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Attraction & Courtship

Typically men find themselves most attracted to women their age or younger. Women, on the other hand usually find men older than them to be most attractive. The male attraction to younger women may be because younger women have a higher likelihood of reproducing successfully. Women on the other and find established men to be more attractive. This may be due to an older man being more established and having more likelihood of sticking around during pregnancy and after birth of a child. A recent study found that, at least in the online dating world, women reach peak desirability around age 18 with men peaking at age 50. I was surprised by this age disparity.

The top 10 traits that men find attractive about women are:

  1. Happy – Men find women who are happy and deal with situations using a positive attitude and mindset. Men like women who try and enjoy every moment in their life.
  2. Good sense of humor – Men like women that have a good sense of humor, are playful and not easily offended by jokes.
  3. Intelligent – When a woman doesn’t succumb to the “dumb blonde” stereotype and shows that she is not only a very smart blonde but she is capable of thought provoking conversation, it can be a very attractive trait.
  4. Pretty – Men seek women who are attractive and youthful looking. The traits that men seek are typically linked to reproduction such as breasts and hips. Whether looking to have children or not, men are subconsciously seeking women who are suitable to carry their young.
  5. Ambitious – Women who are ambitious with passions, goals and priorities are attractive. When women are independent and don’t depend on anyone for financial and emotional needs, men find them attractive.
  6. Confident & Strong – Women that are strong, don’t care about what others think about her and willing to stand as an equal with their partner can be very attractive to men.
  7. Emotionally stable – We all know how emotions can get the best of us sometimes. Men do have it easier in that their emotions typically aren’t as overwhelming and debilitating.
  8. Dominant – Women who can show her man that not only is she capable of receiving his love and adoration, she is capable of dishing it out and showing him how she wants to be loved.
  9. Honesty – Nobody wants to be lied to and honesty is a trait that is respected and attractive. Dishonesty is an enormous turn off for both genders.
  10. Kindness – Men love a woman that exhibits a nurturing and kind personality. For example if you lock him up and he is whining about being locked for two weeks, show some compassion and give him a swift swat on the butt and a peck on the cheek.
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The top 10 traits women find attractive about men are:

  1. Good sense of humor – Women like men that have a good sense of humor that can help them separate themselves from intense or highly emotional situations.
  2. Altruistic – Women like men who are giving, do good deeds. This may be a way for the woman to subconsciously determine if he is a good ma, increasing the chances of the man treating herwell.
  3. Wealthy – Many of the female traits come down to stability. Typically a woman doesn’t need the man to be filthy rich, she is just trying to determine if he has drive, ambition and energy. Women who still plan to have children typically seek stability more than others.
  4. Older – Men with some age under their belt typically have accumulated more resources because they have been around longer. This comes down to the stability attraction noted in number 4.
  5. Facial hair – This actually goes both ways, some women love a nice luxurious beard while some women can’t stand a beard and want their man to be clean shaven (In case you were wondering, this is where I fall).
  6. Unavailable – Women seek unavailable men because unavailable men are seen as more valuable.
  7. Men with dogs – Women tend to subconsciously see men with dogs as more stable and capable of taking care of others.
  8. Mindful – Men that are more aware of their surroundings, more focused on her make her feel more valuable and make her feel more confident around him.
  9. Handsome – Women seek handsome men because they are more likely to have good looking offspring. We are genetically hard wired to seek attractive mates.
  10. Risk taker – This one is a bit different. Women tend to find men who exhibit risk taking behavior as more attractive for short term relationships. If you come off as a bad boy or risk taker, you are more likely to get that one night stand but not the relationship. Physical risks (drinking & smoking) are seen as more attractive than other risks (skydiving, financial, etc)
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So much of sexual attraction for both genders is rooted around reproduction. We are the first generation that has the ability to have sex for pure pleasure without really needing to factor childbearing into the equation. Yes, accidents happen but for the most part children only happen when we are careless or don’t take precautions.

Do you remember at the beginning of your relationship when he would bring you flowers, when he actively was pursuing you. Do you remember how excited you were to get into bed with him? Everything was new, everything was fresh. Both of you were eager and excited for intimacy and learning about one another. As you journey down this road of chastity, you may be reminded of those early days. When you were being wooed, when long evening conversations turned into early mornings of enjoying one another’s company. You both got comfortable with your relationship over time and those behaviors faded as they typically do. What would you give to feel those butterflies again? Not just for you but for both of you.


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From the moment that you lock him for the first time, you will feel that fear and excitement of doing something new. Doing something different. As time goes on, the results will be shocking as that middle aged man you’ve grown so fond of will seem to be that spry young man that you fell in love with. He will have more energy and focus that energy directly on you. He will become eager to please you with a deep regard for your feelings. Just being around him will give you a great level of comfort and happiness. Sounds too good to be true, right? It sounded too good to be true to me as well. For the cost of some of your sexual energy and a disruption in your sex life which let’s be honest – was getting a bit mundane anyway.


You can revive that biological energy that was present when you first met, the drive that led him to ask you out on a date or swipe right on Tinder. That energy is his male sex drive which unrestrained, controls many of his actions and decisions. The cage focuses all of that energy directly on you. All of that sexual energy is focused on ensuring that you are happy, satisfied and unstressed. This may seem like he is trying to placate you and barter with you for sex but it is far deeper than it may seem at first glance. Within a month or so, you will see his old habits of bargaining for sex be replaced with an enormous desire to make you happy. His hormonal levels will change and he will start exhibiting more desire to communicate and empathize with you. For the first time, you might find yourself having a satisfying girl-talk with the man in your life. Due to his heightened levels, you will learn that a compliment or complaint from you will have significantly more impact than it did previously. Fun!

The best part of being a man is to make the lives of the women around you easier. You are wired that way and for most men, acts of service and sacrifice bring great joy and satisfaction. You were given muscles and she was given beauty and brains to motivate and encourage you to be a better partner.

You will notice that he responds much better to teasing as it helps to amplify that sexual energy. Check out my article on teasing to learn how to utilize teasing to take things to the next level. Above all, be glad that you are embarking on a new journey and enjoy your time together. This increase your intimacy and take your communication to new levels.



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