship.

A poll consisting of close to 40,000 respondents In response to this question: I want to become my woman’s slave in our FLR?

men responded:

If she wants: 34%
Yes: 49%
No: 17%

That’s 83% of men saying they need a severe controlling female authority. Who are you to sit in judgement of things that you absolutely have no understanding of? Incidentally, my husband is not my slave. I’m just using that question to illustrate how far men would like it to go.

continued below..

Yoga Girl

Friday, September 09, 2016
You have standard sex with your wife. I’m very experienced with standard sex. I know absolutely what it’s like in its best form. I’m an expert at it. But compared to the passionate sex my husband and I have when he retains in our current relationship it’s like comparing fine dining to eating out of a garbage can. Can you even begin to comphrehend that statement? You might want to withhold judgement until you’ve experienced it.

The U.S. military takes in male recruits and subject’s them to severe stress and humiliation to break them down and turn them into the men that are useful to them. They break down their personalities using severe discipline to do it in order to make them their tools for use in their purposes, and then some want even more of this treatment and try to join special units like seals etc where they’ll even endure worse discipline and humiliation to be even better men/soldiers, and you think what I do to my husband to make him a better lover, and husband is severe? You really can’t be serious. Men crave discipline and humiliation. It’s self evident in many of our most revered institutions. Men need discipline, period in order to make them better men. The military won’t train you to be a better lover, but I will. I know the method.

You know the question I get most from people? The question I get most is why aren’t I more harsh in my treatment of my husband? It’s not that I’m brutal, but that I’m not brutal enough.

My husband has told me about the contents of some of your deleted statements. Incidently, 99% of comments I receive are posted and are positive I’m told. I’m not sure how someone doesn’t get what’s going on here, and if it’s not for them, why they don’t move on to something more positive in their life. Just know that this blog is not a youtube comments section where anything goes. The environment here is one of learning and exploration. Would you want to sit in a quantum theory class while someone kept blurting out statements about episodes of Gilligan’s Island. No, people couldn’t learn that way. So, don’t take it personally if your comments are not published. I’m also not going to ping pong back and forth endlessly about the same issue in an argument. If you don’t agree, just move on. You’ve made some good comments here. That’s why they’ve been posted. I respect you as a person, and I would never pass judgement on something you and your wife were both practicing consensually.



Thursday, September 01, 2016
Yoga Girl,
A very interesting post and even more so as your experience mirrors that of ours. My wife has practiced this method with me for a little over two years and I have experienced the same pair bonding with her as you present above. As we read your words we had one of those “that’s us” moments.

Yoga Girl

Friday, September 02, 2016
That’s great to hear that these principle don’t apply to just us. 🙂


Thursday, September 01, 2016
Aside from the science, which I can’t evaluate, I’m really excited by the civilizational implications of your article. I agree that males are generally undisciplined (displaying adolescent behavior late into adulthood) and usually too aggressive for everyone’s good; they also tend to be followers rather than leaders. The semen retention idea would create a alpha female-beta male pairing as the norm, which would grant men more discipline and leadership structure that would draw on their following instinct. The restoration of discipline under female guidance, both within and outside the family, would reduce or eliminate crime, anti-social behavior, and violence, including especially violence against women. It would also improve productivity in the workplace. The benefits wouldn’t stop there: it would restore the stability of marriage and within that context allow women—as you note—to mate with genetically superior males, while retaining the services of her happily submissive husband. (couldn’t this be helpful today as well as in the past?)

Most important, women would be freed from household drudgery, would draw self-confidence from men’s newly established submissiveness, so as to finally make contributions to civilization commensurate with their potentials. Their leadership in society and government would also ensure that more males could make their own contributions without their present weaknesses. It would be a civilizational shift of enormous proportions. Your discovery, not only of semen retention’s miraculous effects, but of the importance of the bio-chemical vasopressin, would move the above scenario out of the realm of utopia and fantasy and into the realm of a viable alternative. I just think what you are doing and saying is incredibly important. Is this what you were talking about when you wrote of a cultural shift? Please comment if possible.


Yoga Girl

Friday, September 02, 2016
I couldn’t have written it better myself. Really, you stated it beautifully. That’s exactly what I was referring to when I referenced a cultural shift.

As long as men keep racing to their ejaculation in 1-2 minutes with their females, the status quo will continue.


Thursday, September 08, 2016
If I can make a further comment on the cultural shift occurring. I can see this in the way you present yourself and your ideas, which I totally love and follow. You assert that boys become men when they embrace orgasm control and semen retention and allow their true nature to emerge, which is to be a beta male working in the service of their female mates as pleasure givers and housekeepers. Some people might object; isn’t this what men once said about women? They might also object that this can’t be proven to be “true.” But, as you say, you (and more and more women) are simply “taking” the power from men, not asking permission. The “new woman” doesn’t look for a win-win solution with men, even if that is what results (and I agree with you that it does). She defines her life and her relationships on her terms and that includes defining who men are too—their “true” nature. It is so because she says it’s so and who would dare disagree.

Of course, men don’t have to accept this, but if that is the price of a relationship with a woman, most will do so, and when they do, it creates the “proof” of their nature. They are performing their nature—creating new “facts on the ground” so to speak, because they accept the identity women have defined for them. Women set the standards and values and men have to adapt, getting their pleasure in and through their mate’s pleasure, if they are to get pleasure at all. Women’s self-confidence, assertiveness, and refusal to compromise one bit and men’s neediness relative to that power define the nature of the relationship. It is the wormhole through which women and men step as they create the culture shift

There doesn’t need to be a rational reason acceptable to all preceding women’s assumption of the power to define, assert, and seize the power. The reason actually follows desire and power.

All of this is sexy and alluring. As you mentioned once, you find it pleasurable to put your husband in his place, and he no doubt feels the same. Mutual desire creates its own relationship of power and mutually reinforcing identities. That is the new model for the new century and the new world. Men are attracted to this like moths to light and that produces their new identities, which appears to them and to women as natural. And it is natural, the new natural.

So, just as you do, I accept as natural the idea that women should have the sexual freedom to take lovers or second husbands and husbands should not. Vive La Différence! Inequality is sexy. How can men complain about their innate dispositions as it is revealed to them before their eyes as they act out submissive beta lives? And how can women refuse to take authority when no one else claims it and men offer it to them on a platter.

Does this view as to what is happening seem right and accurate to you? As someone who has never practiced an alpha female-beta male relationship for more than a few months, I bow to your own view on these matters.


Yoga Girl

Saturday, September 10, 2016
I think the picture your painting is of what this may evolve into. I think it’s hard to see what a society like that would look like. I think it’s a long road to get women to understand the nature of men and then have it be a cultural norm where they only permit men to enter them if they don’t ejaculate. When women see male ejaculation as optional and not a given, that will be a start. When single women are educated about the nature of males and they conduct courtship in this manner, this would be a major influence in society. The vagina is currency, and most men will do anything to get inside one even if they don’t get to ejaculate. Women need to realize that they set the terms of entry. It’s sad to see so many women that give away their so freely, and not understand why they are being neglected and abused.

But let’s look at where we are now in this societal evolution. Pew research tells us that women are earning more than men/husbands. Women are also more likely to be college educated than males. This all started in about 2008 which changed things economically. Women wield the purse strings in many households. Money is power, and many men are still threatened by a wife that earns more than they do. One interesting fact about women that have a more superior income than their husbands is that they wind up doing more housework than women that earn less than their husbands. Males are so threatened, they feel compelled to put their wives in their place if their wives earn more than they do. It’s as if their saying “By god, you may make more than me, but you still better get in there and do the dishes and laundry.” This is how they preserve their worthless masculinity, by using their aggression to bully their wives into what they think a woman should be doing. And then of course, she lets him mount her and relieve himself on her while he sacks out in front of the TV, and then she gets started on the laundry before she has to be at the office tomorrow.

But nonetheless, things are changing. Women don’t need to land a man to be supported anymore. Not more than 50 years ago, society was structured in a way that a women needed a man to make their way. Men are now optional, and today women may wait until their close to thirty before even considering marriage. Women today are now holding many of the power cards, and men will have to work harder to get their attention and impress them.

It’s a beautiful thing for a woman to realize and awaken to her power and that she doesn’t have to be a door mat. Women don’t have to allow themselves to be abused, neglected, or taken for granted; however, to really swing the pendulum to the other side, something major has to shift. That is what a FLR can do.

We now have an election where a mature powerful woman is running against the epitome of a caricature of a frequent ejaculator. I know I shouldn’t get into politics, but when I watch the Republican candidate, I see a man who is impulsive, who is use to getting what he wants when he wants it, who gets upset quickly when things don’t go his way, and who likely ejaculates freely into every woman he can.

This is remarkable that we have these two very unique personalities vying for cultural influence this year. If she wins, it will definitely, even if it’s subtle, shift how women are perceived as we refer to the commander and chief of the United States as a “she.” We have one undisciplined frequent ejaculater in all his glory, and one strong, and what many men would refer to as a ball busting bitch, running for president. You know things have changed culturally when we hand over the nuclear codes to a woman.

A Poet

Saturday, September 10, 2016
Dear Ms. Yoga Girl,
Thank You so much for Your inspiring words. Thank You for the gift of Vasopressin! Each sentence you wrote was like a powerful shot of endorphins. I was swimming in an ocean of submissive bliss. You, Your words did that to me. I am deeply grateful to You. In fact, I was on the edge again and again.

I think the endorphins created during moments to passion
can bind the person to their mate, but something is off if there are so many divorces. When a male marries, he should pledge his life to the Woman that is willing to have him. He should renounce masturbation and porn.

I will admit I am a beta male. Yoga and vegetarian diet has been my life for decades. I am a helper to several Women, but not like You might think. I help two elderly widowed women in this neighborhood. I also help a divorced woman that is going through cancer treatment.
I am often invited to attend dinner parties where I am helpful the Woman that hosts them. I help Her in the kitchen, and at times briefly massage Her shoulders. Recently when I stayed with
a married couple, I always asked the Wife 2 or 3 times a day, “Do you need any help?”

She said how She felt so supported by this.

I loved this comment You posted:
If these men could, they would wish for a detachable penis and
balls that their wife could keep in her purse.

I have a few questions:
When is a male most vulnerable?
Is it best for male sexuality to be under Female control?
Why is Female domination so powerful?
Do males need to be under Female control?
What about single men? How should they live?

This link has an interesting article on Sexual Power for Women:

I wish I could kneel at Your feet and give you a bouquet of flowers.

I decided to kneel before a picture of my
high school sweet heart an bow to Her image. (sigh)
She led me to the gates of paradise. She left me for

A poet

Yoga Girl

Saturday, September 10, 2016
First, thanks so much for the lovely poem. I would have liked to have posted it but deleted it per your request. It really made my day.

“Thank You for the gift of Vasopressin!”

I think god gave you the gift of vasopressin. 🙂 Hopefully women will be able to learn how to use it to strengthen their bond with their husband.

You sound like a great guy. Any woman would be lucky to have you.

“I have a few questions:
When is a male most vulnerable?
Is it best for male sexuality to be under Female control?
Why is Female domination so powerful?
Do males need to be under Female control?
What about single men? How should they live?”

Wow, those are huge questions. Some of them almost need a thesis.

“When is a male most vulnerable?”

I can only speak for my husband, but I think it’s when we’re having intercourse. Also I would say it’s when he’s being disciplined. He’s very emotionally vulnerable at that point. It’s cathartic for him.

“Is it best for male sexuality to be under Female control?”

I can only give my opinion, but from my experience, I feel that it is based on what I’ve experienced with my husband. He’s a better man for it. People will have to apply the principles and find that answer for themselves.

“Why is Female domination so powerful?”

Another huge question that needs a thesis. Primarily, it’s because of chemistry. Everything has evolved to ensure the survival of the species. Even the shape of a female imprints and causes arousal in males. Hip waist ratio can stir arousal in men and compel them to copulate. Yeah, it’s a big question, but I think the one word answer is chemistry/biology.

“Do males need to be under Female control?”

Can I revise that and say I feel “my man” needs to be under female control. I think it works for millions of other couples too. I’m not quite ready to drop the net over the whole male population yet and deliver them to reeducation camps. I think most males might be surprised how their feelings might change in their relationship when exposed to semen retention.

“What about single men? How should they live?”

I feel uncomfortable saying you should live this way whatever that may be. I present our experience here in hopes that it will strengthen a relationship the way it has ours. But at the crux of what I presented here is “service.” My husband is a better man because he’s serving something other than himself. Believe it or not, I also serve him by being aware of his desires and needs, and my occupation fortunately allows me to be in service to hundreds of people. To give rather than take. As a great teacher once said “It’s when you lose yourself that you find yourself,” and it certainly sounds like that’s the way you’re conducting your life from your description of the service you give to the women in your life.

How should anyone live? I say in service to others. In the case of a FLR, it’s when a man loses himself in the service of his wife that he then will find himself.


Saturday, September 10, 2016
I’ve read a lot of posts on various blogs that rationalize male orgasm control. Most are complete rubbish. As you point out, there is no real evidence that vasopressin plays any part in human pair bonding. There is actually no empirical evidence it is true in voles either. There is just the observation that vasopressin receptors are more plentiful in voles that pair bond strongly. Also higher, more persistent levels of vasopressin are observed in monogamous males.

In that sense, I don’t think your conclusions are scientifically valid. There is no evidence of a true correlation. However, your experiment is interesting. We’ve been practicing enforced chastity for almost three years. On a nearly daily basis I am manually or orally stimulated to the very edge of ejaculation over and over.I get release on average about once every 7 to 10 days.

It’s true that I have no real interest in seeing naked women and while I enjoy seeing pretty women, I don’t feel any attraction or fantasize about them sexually. My interest is almost academic.

I am not particularly submissive, though I am reasonably obedient. I receive strong adverse stimulation when I’m not.

In a sense I’m a longer term example of your point. I don’t understand what you do during your sessions. I am manually stimulated to the point just before ejaculation. Then, after a short time to return to a less orgasmic state, the stimulation is repeated; generally by hand. Is this what you are doing?

Yoga Girl

Saturday, September 10, 2016
I think researchers are fairly certain about the vasopressin connection, but certitude is always a rare thing in science. The chemistry is complex with many variables.

Thank you for sharing your multi year experience. Your feelings about women outside of your primary woman are interesting. It appears from your statement that you are bonded pretty strongly to your woman excluding other women.

It’s only a correlation that you are also receiving intense stimulation without ejaculation, and your interest in other women has dropped off, but it’s interesting. Personally, I feel it is connected to the type of stimulation you recieve, the frequency with which you receieve it and your ejaculation schedule.

My husband seems to be experiencing the same thing as you. One thing for certain is that vasopressin is remaining in your system longer and not dropping back to baseline as it would if you were ejaculating.

“I don’t understand what you do during your sessions.”

I’m sorry, I thought it was clear in the article. I’ll have to read through it again and see if I can be clearer.

I very seldom even touch my husbands penis except to hold it to lube it with my mouth for vaginal entry so I wouldn’t really call it oral stimulation as it is very brief. My husband is soley stimulated by my vagina. I believe strongly in the union between the lingam and yoni and all the benefits it yields. I’m on top mostly. He stimulates himself as well as me of course by thrusting very near or close to semen emission. He backs off if he gets to close, and resumes staying close to that state without emission. He also gets short breaks (9-18 of them) as I orgasm, jump on his face for additional clitoral stimulation, and get back on his penis and ride to the next one. I hope that’s clear. He is almost always close to emission (pre-climax stimulation). I don’t let him drop out of pre-climax for long. Just long enough for him to maintain control. I’m always spurring him to thrust if he can. He’s desparate for release and almost delirious by the time I’m finished (about 20-30 minutes)

It’s interesting that you and my husband share the same ejaculation schedule. His is mostly 7 but sometimes up to 10.

Thanks for sharing!


Uxorious Mate

Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Thank you for the very informative article. You can add our experience to the data validating that time spent in the pre-climax phase (aka edging) increases pair bonding (aka devotion). Most evenings following her massage, Madame has me stimulate myself by simulating intercourse upon her upturned bottom. The goal is to enter the pre-climax phase and maintain it for extended periods of time. It is a point of honor not to climax. She decides when I can stop, usually by evaluating the intensity of my sounds of madness. The result is a full charge of devotional energy that carries into the next day.

It is interesting that a similar but different energy is obtained during extended intercourse or when servicing her orally. In these two cases I am stimulated more emotionally than physically, yet the end result only differs slightly in terms of devotional energy received. While not as intense as edging, these two have a more “connected” flavor, for lack of a better description. A mix of all three activities during the week provides me all the energy I could ask for.

Thank you again for this great blog.

Yoga Girl

Thursday, September 15, 2016
Thanks for sharing your experience. I find your observations very interesting especially as far as what facilitates a more “connected” flavor as you put it.


A poet

Monday, September 19, 2016
Are there any special ways You tease Your husband?
Do You allow Your husband to watch sports?
Do You control the finances?
Do You allow him time with his male friends?
Do You humiliate him at all?
Do You associate any type of music with FLR?
What type of music do You like?

Thank You so much for Your response to my post.
Your writing and ideas have really touched a nerve with me.
One of the most beautiful things is a male submitting to Female domination. I know You mention FLR, but to me the FD term is elegant and beautiful as well. Your words make me MELT!
I wish I could send You flowers…

A poet

Yoga Girl

Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Thanks for the lovely poem.

“Are there any special ways You tease Your husband?”

I would say that would consist of pre-climax stimulation which last all week.

“Do You allow Your husband to watch sports?”

I’m not sure why men that have balls are endlessly fascinated with watching other men play with theirs. It’s a waste of time unless you’re actually getting the benefits of the physical activity. If he has time to sit around and watch a ball game, he has time to wash the windows.

“Do You control the finances?”

I make the money. He manages the money. I have a hundred people vying for my time daily. His job is to make my life easier, not add another task like paying bills to my to do list.

“Do You allow him time with his male friends?”

He has very little time for male friends. Mostly, we are each others best friends. Our friends are OUR friends, and we see them together.

“Do You humiliate him at all?”

This only comes into play as far as what his needs may be that are brought by semen retention. It can ebb and flow. One week, we may be what other people may call a very normal couple, another week may bring more extreme activities. The only constant is semen retention, ejaculation schedule and consequences for unauthorized ejaculation. Everything else is in flux. An extended schedule with lots of stimulation can put him into extreme submission. It’s important for women to realize that this state can mostly be regulated by them. I don’t want women to think they have to be a full time dominatrix. They can have a relationship where they function as equals with their husband with only increased passion in their marriage. I think sometimes the issue may be that the man starts to treat his wife with such worship and adoration, she may not feel comfortable or worthy of receiving it. Once she embraces his view of her, she will change in ways that will give her confidence in other areas of her life.

Do You associate any type of music with FLR?

Not really.

What type of music do You like?

In the Vein of Sheryl Crowe, Sarah Mclachlan, Nirvana. The best of everything that is inspirational. Classical of course.

bruce smith

Monday, September 19, 2016
I don’t have a poetic bone in my body but your words resonate strongly with me too. Actually,Yoga Girl, you might be the true poet here. Such an intelligent (well, mostly) discussion could only take place between an intelligent dominant woman and males who have achieved clarity of thought through semen retention. I find it rewarding to learn what ought to have been obvious earlier in life (or at least taught in school) regarding how important it is for a man’s inner peace to become an accomplished servant to a woman, or to women. Thankyou.

Yoga Girl

Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Thanks for reading. I just hope I can present it in a way for women to better understand their husbands and their needs. It was a slow evolution for me, from seeing it as a perversion or kink to seeing it as a spiritual practice starting with semen retention and following the changes that brings in him. Maybe this little booklet I’ve presented here will help women get down the path a little faster than I did.


Friday, September 23, 2016
It’s just a little question because it seems that you really don’t like that your husband watch sport on TV. But usually can your husband sit on the sofa and watch TV, other than sport, with or without you? And reciprocally do you enjoy watching TV alone while your husband is doing some chores for you?

Yoga Girl

Friday, September 23, 2016
The answer is yes to both of those questions. But I seldom watch TV alone. There are many other things I’d rather do.


Thursday, September 29, 2016
Who would have thought that in googling around,incognito, for stimulation of a more base nature, I would uncover all the information I need to transform our fledgling FLR. Innumerable thanks for your extensive efforts in anticipation of finally transcending.

Yoga Girl

Friday, September 30, 2016
Thanks for reading. Hope it helps.


Saturday, December 10, 2016
Some things I have learned from trying this:
Keeping vasopressin levels high in my male leads to the male pair bonding with his female to an extent I did not realize before.
After extended time, the vasopressin seems to cause a reprogramming in the male brain. He bonds such that he loses jealousy and anxiety over his female accepting other males into her bed. In fact, he looks forward to it.
Knowing his female has sexual encounters with other males seems to increase his desire for bonding with her.
This pair bonding manifests itself as an increased feeling of being loved. My own male, my husband, will now become moody and feels less loved when I go too long a time between sexual encounters with other males.
The right frequency for me to take other males seems to be at least once a month and maybe as often as twice monthly.
Others will have to see what works for your male and is best for him and your relationship.

Yoga Girl

Saturday, December 10, 2016
Thanks for sharing. It may not be the vasopressin, but one thing for sure increased stimulation without ejaculation seems to make some males receptive to this activity. It also seems to make sense that once you’ve introduced other males into the relationship that your primary male will try to be more affectionate to cement that bond with you. I might also speculate that if you let him start ejaculating, feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, anxiety might quickly arise in him. I’ve never tried it. So, just speculation.

“This pair bonding manifests itself as an increased feeling of being loved. My own male, my husband, will now become moody and feels less loved when I go too long a time between sexual encounters with other males.”

That’s an interesting observation. Be safe out there! And thanks again for sharing.

This is one of a few blogs that were published by Yoga Girl at her website at http://flr101.blogspot.com. This site is now offline but all credit goes to her. 



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This is a fascinating topic. The idea that someone can completely change their level of devotion, as you describe. Is pretty amazing, and has possible benefits for couples counselling.

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