Hi everyone, first post of 2019! I had a request to write about one of the times that I shared my favorite relationship secret with one of my friends. For the sake of this story, let’s call her… Lucy. So Lucy and I were talking and she was going on about how her husband was boring in bed, she was losing the spark, he was lazy around the house and with the kids, you know the drill. I was starting to grow weary of her complaints about a man who is probably perfectly capable of being her ideal husband so I decided it was a good time to tell her. I started with the sentence “I’ve got an idea that might help but you’ll need to be open minded…”. After I said it, I realized that it was probably not the right way to start the conversation since she looked at me as if I was going to suggest a threesome or sell her Amway or something equally horrible.
I did have her full attention and took a breath and said ok… So you know how a man is basically controlled by his penis?
Lucy cut me off and said I know all he wants to do is have sex even though our relationship isn’t even good right now.
I tried again and said, yeah exactly. So not to side with him or anything but that isn’t really his fault, his hormones are telling him that sex needs to happen in order for things to be good again. In order to bring a level of normalcy back to your relationship, sex has to be there.
Rather annoyed, she said ok so you want me to have sex with him and everything goes back to normal for him?
Quite the contrary I said. Her eyes squinted a bit and you could see the confusion on her face. She went from mildly annoyed to very interested in about two seconds.
I explained a bit about how often men need sex, how beneficial the sex-anticipation hormones are and how ejaculating impacts them. I could tell that she was very interested and she asked the question that I had been waiting for.
So if I am not giving him sex then he is just going to go off and do it on his own in the shower, on the computer or with his phone. Who knows, he might even do it at work.
There might be a solution for that, I said. How often do you think Kevin (My boyfriend) gets off, I asked? She said- I don’t know, every day or two I guess. I laughed a bit but didn’t correct her.
I pulled up a picture of a holy trainer style cage on my phone and handed it to Lucy. Do you think he would wear something like this? She laughed to herself and said THERE IS NO WAY RYAN (not his real name) IS GOING TO WEAR THAT THING. I said… you might be surprised and opened up a picture of Kevin wearing his little pink cage. She looked at the picture, looked back at me, grabbed the phone from me and zoomed in. Halfway between a laugh and a gasp, she handed the phone back to me with a look of disbelief on her face.
After we laughed together for a couple minutes, we chatted for a bit and between the two of us, we came up with a plan to give it a shot. She seemed genuinely unhappy in her marriage and didn’t see much of a downside. We decided to catch up later in the week and see how things went but I told her to order a cage right then and there to lock things down quickly in case he agrees. I explained that we had gone through a few and pointed out the cage that Kevin and I liked the most – the pink cage that she had seen in the picture. Lucy ordered it but decided to go for a more subtle clear color.
Due to various arguments and bad feelings toward each other, they hadn’t been intimate in nearly two weeks although she said that she knows he masturbates every morning since he gets up much earlier than she does. She decided to confront him about masturbating and go from there. I explained that if they agree to it, she can’t go to a week-long lockup overnight. They need to play with it and work their way up to it as his comfort allows. If it is truly uncomfortable, there is no way he will agree to wear it for the better part of a week. This is after-all something that he needs to agree to do willingly for their relationship because that is half the magic.
I got a call the very next day, she had awoke with him that morning and told him that she knows he masturbates each morning. He looked at her with that deer in the headlights look. She told him that she was hurt that he was choosing to pleasure himself rather than working on their relationship and went on about some detailed issues that I’ll fast forward through. Lucy explained the hormones and told him that she knows he doesn’t have the willpower to give up his daily habit and she doesn’t want to feel more hurt when he lets her down again. She explained how much of a turn on it would be to know that she would be in control of something as powerful as his sex drive. She told him that one of her friends suggested a cage and explained that it helped her friend’s relationship significantly. The last sentence that Lucy said to Ryan was the one that sealed the deal. Ryan, don’t you want things to be more like they used to be?
It was quite obvious that they both felt something was lacking and they agreed to give it a shot as he went off to work. She was calling me because the cage she had ordered wouldn’t be in for another couple days and wanted to get one of the spares that I had. Knowing that fitting a cage is a trial and error process for everyone, I was more than happy to give her one of the spares that we had. She described his manhood and it sounded like our men were equipped about the same so fit should be similar. Lucy met me at work and grabbed the little bag with the clanking pieces of metal in it. She told me that she was going to look at it the moment that she got in the car, asking only – did you wash it?
I didn’t hear from Lucy for a couple days so I reached out to her to find out what was going on. She apologized and said that they have been playing with the cage for an hour or two, then removing it. She was hoping to get him to wear it overnight during the coming weekend. I checked in with Lucy that Sunday to see how it went. Lucy said that the cage she ordered during our initial conversation had arrived and Ryan preferred the clear plastic as opposed to the metal. He not only wore it overnight successfully with a bit of Vaseline on the ring but he had agreed to try it for three days straight that coming week.
I called Lucy on what would have been the third day and she told me about the massage she received the previous night, she explained that he had instantly become more attentive and considerate. She was actually worried that it was all an act and questioned Ryan’s motives. I told her to relax and don’t overthink it, the cage really does help domesticate even the most wild man. She laughed at the my choice to use the word domesticate but agreed that it suited the way he was acting towards her. When caged, he would frequently help with the kids, offer to give her massages, do the household laundry and other chores around the house. These are all things that he had never previously done.
This all started shortly before Thanksgiving and as of this writing, it is very early into 2019. Lucy still has Ryan caged off and on and the magic doesn’t seem to be diminishing, she is continually amazed at the changes that has seen in him. Their longest lockup period has only been five days but they are really getting into the groove. They haven’t attempted to have sex without allowing Ryan release but Lucy said that one will be coming soon. Lucy thanked me and confided that she finds it incredibly empowering to use the cage as a tool to show Ryan which of his actions and behaviors make her happiest in their relationship. Lucy’s reaction to my suggestion is part of what made me want to start this blog. In fact, I started writing a couple articles in Microsoft Word after getting home from that initial conversation.