Locktober is a fun and sexy challenge that couples do each year to see how much sex controls their relationship and dabble into the world of male chastity. Locktober is a challenge to put his sex drive aside and come together as one. I’ve written several other blogs about this wonderous time of the year and you are welcome to check those out. The goal of Locktober is to refrain from orgasm for the entire month of October. Remember that going even a week for some men may be absolutely ludicrous since he has conditioned himself to ride that orgasmic high on a daily basis from the time he was a teenager. This can be extremely difficult but in can be very impactful for the relationship and understanding the needs of each other.
As with most things, the hardest part is getting things underway. In this blog we will set out a cheat-sheet for your Locktober success. Reading this in March or June? No worries! You can do the challenge any month of the year. The first step is picking out a good cage. Unfortunately chastity devices are not always carried in your local sex shop so you will probably need to purchase them online. Go with a cheap one or two so you can figure out which style suits you best. Many couples go through two or three devices before they find the one that fits best. Alternatively there are companies that will custom fit devices however I’d still argue that you should experiment with a few cheap cages before spending a couple hundred dollars on a custom gold plated cage-o-magnifico.
Prior to starting Locktober, it is important that you try it on a few times beforehand. Wear it for an hour or two and always reward him after completing his hour or two. The cage should be a source of praise and joy together, it is not a punishment. Talk to him deeply before getting started. Some great conversation questions: Does Locktober make you scared or excited? Don’t accept a one word answer, he will almost undoubtedly say both, ask him to elaborate on each.
What are the benefits?
Locking him up has some amazing benefits and I would go so far as calling it a relationship lifehack. Locking him up takes his male sexual energy and bottles it up, redirecting it toward you. After a few days, you will notice more physical touching and attention along with a more thoughtful and chivalrous guy. Do you remember how he acted when you were first dating? The guy you fell in love with? Introduce chastity into your relationship and you will be able to welcome that guy back into your life. If you are new to keeping your relationship under lock and key, here are a few blogs that you might find interesting.
- The ideal penis is locked
- A chastity husband manifesto
- Loving female authority
- Attraction and courtship
- The sex barter system
- Reasons to lock the cock
- Lock him up for date night
The 8 stages of Locktober for the keyhoder wife – grumpy2017
Sample Locktober Calendar
Lock it up!
If he is new to chastity, I wouldn’t recommend starting him the night before. Start in the morning and get his willy under lock and key. Do it with a smile on your face and enjoy this entire process together.
You will hear all about it.
No doubt he will be talking about it constantly. If he is new to chastity, humor him for a bit but at some point you will grow weary of this conversation. At some point you will need to squash it and only allow discussion if you initiate it. I like to start in the morning by asking how well he slept in his cage and having a brief discussion so he can get it out of his system.
Your teasing game is strong!
At this point he is starting to settle in so give him some light teasing. Cradle him in your hand and admire his cage. Perhaps some compliments about how he looks in his cage. Reinforce your Locktober fun with some positive feedback. Teasing doesn’t need to be anything crazy, just be overly sexual, seductive and flirtatious.
Since he cannot touch himself, you will notice a huge thirst for touching you. This is my favorite part of chastity, at this point you can reward him nightly by allowing him to give you massages. This should be a reward and it should be a nightly ritual for him to look forward to each night while he is locked. Yes ladies, you heard that right. Nightly massages for the rest of the month. Additionally, he will have a new focus with oral sex. When locked he will focus on pleasing you rather than on moving to other sexual activities. During the month of Locktober, he is limited to look and lick. So enjoy nightly oral sex and massages for the rest of the month and you can thank me in November!
The key is the power
Continue your teasing and incorporate the key into your teasing. Make some jokes or force the word “key” into your every day conversations while making eye contact with him. A key necklace or anklet is a beautiful and fun way to keep the key reinforcement constant.
Keeping things clean!
At this point, you should probably remove the cage for cleaning. You can do this yourself and incorporate it into the teasing or you can have him remove it and wash with your supervision of course.
Teasing teasing and teasing
Continue to increase teasing and watch his reactions carefully. Your goal is to maximize his sexual frustration as that stimulates his hormonal response.
Comments such as, I wish you weren’t locked, I’d sure love to play with you tonight. I am so horny, if we weren’t doing this Locktober thing I have some things I’d love to do to you tonight. Seeing you locked makes me so horny for you. I love that you would do this for us.
Washy washy time again!
In the interest of hygiene, it is once again time to remove the cage and clean the bits and pieces. Weekly washing is simply a recommendation, you are welcome to clean him as much as you wish. He should be allowing soapy water to wash inside the cage during his regular showers during the week.
Great job. You’ve made it halfway to your goal. While this whole thing may seem silly to you, it really is quite an accomplishment for him. His sex drive is no joke and overcoming his daily masturbation habit is a big deal. Do something nice for him to show your appreciation and compliment his job well done. The first half is the hardest part!
Take the teasing up a level
Try some lap dances and be the overtly sexual partner that you’ve been holding back. Almost a caricature of sexuality. I can never get comfortable with the sexual side of myself, it always seems like an act but it is so much fun. Remember that your sexual energy is amplified times a thousand with him right now.
While he watches
At this point, you are probably feel quite horny and I would be surprised if you haven’t masturbated a time or two. When he is locked (to his dismay) I get extremely aroused at the power trip of locking him. Try masturbating in front of him. Give him quite the show and watch him squirm as he grows uncomfortably inside his cage.
Time for some conversation
Have some conversation with him and discuss the things you enjoy about his behavior while he is locked. Ask him how things are going and genuinely listen to his responses. By now you should be experiencing some of the courtship behaviors that you enjoyed while you were dating. Tell him the behaviors that you love and ask him how he is doing. This is a journey that you are taking together and if he seems resentful or sullen, you may want to consider stopping things early. The first time we tried a month lockup, Kev started getting depressed and we had to cut things off. We tried again and were eventually able to work back up to a month.
Soapy soapy time again!
Can’t forget the old hygiene thing! Time for him to wash his bits and pieces. Y
Tease about extending time
Tease him about how much you are enjoying this month, the daily massages. His behavior changes and his laser focus on your needs. Jokingly and flirtatiously ask him what he would think of another month or two. What happens if I enjoy Locktober so much that I don’t want to unlock you?
Take your teasing up a notch
You are on the home stretch now and your guy has been locked for quite some time. Keep that teasing game strong or run the risk of depression or sexual apathy setting in. Keep the conversation centered on how excited you are about unlocking him in a few days.
We are nearing the end of Locktober but that’s no reason to cut back on hygiene. Take the cage off for a good clean and talk about how it will be once he is able to be free of the cage. Once he is all sparkly clean, a very quick blowjob reminder might be in order. That is, if you know your guy will be able to keep from cumming. Just enough to get his blood flowing.
Halloween is here!
Well hot damn, you made it. Together. Halloween is a good night to end the festivities for us unless we are at a Halloween party. It has been a few years since we’ve been to one of those. We wait until we’ve given candy to the last trick-or-treater and unlock him. A very thorough wash with a warm soapy washcloth followed by some very teasey (is that a word?) sex. Lots of breaks to make sure he doesn’t finish too soon. This is a great time for some dock and talk as you reconnect together. Once you feel connected, it is time for a eruption of the highest magnitude. A culmination of everything that you enjoyed together during the month of Locktober.
What about sex?
I would find myself extremely frustrated if I went a month without sex so how do you mix sex into locktober? You unlock him and have sex, of course! He will just need to stop short of having and orgasm and lock back up if things get too steamy. You will become addicted the first time you end sex with a “ok, that is good now lock yourself back up”. The expression on his face as he locks his piece back up is priceless. I also expect him to thank me for locking him so the accompanying reluctant thank you is all too beautiful. It may take some practice to separate sex from orgasm so expect to have an accident or two.
Teasing is the best part and it becomes second nature before long. In fact, teasing him without pressure for sex allows me to feel a tremendous level of sexual freedom to play a part that I don’t normally feel comfortable playing. When he is locked up nice and tight, your sexual theatrics will seem quite real and exciting to him. Taking pleasure in his sexual frustration is the hardest part but once you realize that he enjoys it as much as you, it becomes an exciting challenge. Here are some blogs that you might find helpful for teasing:
We are a gay couple, can we still participate in Locktober?
Of course! Locktober isn’t about gay or straight. If there is a penis in your relationship, cage it up and enjoy the month. I am actually somewhat curious how the dynamic would change in a homosexual male relationship if both were caged! Typically the more dominant cages the more submissive but every relationship is different. I can’t speak to chastity in a gay relationship but you are absolutely welcome here and I’d love to learn about your Locktober journey.
What about pegging?
The timeline above is just a suggestion and is geared more toward beginners and first timers. For those of you who are experts in the realm of chastity and other activities, feel free to modify to suit your relationship. Pegging is also a very big part of our sex life and pegging conveniently does not require that the cage be removed. As such, pegging is an easy addition to the timeline above.
The purpose of Locktober is to add chastity into your lives for one month and experience the wonderful benefits that it can bring to your relationship. For those of you new to Locktober and for those who enjoy chastity sporadically hopefully this sample timeline helps. If you want to put a wager on your success and support a good cause at the same time, consider doing the Locktober challenge to promote testicular cancer awareness. Above all, have fun together!
Emma, again this is fantastic information and fun presentation. Finally, someone did a very practical guide about having a successful Locktober. You are helping to the community of new Keyholders immensely.
A small suggestion to make this post even better is: to integrate your own practices (sex without orgasm, pegging, or teasing out of cage) directly into this guide as a couple of optional wild cards into the calendar, maybe using a different border card color. I mean optional as these tasks are not mandatory for completing the Locktober challenge, but they are fun to try and spice things up as you said.
I have been reading your blog from the beginning, and I wish to thank you for your hard work and sustained posting after so many years.
Thanks so much! You know, I started to go that route but the blog started to read like a choose your own adventure book. If you are old enough to know what a choose your own adventure book is, you’ve really dated yourself. Hah. I think what I will do is create a different/alternative one later in the month for those who are more comfortable with chastity, pegging and those who aren’t beginner level. I wanted this one to come off with the basics as to not scare anyone away. I agree with you but I just couldn’t find a way to execute it well. Stay tuned and thanks for reading all of my sustained wording over so many years!
Also I really think the timeline format works so expect more of them.
The “for dummies” Co. is a pretty sophisticated group. They don’t publish anything without being sure of demand, so there must be a lot of locked up males out there.
I wonder if they will ask me to take it down? Hopefully they realize it was done in jest.
Great straight forward blog presented in a manner that would make a Goddess run and hide. So many articles on the net have such unreasonable expectations that most Goddesses are turned off by all the work! One suggestion is to get a canister of KY Delay spray and use prior to cleanings to avoid any surprise eruptions, especially for those use to cumming on a regular basis! Happy Locktober all!
Are you saying that it comes off as too much work and would make a goddess run and hide? What can I do to lighten it up some?
Sorry, I meant that your blog does not want to make a Goddess run and hide. 🙂
Oh good, I never know how these blogs come off. Glad to hear this one appeals to novices and the running and hiding to a minimum.
Just curious how many folks make it through Locktober without any kind of orgasm for him? Especially if you are pegging him. If there is ever a time your husband/boyfriend is going to cum while caged it would seem like Locktober would be it!