FLR101 – Chapter 6: Abolishing your husband’s masturbation habit

If there is one behavior that drains a marriage of passion, it’s a husband’s masturbation habit. He should be retaining semen for the benefit of the relationship and recognize that you have the right to be involved with what he’s doing in private as it directly effects you in a major way. If you’re not receiving intimacy with your partner because he’s being intimate with himself, that’s a moral crime against you and your marriage as it robs both of you of shared intimacy with each other.

To me this habit is close to adultery in what it does to a marriage and should bring close to the same consequences if the wife finds out about it. I hope I’ve conveyed this with enough gravity. The only thing his penis should be stimulated by is you as you transcend together.

Some women may feel relieved that their husbands masturbate as it means they won’t be annoying them with their desires because they themselves are sexually shut down. If that’s the case, your marriage is already on the comfortable road to tolerable boredom and happy routine, but one of the things that can help correct it is for the husband to stop masturbating and channel his chi to the wife and help her awaken her yoni. I will address awakening your yoni in a later article if yours is a little sleepy after years of 3 minute sessions with your partners or your own personal issues.

Hopefully, we’ve come to the conclusion that one thing is paramount: masturbation for the man must stop. He can’t be allowed to continually deplete his body of semen in this way. You need to take an interest and monitor this. Your marriage must be built upon honesty. If he’ll lie to you about this, then there is a whole lot of work that needs to be done before you even consider this road. Just like alcoholics have a sponsor, you need to be there to give him guidance, support and a sympathetic ear. He needs to be accountable to you, and call you if he has a problem. If there is an infraction, I expect him to call my secretary and tell her he as a problem at home that needs my attention, and she’ll give me a message. He should know there is an immediate consequence for that infraction, and I know how much he dreads making that call. We’ll address the issue when I get home and deliver the appropriate consequence. Please see the article on consequences. Once you’re actively involved in your husband’s intimate life, that alone may be enough to eliminate this behavior.

He should expect daily inquiries from you about whether he has masturbated and acknowledge that you have the right as his wife to make these inquiries. This may have been an issue that both of you didn’t really acknowledge before. Now it will be out in the open, and he will know that this is a top priority to you. I feel that even one upstroke on his penis is an infraction of the no masturbation rule, and an averse stimulus will be applied. If he’s only broken the rule by stimulating himself, and there was no ejaculation, the averse stimulus may only be an 8:30 pm bedtime for a week. What’s the harm if there was no ejaculation? All sexual pleasure should flow through you to him. As you establish yourself as the sole pleasure giver in his life, he will focus on you hoping for your touch, hoping for the daily intercourse session where he truly feels privileged to enter you, and he will work his hardest to deliver as many orgasms to you as you can stand and then some. You will become the perpetual novel female that he craves. He will listen to your words and not do anything that will make you form the words “You’ve just been bumped a day.” Discipline may be no more complicated than the threat of delaying his E-day. You have no idea how smooth and blissful your day will be when he’s trying to stay on schedule for his release. As he treats you with more respect, you will become a stronger more confident woman, and in turn his respect and love for you will increase.

When this habit is broken, you can be standing fully clothed in the kitchen, and he will get an erection just looking at you. You may simply want to just turn up the passion in your relationship using these principles which is fine, but once he is retaining, eliminated masturbation, and you’ve installed the ejaculation schedule you may define the relationship as you wish. Retaining semen, he will change, and his true self will emerge. He will come to see you differently. If you have poor self esteem, you may not feel comfortable with his new perception of you, but you should embrace this image of you that the Tao is revealing to him. It’s through your husband that you will discover your true self. Your opinion will be highly valued, and your words will be closely listened to. Indeed, once my husband approaches 10 days without ejaculation with daily intercourse sessions, everything is “Yes, mam.” No, mam.” And he will even ask for permission to speak if it’s about a subject we may have disagreement about. Your opinion will move from just being your opinion to law. I don’t require these things at all from him, there are no rules issued by me. This former alpha male just adapts these behaviors as his biology changes.

I’m not saying at all that I prefer my relationship to be this way. I prefer a relationship where we’re lovers and best friends. I control his ejaculation because he is unable to in his pre-climax state and to extremely enhance the passion in our relationship. I’m just illustrating how the male behavior will change when he practices retention with a woman’s support. Don’t worry, you will be able to get the same temperamental, impatient, argumentative, egotistical, domineering, know everything male back by reducing his schedule to one ejaculation a day. It’s interesting to note that all the former adjectives can be a result of semen depletion. And with the natural state of semen retention, males gain the wisdom and insight to follow a woman’s wise counsel. So, when your having contention in your relationship with a male, it could very likely be due to semen deficiency. It’s been my experience that there’s little that can’t be fixed in a relationship with 14 days of semen retention and daily intercourse. In theory, I prefer equality. But what do I do when the other party desperately wants inequality? How do organizations run best? The best ones are run by a competent leader. And in the case of a relationship, the Tao has revealed to the man that he should follow. It casts a whole new light on Judaeo christian philosophy that says the meek shall inherit the earth.

He also needs to be honest with porn viewing as viewing porn and masturbation go together like cookies and milk for men. Porn viewing is a waste of his valuable time and energy. Energy that should be channeled into more productive avenues. And of course, it’s a powerful stimulus that leads to masturbation. You need to learn how to check his browsing history on his computer. That alone will let you see what’s going through his head. Let him know that he shouldn’t be ashamed, and then delete his history. My husband knows that he needs to confess any porn that he happens upon on the net. He knows he needs to leave the site immediately and lingering brings consequences. If he doesn’t come to me and confess immediately, and I find it in his browsing history, the consequences will be far more severe. Really, he’s been quite good about this. If he has been compliant, I’m fine with giving permission for 15 minutes of free computer time once in awhile.

I hadn’t realized how central this habit was to his life until we started this. With appropriate consequences, he has gone from masturbating 30-60 times a month to 0 times a month. This was achieved with an averse stimulus that was applied only once as a demonstration. His ejaculate has gone from a low volume thin watery bitter tasting disappointment to a fuller, richer amount that covers my whole torso. Watching a man release has always excited me, and watching his release after 7 days of being sexually stimulated daily is truly exciting, and it’s now acceptable in the taste department as well which tells me that he has been answering my daily inquiries truthfully. He also has the desire to abstain as he knows I expect the Bellagio water show when he releases, and he doesn’t want to disappoint. These physical manifestations in addition to his daily passion for me verify that he’s not depleted and on the right road. I think your interest in watching his release will also help him abstain and instill a desire to build a load that will impress you on ejaculation day. This is Jing, and this life essence is sacred and shouldn’t be wasted. So, on ejaculation day I always comment on how impressed I am at the amount and how good the taste is as well as covering my body with it as a lotion demonstrating my appreciation for what he’s accomplished. He loves to see that he’s produced enough to almost cover my body with it. This functions as a positive reinforcer for his abstention behavior and further builds compliance with the no masturbation rule in the household.

I think he would have a hard time pleasuring himself with his own hand at this point as it’s been about a year since he’s done it the old way. And now I’m the recipient of that energy, and his pleasure is far greater than it was when he was masturbating. Sometimes we as women would rather not know, and just ignore this issue, but we do it at the peril of our relationship. Then we wonder why he’s not aroused by or interested in us, and the relationship disintegrates into a friendly tolerance for one another. I told him at the beginning of this journey in a very endearing loving manner I was going to break him. And in less than a year he has come to accept that ejaculation at the end of intercourse is not a given but is optional and a rare occurrence. Masturbation for him has now been completely abolished. Over the last year, he now only associates ejaculation with my vagina and the release command realizing that ejaculation happens only through me. The intensity of the passion you both experience as a couple depends on abolishing this habit.

Eventually, masturbation will become just a distant memory as he seeks your hand instead of his. It really can’t be any other way if you’re seeking an intense passionate connection as a couple. You now know too much to just standby and let him damage your relationship. Taking an interest in this juvenile behavior as you guide him from boyhood to manhood will foster greater intimacy as you work as a team toward the relationship you both desire. Living these principles, my husband is more passionate with me now than he was when we were dating more than 10 years ago, and I am certainly a more orgasmic woman than I was a year ago. ~Namaste

Thanks to my hubby for the help with the graphics! ….and the orgasms.

DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband. Every relationship should be safe, sane and consensual. Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.

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59 comments:

Adam

Friday, July 22, 2016
This is now my favorite FLR blog. I was wondering: what about female masturbation? Is that disallowed for a lot of the reasons above, since they apply to the female as well? Or is there a difference in biology which invalidates the comparison?

Also, I think taking the perspective of tantra and taoist yoga is extremely strong. Not only does it sidestep the BDSM issue, which is unpalatable to many, but it also introduces powerful arguments based on an extensive body of knowledge. Ditto for the emphasis on the differences between male and female biology. Run with it!

Yoga Girl

Friday, July 22, 2016
Thanks for reading, Adam. Female masturbation is not prohibited as there is no loss of Jing (life essence). I lose no chi or jing when I orgasm. I don’t masturbate, but it wouldn’t matter if I did as it wouldn’t impact the frequency of intimacy I would have with my husband. I can have 18 orgasms and be energized. Whereas the detrimental effects of semen depletion are observable in males. There is no female superiority, just the the expression of the Tao through the male biology that defines him as the follower. In fact, I observe everyday how my alpha male when practicing semen retention craves to follow, and as he demonstrates “following” behavior, I respond by leading. The only thing I insist on is him following the principle of semen retention, and following my ejaculation schedule as he seems not capable of putting together what I think is a responsible schedule. I love him enough to do it and enforce it. I think to nurture, guide and instruct is part of a woman’s nature.

I’m glad you bring up BDSM. I think BDSM emerges as a construct due to the conflict between the male psychology and his biology. In other words, his natural biology is telling him to submit to the female, but thousands years of male tradition tells him it’s unacceptable. To resolve this conflict, the BDSM fetish emerges to take the control out of his hands and compels him to submit by force. His natural biological arousal can then move forward because his psychological conflict is resolved as he no longer has a choice. I’ve helped my husband resolve that conflict by demanding that he must have permission before ejaculation. I won’t accept the relationship on any other terms. I love him enough to do it, and he complies because he loves me so much that he doesn’t want to lose the relationship. I compel him to make it easier for him to accept his new place in the relationship so he doesn’t have to live in conflict. I hope women come to understand this dynamic and a new model for relationships emerges.

If you look at the trend according to Pew research. Women are leading more households, more likely to be college educated than males, and out earning their husbands. I think these principles will help a marriage not only survive but thrive in the coming century.

Adam

Friday, July 22, 2016
That’s an interesting take on BDSM. What’s your perspective on the reversed, I think more common, power dynamic in BDSM? Does your point apply to men who crave to dominate and the women who crave to be dominated by them, or is that a different matter?

Yoga Girl

Friday, July 22, 2016
I would agree that dominate males predominate in the BDSM fetish. And what do all those males have in common? I think I could safely speculate that they are all frequent ejaculators. Depleted males are dominating and aggressive with women and each other generally. When my husband was a daily masturbater, and used me freely for his release, he was dominating. The question is which one is man’s natural state? I would say most men subvert their natural state ejaculating frequently using their hands or a compliant female. Most animals can’t do that, and they have to wait for a select time during the year for release. I would also say that depletion from frequent ejaculation is not the males natural state as it causes low testosterone, and retention raises testosterone. Unfortunately, I only have one subject in my semen retention experiment. He is a alpha male that is dominating when depleted, and submissive when retaining.

But even with depletion one study found:

-Men like the male-submissive fantasy more than the male-dominant fantasy; 66% of men have submissive fantasies at least half the time

-Men like the submissive fantasy role even more than women do

As far as women go, I think women are conditioned to be submissive by society. I think most women will submit to an aggressive male. It may be that kind of male that women want to mate with but not form a relationship with. A documentary on Discovery was mentioning women may mate with an alpha and pair bond with a beta male. I hope to get more into this at a later date. Hope this addressed your questions.

Adam

Saturday, July 23, 2016
That does address my questions. It’s the sign of a good point of view when seemingly difficult questions can be resolved simply. I resonate with the perspective you’re taking here, and am interested to see it developed further. One thing that crossed my mind is that frequently depleted males might have a high level of testosterone generation, and this is what makes them aggressive, even though their testosterone levels are lower. One could look into aggression in the dominant male in zoological harems, for example. Just an idea, obviously this is a very complex issue. As far as the effects of testosterone goes, I did a little digging and it appears that there is no scientific consensus.

http://www.nature.com/scitable/blog/cognoculture/testosterone_and_human_aggression_or_180520

The question of what is “natural” is clearly somewhat fraught, but I don’t think it is meaningless and I think that looking to the natural world as you do is very useful. Plus, the study you cite is fascinating, I’d be interested in reading it. Your science background gives you skills in research that I haven’t seen before on other related blogs. The inclusion of traditional knowledge (e.g. yoga) and scientific studies makes your articles more valuable than a collection of experiences and opinions (still valuable). Maybe you could start a bibliography?

In any case, I think you’re doing an excellent job so far. I’m finding this stuff very interesting and useful. I think your goals with this blog are realizable.

Yoga Girl

Sunday, July 24, 2016
This is the article I referred to:

http://www.feministcritics.org/blog/2010/11/20/do-men-or-women-have-fantasies-of-dominance-and-submission-the-results-noh/

They refer to a Hawley & Hensley at the University of Kansas.

Women do like to be dominated, and since I’m a woman I feel qualified to elaborate on why a woman would be drawn to my system where their men become more agreeable. I’m drawn to alpha males. I’m also the alpha female at work over males and females. Beta males pursued me when I was single. I rejected them (nicely). Just to be clear, I loooove beta males, and I realize in many ways I would be better off with one. However, I mated and paired with an alpha male …very, very alpha. You know what? Alpha males are very hard to live with ..very hard. They’re great to mate with, but on a daily basis it can be difficult. With this system of semen retention, I’m observing I can have my cake and eat it too, or I can have my alpha and live with my beta. In other words I want my alpha, but I don’t want him to be alpha with me just everybody else. You want your Rottweiler to be a Rottweiler, but not with you. You want him to be a friendly obedient puppy with you, and everyone else can admire his majesty from a distance. And I notice it does make me a stronger woman while supporting an alpha male in semen retention.

But I get that a lot of women want to submit to a dominant male. I would love to be handcuffed, bent over and taken hard, but I wouldn’t want to bring that guy home and live with him …unless he was trained and retaining semen on a planned ejaculation schedule of like once a month. Semen depleted alphas are out of hand unless you can restore them to their natural state through semen retention.

This actually should be a blog post.

Joey k

Friday, July 29, 2016
“But I get that a lot of women want to submit to a dominant male. I would love to be handcuffed, bent over and taken hard, but I wouldn’t want to bring that guy home and live with him …unless he was trained and retaining semen on a planned ejaculation schedule of like once a month. Semen depleted alphas are out of hand unless you can restore them to their natural state through semen retention.”

This is something I feel would be very valuable for you to elaborate on. Both the dynamic of women wanting to be fucked by Alphas and provided for by betas, and then the sort of relationship you described in that paragraph (sexually dominant Alpha on extended retention schedule).

In my experience, women definitely prefer a dominant man. As you said in the comment “I’m drawn to Alpha males”, and I’m glad you stated this because I know most women are. I agree with all the principles stated in this article, but I’m still not entirely sure where to balance it out. It seems to me that the perfect semen retaining relationship would be one in which the man is sexually dominant and retains over long periods (somewhere between monthly and indefinitely) completely on his own. It seems to me that in some sense the women would feel her man is slightly beta for her having to control his orgasms for him when ultimately he should be doing it himself. Since I first began reading these FLR blogs, many of the ideas associated resonated with me, but the sexual submissiveness of the man was something that I had seen in my personal experience not to be enjoyable for the female, and even very objectionable. So, obviously, that paragraph caught my eye and I would be interested in hearing more about that. Would you prefer a sexually dominant man to totally take you but then be retaining for longer periods of time? I could see that being the natural progression of an FLR type relationship. Depleted boy -> Trained man under female authority -> Real man retaining on his own giving female what she really wants…something like that.

Anonymous

Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Hi Yoga Girl
Thankyou for your nice blog and the worthwhile articles.
It’ll be kind of you if you may answer some of my questions, if not too personnal :

• What was the first consequence that you decided for him to stop immediately his masturbation habit a year ago ?
• What happen if he can’t cum in due time after you pronounced the release command ? Can he thrust until his release ?
• It’s seem that your husband is very compliant : one punishment every two to three months considering no looking at porn, no masturbation and no accident during your sessions. It’s seem very few.
  I intend to show your blog to my wife and hope she will be interseted for a try.
  Thanks in advance

Yoga Girl

Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Thanks for reading. I’d be glad to answer your questions. I did kinda have planned a chapter on specific averse stimuli, but I could go into it a bit here.

-What was the first consequence that you decided for him to stop immediately his masturbation habit a year ago ?

I hesitate to really answer this because it sounds even to me like I’m a dominatrix or something to the novice reader. I’m not! I chose this stimulus because it’s the common averse stimulus that’s chosen in behavioral science experiments, and I have extensive experience conditioning animal behavior in a Skinner Box. I can condition very specific target behaviors using both positive and an aversive stimulus. I only applied this once, and it was enough to eliminate masturbation behavior in the house.

I bought a shock training collar used to humanely train dogs. I DON’T ADVOCATE OR RECOMMEND THIS METHOD. Every couple will need to determine the safety for themselves. People could die from electric shock.

The settings go from 1-100 on the remote for the collar. I wanted to do it just as a demonstration, and set it to 1. It delivered a very aversive stimulus. It’s stopped masturbation for the last year and any intentional spills during intercourse. All animals find electric shock aversive. The collar is there in the background. It’s in the house, and my husband knows I’ll use it. It’s enough that my husband stays within the permissible behavior boundaries in our relationship and waits for the ejaculation command on his E-day. I really don’t expect to have to use it again. Just mentioning it is enough to correct behavior.

• What happen if he can’t cum in due time after you pronounced the release command ? Can he thrust until his release ?

It’s never happened. By the time I finish the sentence “You may release your load now”. He’s well on his way to releasing his ejaculate on the last word of that sentence.

Yoga Girl

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

• It’s seem that your husband is very compliant : one punishment every two to three months considering no looking at porn, no masturbation and no accident during your sessions. It’s seem very few.

If the averse stimulus is truly aversive, it will be effective in keeping punishment rare. An 8:30 bedtime with video baby monitor so the wife can monitor behavior can be just as aversive. Also bumping your ejaculation day two or three days will also be very aversive.

This is all background stuff, and rarely comes into play in our relationship. I don’t want your wife to be concerned or put off reading this. The primary principles are semen retention, and the ejaculation schedule. she may use it to merely turn up the passion in your relationship, but the consequences should be in the background to keep male passion in check. I would like to hear her thoughts if she tries it. Just the fact that your going to introduce her to me bodes very well for its success in your relationship. ~Namaste

Anonymous

Thursday, July 28, 2016
Namaste!
This is mindblowing. I wonder if you are from India?!

Yoga Girl

Thursday, July 28, 2016
No, I’m American. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading! …and Namaste.

Anonymous

Friday, July 29, 2016
“I hesitate to really answer this because it sounds even to me like I’m a dominatrix or something to the novice reader. I’m not! I chose this stimulus because it’s the common averse stimulus that’s chosen in behavioral science experiments, and I have extensive experience conditioning animal behavior in a Skinner Box. I can condition very specific target behaviors using both positive and an aversive stimulus. I only applied this once, and it was enough to eliminate masturbation behavior in the house.

I bought a shock training collar used to humanely train dogs. I DON’T ADVOCATE OR RECOMMEND THIS METHOD. Every couple will need to determine the safety for themselves. People could die from electric shock. “

My God. Only a monster would do that. Jesus Christ.

Anonymous

Saturday, September 03, 2016
“Only a monster would do that.”

Dear Anonymous, for FLR community shock collar is not very abnormal. Many wives use shock collar or other ballbusting. For example, one man says:

“My wife and I are in a wonderful FLR. Things are going well, and changing all the time (for the better, I am happy to report). Although initially we entered the FLR at my request, my wife is now a convert, loves it… … ….a shock collar for me to wear when we are together, such as over the weekends or evenings, so that she could use it to give me gentle reminders about my behavior, to call me if I am in a different room, or to give me an immediate and effective punishment as needed… …. My wife loves this thing. Just loves it! She thinks this is the best purchase for our FLR relationship…. She says that it has changed my behavior, attitude, and obedience greatly. … I wear the shock collar with the box at the bottom, so that the contacts rest against my scortum. … The collar has several modes: shock, vibrate… The strength of the shock or the vibration is adjustable. The vibrate mode is used as the call button. Also, it is nice that it could be done discreetly: if she is in the presence of others, she can reach into her purse, pocket or waistband, and push it without anyone knowing why I happen to turn up just when she needs me. It is also nice that the vibrations are fairly quiet, so that others typically do not hear it… …. The shock mode is used to give me a quick punishment. When the button is pushed in the shock mode, the contacts send about a 2 second set of painful electrical pulses to my penis and balls. … … thing that is nice is that just as the vibrate function, the punishment can be administered discreetly. Thus, she can easily shock my balls when we are at a restaurant, or a shopping mall, or just walking down the street. But the most important thing about using the shock collar is that it works: my behavior, attitude and obedience have supposedly much improved. In summary, a shock collar is an incredibly useful tool in FLR, perhaps the most useful tool at my wife’s disposal.”

This is FLR. Goodbye

Yoga Girl

Friday, July 29, 2016
This is the accepted standard in behavioral science to condition animal as well as human behavior in many experiments. It’s IRB approved. I’m sure you don’t what that is. Let me explain.

An institutional review board (IRB), also known as an independent ethics committee (IEC), ethical review board (ERB), or research ethics board (REB), is a type of committee used in research in the United States that has been formally designated to approve, monitor, and review biomedical and behavioral research involving humans. They often conduct some form of risk-benefit analysis in an attempt to determine whether or not research should be done.[1] The purpose of the IRB is to assure that appropriate steps are taken to protect the rights and welfare of humans participating as subjects in a research study.

This is a common training aid to train dogs. If they thought for a second it was inhumane, people would not use it on animals they love as their own children.

Law enforcement uses electric shock far, far more powerful to control human behavior, and to bring it within target parameters of compliance.

It’s aversive. Phrases like “monster” are a knee jerk reaction to image you have in your mind and has no bearing on reality.

You’re calling science and law enforcement monsters by extension.

Namaste

Yoga Girl

Saturday, July 30, 2016
“I could see that being the natural progression of an FLR type relationship. Depleted boy -> Trained man under female authority -> Real man retaining on his own giving the female what she really wants…something like that.”

I did want to address this before I went to bed last night. I have been pondering your comments and truly reflecting upon what my deep desires really are. It’s not that I desire to be handcuffed, taken, and ridden hard. What arouses me is a man that is so enamored by me that he looses his head and goes after me at all cost. I experienced this thrill when a friend that I spent a lot of time working on a hobby with suddenly grabbed me, pinned me against the wall, and started kissing my neck, belly, and lips. Now it may not have been so thrilling if I found him repulsive; however, I had been having those feelings about him as well. It was a thrill having this assertive action for my attention. Is it passion or dominance that women desire? I think it may be passion.

I do receive this kind of deep desire from my husband and thoroughly enjoy it. We could be walking up the canyon, and he’ll reach his arm around my waist and pull me in for a deeply affectionate kiss. He is still able to be assertive and ride me in ways I crave, but I ultimately hold the reigns. So, I get my Alpha and my Beta too with this system I propose.

I’m not sure we’ll ever move from the “Trained man under female authority” phase. It’s been a year. We’ll see. But the way I see semen retention change his biology to reveal his true nature, and the way I respond to it …it seems ..well ..natural. I’m not sure that “Real man retaining on his own giving the female what she really wants” is what I really want now as I must admit I enjoy feeling more more dominant and seem to be flourishing in our new roles.

Thanks for your thoughtful responses. This is the kind of discourse I was hoping this blog would provoke.

Joey k

Sunday, July 31, 2016
Interesting thoughts and story. I’ll take that into consideration.

I like how you describe semen retention as “changing male biology”, this way of putting it definitely resonates and there are strong mental and physical changes a man undergoes that I liken to a second puberty, one that is just as strong if not stronger than the first.

One thing I was curious about was the exact way the negative stimuli that you apply affect your husband. For example, in the classic Pavlov’s Dog scenario, salivation is an unconscious process that was brought on by the stimulus. When you use an aversive stimulus, is it effecting him consciously or unconsciously? For example, when you are riding him and he is able to last for long periods of time without ejaculation – is this because he is afraid of the aversive stimulus and then stopping himself from ejaculating, or is his body actively suppressing ejaculation to avoid an aversive?

Also, I was curious how old you both are? And yes, I also wanted to note that the conversations so far on this blog have been very valuable and not just “femdom” nonsense. I’ll be coming back for a while for sure.

Yoga Girl

Monday, August 01, 2016
I get comments from some that that think I’m doing something dreadfully wrong by applying a negative stimulus, and that somehow my husband is living in perpetual fear of me, and I’m stripping him of his dignity and manhood which would be pretty amusing if they ever met him. Having a low self esteem has never been attributed to my husband. My husband and I have had long intimate companion inventories where we have assessed our want’s, needs and goals as a couple and as individuals (all couples should do this). My husband needs a controlling female authority. He couldn’t do semen retention without it. If you were to ask him, he would tell you he is the happiest he’s ever been in his life despite submitting to me. He’s never experienced pleasure this intense.

To your question. He’s afraid of the aversive stimulus, and abstains from ejaculation. Personally, I think he fears the 8:30 bedtime or losing TV privileges more than anything else.

I’m in my late thirties, He’s in his forties. femdom only comes in to play as far as what his new biology requires from me. I’m happy to give it.

Thanks, Joey

Awedbywomen

Sunday, July 31, 2016
Good to see you started your own blog here, I look forward to reading everything you have to say. We have tried to help awaken my wife’s yoni with some tantric practices and methods, and are now doing certain aspects of FLR. It’s VERY interesting to see you mix the two – awesome!

Yoga Girl

Monday, August 01, 2016
Thanks, hope you find it useful. It’s our experience. I hope it translates to others.

Awedbywomen

Monday, August 01, 2016
As a point of curiosity, does your blog here have any connection with the femdom101 blog? I know femdom and flr aren’t the same thing, but I couldn’t help but note the similar names.

Anonymous

Sunday, July 31, 2016
I very much appreciate the experiences that you have posted and your discussion about male/female relatinoships. I have a couple questions and a comment. First, I was a little confused about how you allow your husband to release. Is this during intercourse, or externally? Is he allowed a full release (continuous stimulation during ejaculation)?
Off and on over the past year I have engaged in semen retention on my own and noted many of the same physical and mental experiences that you have detailed about your husband. I have noticed the increase in hardness and performance which has also increased my wife’s level of desire. One thing I have noted is that after I have one orgasm after 7 to 10 days, even a very powerful orgasm, my testosterone level does not drop to baseline but is at some level above that. For the next 24 to 48 hours I then have an extremely powerful desire to orgasm 1 or 2 additional times which would bring my testosterone level way down. Perhaps this is some memory effect of the pleasure, but it definitely impacts my mental state. After a couple days I can return to a more normal focus for the rest of the week. I am wondering if your husband experiences the same effect and whether you do anything differently on the day after his release?
Midshipman

Yoga Girl

Monday, August 01, 2016
“First, I was a little confused about how you allow your husband to release. Is this during intercourse, or externally? Is he allowed a full release (continuous stimulation during ejaculation)?”

He just finished two weeks of retention with an ejaculation today. He orgasms inside, pulls out and uses his hand to finish on me so I can examine his release for volume and taste. Incidently, he came and was fully energized after, which is one of the goals of retention. He can can cum and there is no sign of being depleted like needing a nap.

Yes, my husband is more compelled to ejaculate more easily after his release. He doesn’t do it however, but it is more of a struggle in intercourse sessions immediately after. We don’t do anything differently. We just resume retention, and it’s just a little more difficult than usual.

Thanks, Midshipman

awedbywomen

Monday, August 01, 2016
As a point of curiosity, does your blog here have any connection with the femdom101 blog? I know femdom and flr aren’t the same thing, but I couldn’t help but note the similar names.

Yoga Girl

Tuesday, August 02, 2016
No, I’m not aware of the femdom101 blog.

The Moderator

Monday, August 01, 2016
My response continued..

“Ask him if he’d like to start making decisions about his own body again, and see how he responds.”

Take a F#@kin guess, pal. And you bet I’m retaining through fear. I crave her control, and I’ve given her control over my life. I wish it could could be so much more cruel, but it can’t. She’s not that way. She’s a loving caring person. But we can’t have everything. I’ll take what I can get. You know what would really scare the sh##t out of me. If she put the collar around my neck while we were having sex with the controller in her hand and used it to control my perofrmance. But she wouldn’t do it. I haven’t asked her to do it as I know she’s not built that way. I fantasize that one day she would make me get a chastity device that’s held in place with a piercing with a lock on it. Will she do it? No way. What a bitch. I think it’s cruel that she won’t go that far. I think it would also be pretty cool if she would make me wear the collar and set it to the shock setting used to control for a dogs barking so I would be shocked if I even spoke. that would be AWESOME! But I know that’s beyond her morals. What a bitch. I’d jerk off to that fantasy if I was allowed.

Was one shock enough to eliminate jerking off. Yeah it was. I haven’t jerked off in a year, so I’d say it was effective. I wish she was the type of woman that would strap the collar around my neck, crank it up to 50 and zap the hell out of me because she found a crumb on the dishes I just washed. Sadly, she wouldn’t do that either. What a bitch. It’s enough to make me cry. Why is she so cruel. Why god!? WHY?!!!

You know why I think I respond to fear. Because I’ve never been afraid before. People generally have been afraid of me though. Let’s say “intense” is an adjective that would be an understatement to describe me.

And now she’s threatening to move to a bedtime as an averse stimulus. You what. That’s more terrifying than the shock collar ever was. We only used the collar once a year ago. I was hoping to get to know it so much better even though it is effective. It turns me on, but I strongly try to avoid it.

“You forced him into this “program” as a condition of your marriage and enforce your will with electrocution.”

I know, right? She’s so f#$kin hot.

EVEN IF, somehow that is not true, you are encouraging others to do it with this blog.

NO, she does not recommend it for anybody else to try. She is only talking about our experience. If your a couple contemplating this, don’t do it no matter how fun the Youtube videos look.

Sincerely, good luck with your blog.

Yoga Girl

Tuesday, August 02, 2016
My husband ejaculated the day before he responded to the above poster. Obviously, he’s still in his post ejaculation phase. He might need to be extended.

James

Tuesday, August 02, 2016
I don’t know where you got these conclusions about post-ejaculation men. I am NEVER calmer and more at ease than after I have had an orgasm. As an experiment, in my 20s I went 14 days without one, and I was frustrated, distracted, and angry.

Your husband’s post has the anger and lack of clarity of someone who needs to orgasm. I couldn’t even tell what position he was taking half the time, other than that he was angry at me of course.

I have never known someone with a lot of testosterone who was calm and compliant yet your whole program of retention seems to rely on it.

Yoga Girl

Tuesday, August 02, 2016
Actually, he just ejaculated the day before he responded to you. You’ll find that the frustrations and anger are not the case with men in eastern traditions that practice semen retention. I don’t think it would be a centuries practice if that were the case.

It’s actually men with a lack of testosterone that have mood problems. Low testosterone levels often causes a man to have low energy, depression, and irritability. A male in his 20’s will recuperate and replenish faster and doesn’t have as much of a need for retention as someone older. And there are many other factors which can impact the experience as a whole.

Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of data out there to fully prove or disprove any of the theories presented. There are countless variables to be accounted for. In the Journal of Sex Medicine 2016 Jul;13(7):1029-46, this very challenge is examined.

“Challenges in Testosterone Measurement, Data Interpretation, and Methodological Appraisal of Interventional Trials.”

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27209182

I have observed what works for us and am assuming it could work for others as it has for the poster toward the end of this thread. Perhaps not everyone, and that’s okay. I can prescribe a medication, but not everybody will respond the same. Everyone is a snowflake. If what I have to say is helpful for someone, then I am happy for sharing. If it isn’t helpful, maybe we can learn from it and all become the wiser.

Namaste

Yoga Girl

Monday, August 01, 2016
I attempted a couple of times to get this post on here. Sorry, Dominique. Blogspot is finicky.

Hi Yoga Girl,
I don’t really think that the natural progression of FLR is « Depleted boy -> Trained man under female authority -> Real man retaining on his own giving the female what she really wants…something like that.”
I consider myself as an alpha male who manage money and people and is rather dominant but I know that I’m a truly submissive when it comes to sexuality. The first hard-on I remember was when I was maybe 7 years old and really don’t know what was happening. But I also remember that this hard-on was associated with the thought of me being the slave of a powerful empress. Thank you for Hollywood and its peplums. Trained or not I don’t think I’ll ‘be able or want to retain of my own if I’ don’t get the support and motivation of my wife. Certainly I would prefer to masturbate and be in my own world of submissiveness.
In the past we have tried some FLR which has been tattered by the time. What was remaining of that period? I do all the cooking, set the table, do the dishes, go to the grocery and my paycheck is deposited in a join account which I have no access. My wife manages our money and is not accountable of anything in that matter to me. But I stopped doing things I really dislike: vacuuming, mopping, washing, dusting, ironing … things I was doing only to fulfill my desire to serve her but was not comfortable to take.

I think we fail because I was topping from the bottom and our lack of sexual activity. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again as we tried with your concept. So I’ll let her choose what she wants me to do for het to alleviate her workload and use my growing time gained on masturbation time and my renewed energy due to the changes in my biology.
I’m the one who ask you the question about what you use for the first assertive stimulus s and I’m a little more than embarrassed with some of the comments on your answer. Some people don’t really read or understood and are very quick to judge each other’s. I have talked about the shock collar with my wife and she’s a little reticent to use it on me because she’s loving and don’t want to harm me. But I think that’s in my state of semi-permanent hard-on it’ll be a real torture, far more than electric shocks, if she choose for example to make me wear a tight chastity device for an all week.
So my idea is to do a session where I would have to stroke my cock n times without ejaculation (should my wife give me the number ?) then receive the same number of strokes by my wife with the paddle .That again and again till my wife is tired or my cock is completely limp. As I ‘m not a specialist what do you think of this proposition? Is it topping from the bottom to propose this to my wife knowing that I have no stamina concerning physical punishment and will cry like a baby after the first three strokes? I think enforced bedtime at 8:00 for a week is also a very strong averse stimulus. It’s a good idea to write an article on the specific averse stimuli and how to apply it.
We have read your two first articles and my wife like the spiritual input and we think that it can really turn on our relationship.

So what are our first observations after a little more than a week? We are astonished by my stamina during the therapeutic stimulation; my erections are stronger and more frequent. And I have got t blue balls! Seriously! I was laughing at first when I read your warning about this phenomenon. But after four sessions it was becoming really sore. And at the beginning of a session when I talked to my wife about this issue she grabbed my balls and began to knead them in a not so gentle manner for some long minutes. But paramount to all of this I have discovered that my wife can be multi-orgasmic.

I know that each relationship is different but I’m curious about the other rules that you have established under the masterpiece rule which is semen retention through an ejaculation schedule?
Dominique

Yoga Girl

Monday, August 01, 2016
“I have talked about the shock collar with my wife and she’s a little reticent to use it on me because she’s loving and don’t want to harm me.”

She’s a wise woman. Don’t pursue the collar. I do not advocate the training collar. I’m a PCP, I know my husband’s health. We only used it once. There are many other averse stimuli that are just as effective and safer and cheaper like:

• An early bedtime for a week (however long she chooses).

-revoking TV or computer time.

-putting him on an allowance and restricting or increasing it according to his behavior.

-If he’s a sports fan, deciding which games he will be able to watch if any. Personally, I think sports watching should be eliminated, but that’s for each individual wife to decide.

-restricting time out with his friends. That should always be at the discretion of the wife. If he’s going out with friends, he should always call and ask permission first.

-corner time.

There are so many other options for the male that crave a controlling female authority, your goals can be easily accomplished without any physical contact.

If you want to do this as a trial period for 30 days, commit to semen retention, vow that you will only ejaculate with her permission. Let her set your schedule. She knows you and hopefully has an idea what you can tolerate as far the period you can endure between ejaculations. Discuss what would be aversive to you for consequences.

You mentioned that it didn’t work out when you topped from the bottom in the past. I think it’s okay to have a companion inventory and discuss your want’s, needs & goals as a couple. During this meeting, I want to know what my husbands fantasies are, but it doesn’t mean they’re going to happen, and he doesn’t get upset if things don’t play out that way as I have my limits. I only do what I’m comfortable with. She should know that as you retain with daily stimulation, you may have a need to demonstrate to her how much you want to be owned by her and give you an outlet to demonstrate that.

I’m not sure I understood your scenario, but that’s more question for your wife anyway.

“But paramount to all of this I have discovered that my wife can be multi-orgasmic.”

Did I understand this statement to mean that you are having intercourse while retaining for longer thrusting sessions, and she is having multiple orgasms now?

“I know that each relationship is different but I’m curious about the other rules that you have established under the masterpiece rule which is semen retention through an ejaculation schedule?”

That’s pretty much it. Semen retention reveals to him his true nature, and everything flows from that and is just details that aren’t really important.

I think your right that most men won’t want to retain on their own. I think men will discover their nature under a controlling female authority when they practice these principles (The holy trinity: Retention – schedule – consequences (RSC) ). And they will probably want to stay there.

Anonymous

Tuesday, August 02, 2016
Hi Yoga Girl,
Thank you very much for your answers and the time you spend on it.
“Did I understand this statement to mean that you are having intercourse while retaining for longer thrusting sessions, and she is having multiple orgasms now? “
Yes, you understand very well. When I read your articles for the first time it was so mind-blowing that I started to retain on my own and my last masturbation was on the 07/22/16. As you can guess my submissiveness has increased day after day until I asked my wife to try your process. She accepted and we have had more sex in these days than in the last semester. And of course she’s not allowing ejaculation. Yes we are at the very beginning but it’s a good start. At the moment she’s scheduling my ejaculation’s days for the next month to come.
Even if I have discussed with her the consequences principle she has not yet read your article. To finish with this subject, I see the consequences like the ultimate proof that she really want to go on with this kind of relationship if ever I fail in my determination. In no way I want to test her and will try my very best to behave. But in rash moment I may fail and that’s at this moment that I’ll need her full support.
“That’s pretty much it. Semen retention reveals to him his true nature, and everything flows from that and is just details that aren’t really important.”
You are very right. But the FLR community is not so large and I think it’s also interesting to see how each others are living this lifestyle in the everyday life to get some ideas and new development.
Dominique

Yoga Girl

Tuesday, August 02, 2016
It’s wonderful reading your comment. I wanted to put this blog together because we believe that there are likely many couples trying this type of relationship who could learn from the hurdles we’ve dealt with and things we’ve discovered. Also we think there are many more people that have never heard of these concepts but have desires that they may feel guilt or shame about. We don’t believe that people should be wasting time on these negative feelings as these fantasies may be natural and exist for a biological purpose. There are also many more relationships that fall apart needlessly because of a lack of understanding of how much biology shapes our behavior.

We hope our efforts can save, deepen, and help other people flourish in their relationships. Hopefully as people are able to understand each other better and build stable loving relationships, accepting all the darkness and the light within each other, they can transcend to experience all of life in ways they never could before.

~Namaste

The moderator

Monday, August 01, 2016
Sorry, James. I’m trying to keep the discussion civil, and judgemental remarks just serve to inflame. Hope you understand.

Anonymous

Saturday, September 03, 2016
Dear Yoga Girl
Thank you for your wonderful comments!
Yoga boy

Yoga Girl

Saturday, September 03, 2016
You’re welcome. Thanks for reading! 🙂

Awedbymywoman

Thursday, September 15, 2016
Yoga Girl,

I was just re-reading this post today as I think it’s one of the capstone articles of your overall ‘book.’ There’s two things I was wondering if you could comment on:

1. You mention “I will address awakening your yoni in a later article if yours is a little sleepy after years of 3 minute sessions with your partners or your own personal issues.” I’m primarily wondering if there is an email where your blog readers can contact you directly, as this is something I want to ask in depth about and share some of my wife and I’s issues in this area. You don’t have one listed on your blog, and many blogs have a ‘contact me’ email. Just curious if you’d be open to that, because I really think some of your thoughts could benefit us, but it’s not something I want to discuss in a comment section.
2. You also say: “I feel that even one upstroke on his penis is an infraction of the no masturbation rule, and an averse stimulus will be applied.” I want to say I agree with this, as there have been many times where I’ve masturbated without ejaculation, often mixed with porn or other titillating material, and this in and of itself has caused major problems. Could you expand on your thoughts about why this is such a problem for marriages, based on your experience and studies? I’d love to hear them.

Yoga Girl

Thursday, September 15, 2016

1. The awakening your yoni article is next, and is almost done. I’m going to have to think on the contact thing and the implications of it. I’m not concerned about you, but there others that would make it unfeasible, and I also have a full load at the clinic. At this point, I’m not sure how it would work.
2. I think masturbation is a problem for males in that they are just highly driven to spread their seed. Without female contact, they’ll just take matters into their own hands more frequently than they should. The main problem with that is that it strips them of desire for their primary mate, and they then drift apart as a couple. I must say that the pre-climax stimulation has decreased dramatically my husbands desire to view novel females. He hasn’t requested that privilege since our experiment. I still have sex with him in this manner. Also, our sex is so intense, he finds masturbation a huge let down. I might expand on that in a future post.

~Namaste

Yoga Girl

Thursday, September 15, 2016
My name is tied to my email so contacting via email won’t be possible. I’ll need to keep things the way they are. Hopefully the upcoming article will be helpful.

A Happy Husband

Saturday, October 15, 2016
Thank you Yoga Girl for this excellent blog. I hope that more people can read this and start to grasp the potential here to increase intimacy within the marriage. My wife and I have dabbled in this a bit. She does now and then tell me I’m not allowed to touch myself. Usually this is for 2-3 days leading up to sex, and it really does increase the intensity. Just from holding back 2-3 days, I have experienced many of the feelings you’ve described here. I always do nice things for her, but at these times I do it with more joy and pleasure.

I don’t know if my wife would want to fully take this authority over me. And I don’t know if I could handle it on a permanent basis. The idea of being 100% dependent on her for a release just blows my mind, and honestly is a little scary. But I am going to discuss it with her and see what she thinks. I think the way you’ve explained it here could help her understand more clearly why this works and what the benefits could be.

Scary and exiting, that’s for sure!

Yoga Girl

Saturday, October 15, 2016
Your right. It is scary for the man to hand over control of his release to the wife permanently. It’s one of the reasons that this is still a trial period for us even though it’s been more than a year. At some point, I expect to make have a ceremony and he takes vows to make this permanent, but I understand his need to call it a trial period in his head. The sex my husband has is way beyond any standard sex he has experienced. Good luck on your journey!

Namaste

Anonymous

Monday, October 17, 2016
Yoga Girl,

I just found your blog today and absolutely love it. My wife and I are currently in a progressive marriage that is borderline FL. In bed she initiates sex almost all of the time. My problem is I masterbate often rarely initiating sex. She thinks it’s her which couldn’t be further from the truth as she is still an attractive woman. Self control is something I struggle with. I’m almost positive that if I didn’t do it as often that we would have sex more than the 2-3x’s a month.

What would you suggest I do to control myself from masterbating? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Yoga Girl

Monday, October 17, 2016
Thanks for reading. I would suggest you introduce your wife to the my blog. Click on the book (it’s free) link above and read the chapters in order. You should confess to her that you have a masturbation problem, and it has affected your relationship with her, and you want it to improve because she deserves better, and ask her for her help assisting you in controlling yourself if it wouldn’t cause undue strife in your marriage.

My husband couldn’t control his habit without my assistance. Just me knowing about his problem made a big difference. Many women just assume their husband doesn’t do this or do it as much as he does. You’re wife needs to know your habit is robbing the passion from her marriage. She needs to realize what you do in private is indeed her business as it affects her. She should be actively involved and regulate or abolish your porn viewing, and of course extinguish your masturbation habit. I don’t know your wife so I don’t know what aversive stimulus she might be willing to apply, but you should have companion inventories where possible averse consequences can be discussed, and of course you need to be always honest. I assume your already an honest man and would never lie to your wife.

Anonymous

Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Thank you for your feedback Yoga Girl.

May I ask how a porn viewing and masterbation is regulated? With mobile devices and so many avenues to view porn how does a woman monitor their husband? Is it just the honor system or is their active measures that should be taken?

Yoga Girl

Tuesday, October 18, 2016
I regulate it by asking him. I have a 10 second rule. If he stumbles on to porn, he has 10 seconds to leave the page or the averse stimulus will be applied. I’m not married to a liar so it’s a simple question and a simple answer. If a woman is married to a liar, none of this will work, and she has a much greater problem that is outside the scope of this blog.

I don’t use a cock cage to stop him from touching himself. He knows the rules. He knows the punishment. It works.

Anonymous

Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Oh by active measures I didn’t mean just Chastity but wasn’t sure if you or you recommended child locks that block porn sites on his mobile devices or his computer.

The honor system makes the most sense especially when it comes to a marriage and building strong trust worthy bonds. Thanks for the feedback.

Yoga Girl

Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Porn blocker software could be a good idea. I just haven’t used it as I know he wouldn’t lie to me. I know men want a very restrictive environment, and software that was implemented by their wife would add to that. I think ideally, some men would be highly aroused if they had wives that implemented, porn blocker software, made them wear a cock cage, put them on an allowance, regulated their free time and set a bedtime for them with extreme discipline for infractions.

As a great philosopher once said:

You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need 🙂

Anonymous

Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Hi There! So grateful Your blog exists. Really (really!) helpful stuff. Could go on at length, but quick question about masturbation and long distance relationships. It seems like part of the regimen is pretty regular work outs for the phallus. Obviously no emissions, but is that regular stimulation a necessary component of SR? If so, and this is relationship to relationship and ultimately we find what works for us, but do You have any insights, feelings, responses to this issue?

Thanks in advance. . . you’re awesome!

Yoga Girl

Thursday, October 20, 2016
Well, almost daily vaginal stimulation is a component for us, and an important part of it I feel.

This is just my opinion from my observation. I don’t use my hands to stimulate my husband often, but we had a experience I thought was interesting as far as stimulation without vaginal contact that relates to your question as to whether a male could just stimulate himself without release.

Usually we have sex with only vaginal stimulation. The other day, we had intercourse and afterward when I was done, I lie next to him and used his semen/precum to and worked his penis with my hand for a period of time, and we stopped because his brain was gone after a point. He then had blue balls for the rest of the night which never happens with prolonged periods of just vaginal stimulation. I don’t know why this would be the case. Maybe there is more of an energy exchange when the lingam is in contact with the yoni, and it’s just blocked with stimulation with my hand. My husband doesn’t want to repeat it for the sake of replication for science.

I don’t like celibacy (no ejaculation, no stimulation) for men either
But if you edge yourself with her on the phone, it would be interesting to see if you have any discomfort after. She will need to decide on your ejaculation schedule, maybe just a couple of days in the beginning and go from there. But she can still start to condition your release with the sound of her voice on the phone. you shouldn’t release until you hear her voice give the release command. It’s good to to reinforce that association. She should be present in some way when that happens. Just my feelings on the matter.

Anonymous

Saturday, October 29, 2016
How can I contact u in regards to using some of the information that u have on this blog for another online site?

Yoga Girl

Sunday, October 30, 2016
You could send me your email address by relplying right here in the comments section. All comments are moderated so it won’t be published here. Please state all the specifics in your comment, the site, how it will be used etc, and I’ll get back to you if I’m interested.

Lingering Need

Sunday, November 06, 2016
“…masturbation will become just a distant memory as he seeks your hand instead of his. It really can’t be any other way…”

hmmm. what does this say about me in that I consider this to be the very first step?

You have a very lucky boy in your life.

Anonymous

Thursday, November 17, 2016
Hello Yoga Girl, thank you for such a thoughtful blog and I will say it looks like your husband is a lucky man. I have recently ceased to masturbate and your blog helped me to make the decision. The effects are amazing and my wife, whom I scheduled some time with and explained “some of” why I am doing it, seems to love the results and being my new focus. We have not discussed FLR at all and if / when we do I imagine it would be a lighter form. But I have been readying RWDDH for years and know that I crave some form of this type of life-style. So far my wife is very accommodating and allows me to be with her to orgasm every 3-4 days.

The reason I am writing is that she, so far, is not at all interested in her own sexual satisfaction outside of the time between her period and ovulation…about 10 days…the rest of the time she takes care of me but has no interest in her own orgasm. She might let me try if I asked, but basically discourages it. She is in her late 30’s. Curious if you had any thoughts or tips for us…so that I might raise her interest in her own sexual satisfaction. Otherwise I am lucky enough to rub her feet every night and be a good conversationalist…which is something that she has always wanted but I was too selfish and distracted to offer.

Thanks again…

Yoga Girl

Thursday, November 17, 2016
Our hormones have a way of impacting us in all kinds of ways. When her progesterone levels are higher, she becomes more aroused. This is common for many women. You may need to respect and be patient waiting for her to reach that moment.

She may also have other stress and distractions preventing her from fully letting go and flowering. Helping her feel beautiful and radiant can help. Most of us aren’t in the mood to orgasm if we don’t feel attractive or have self esteem issues. Do your best to help her see the amazing things in herself she might not be seeing.

For myself, time constraints do get in the way at times, and I’m really not in the mood to have sex nearly as often as I do. However, I am quite vain. I know that having my orgasms with my husband floods my body with all kinds of fountain of youth hormones. The fluids, the emotions, the bonding, the spiritual connection are a longevity elixir. So I go through the ritual of having sex just like I put on my facial moisturizers. The thing is, once I get going, I quickly become aroused and get into it and thoroughly enjoy the experience.

I think if more women realized how much younger and youthful their appearance could become having regular intimacy and orgasms, they would be grateful for every opportunity to engage in the activity. The effects can surpass many of the anti-aging creams on the market which can be quite costly to boot.

Anonymous

Friday, November 18, 2016
Thanks YG. Good perspective. Plan to go 2-3 months just getting both of used to the no masturbating scenario, see how it affects anyone, and then maybe that would be a time to introduce thoughts on other aspects of our arrangement and sex life. I appreciate your response.

Anonymous

Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Just updating as these last two posts are mine. Its been 1 month since I stopped masturbating about 1+ times per day. No schedule, my wife is accommodating and we have averaged ejaculation every 2 – 4 days depending on her cycle and my needs. She also generally wants me to ejaculate inside of her and will whisper what she needs to if I intend to retain. So this is not 100% compatible with your own experiment.

But I will say this…at least with my personal biology, this has been completely mind blowing and transformational. Having my wife as my sole source of sexual pleasure, coupled with the biological changes associated with less frequent orgasms has changed everything.

We have gone from 2 – 3 intimate sessions per month with modest interest to basically non-stop contact of some kind and making love every few days, from arguing and nit picking and me wandering off in the evenings… to me begging her to let me be her servant in the evenings. She can melt my brain with a few nice kisses and honestly the emotions that I have after 3 or 4 days without ejaculation are totally unexpected and intense. The other day I broke down in the morning and had to tell her how intensely I felt that I loved her. During sex today I begged her to let me worship her and call her goddess. For me that was basically insane. She looks wonderful to me regardless of how much effort she has put in, and I dissipate some of the pent up energy I have by doing things I know will make her life easier. I can’t tell you how many times per day I am asking her if I can do anything for her. This has all happened totally naturally by making this one small change.

I must have an abnormally high drive and affects of the hormone cocktail involved in this process. As I am not truly retaining…but if on day 3 of abstinence we cuddle for a half hour in the morning I will have butterflies and be light headed for the first 4 hours of the day and unable to concentrate…constantly fantasizing. The most challenging part has been doing a good job at work actually.

I seem to rebound from PE very quickly…I would say masturbating daily my “love hormones” stayed in 0-1 range most of the time…I was a total jerk and did not know it. For the last month I have kept a journal…I seem to ride at a level of 6 – 8 now and my PE is very short…maybe a day (i’m sure you’ll disagree) and i only go down to a 4 or 5. I actually asked her today if we could schedule time in the evenings for me to serve her about 2 hours after ejaculation…as an example of how I just never get back to a low level of interest of being affectionate and submissive to her.

Keep in mind prior to this our marriage was getting rocky for a couple of years. Kids will do that. But so far this has instilled the courtship and realigned my focus on my wife. She has always and even more now done lots of small things that she knows I love…she’s a great woman. I am openly trying to offer her more power through this and she has accepted some, but is not interested in being too manipulative. I am perfectly fine the way things are now. Very balanced, but I want and need her constantly, and with the biological changes that are occurring I’m very naturally treating her much more like the goddess she is.

So…thanks YG for your blog and for playing a part in our discovery of this unique improvement to marriage!

Yoga Girl

Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Thanks you so much for coming back and sharing your experience! It really made my day. I don’t think anyone could get a better result than you two have achieved from this. I may use your post on my testimonial page if that’s OK, if not, just let me know. Your wife must be very happy with these results. Thanks again.

~Namaste

Anonymous

Saturday, January 07, 2017
wonderful blog you have here. Nicely put and everything seem logical. I want share and practice this with my wife but I’m afraid how. I’m afraid how she’s gonna react or what will she think.

Another thing is if there’s a discontinution of masterbation there will be/should be wet dreams. what you have to say about that.

Yoga Girl

Saturday, January 07, 2017
Only you can gauge your wife’s reaction. There must be a way to tread carefully and test the waters if you don’t know how she will react. Maybe during your bedroom time talking about fantasies etc. Maybe ask her what her fantasies are.

Talk about a crazy news story you saw on ABC:

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/skip-orgasm-point-couples-embrace-karezza-sex-climax-strengthen-relationships-article-1.1113052

Although I would stress that the no orgasm part only applies to the male. Alice Bunker Stockham (The creator) only brought up that the women should abstain as well just to be fair to the men. The Tao certainly wouldn’t agree. Women are multi orgasmic creatures.

There’s also this intro video to Cupid’s Poison arrow:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6jOp7XmjGY

Again they stress that the women abstain from orgasm as well, but that’s not natural as far as I’m concerned. But it’s a nice little video with a tone that might appeal. Only you know for sure. I feel that a female practicing intercourse with a male that’s practicing karezza opens the gate to the female being able to be multi orgasmic. You of course can practice together anyway you like.

I can only speak for my husband, but he doesn’t have wet dreams retaining for only a week.

This is one of a few blogs that were published by Yoga Girl at her website at http://flr101.blogspot.com. This site is now offline but all credit goes to her.